[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

You should be finding yourself a good True Christian™ Woman and start having Little Soldiers for Christ before your Seed runs dry.

I would, but I'm not sure any True Christian™ young women would be interested in someone like me. I'm not a True Christian™ yet and I'm only out of Quarantine for 24 hours. If you know of a True Christian™ women with low enough standards, let me know.

[Talitha]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

Of course not. I'm well versed in the anti-fornication/anti-Onanism scriptures. I know that Jesus hates it enough to kill a man for it, and I certainly don't want Jesus mad at me. What's the point of Onanism? It's not producing little Christian soldiers, saving the lost, or raising money for the church. It's "unfruitful", so to speak. It's a waste of time, and a selfish, sinful act.

You should be finding yourself a good True Christian(tm) Woman and start having Little Soldiers for Christ before your Seed runs dry.

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

I sincerely pray that you don't plan to spend those years fornicating and defiling yourself.

Of course not. I'm well versed in the anti-fornication/anti-Onanism scriptures. I know that Jesus hates it enough to kill a man for it, and I certainly don't want Jesus mad at me. What's the point of Onanism? It's not producing little Christian soldiers, saving the lost, or raising money for the church. It's "unfruitful", so to speak. It's a waste of time, and a selfish, sinful act.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

I'm single right now and I don't have plans to get married for another couple years. Maybe I'll start my own thread then.

I sincerely pray that you don't plan to spend those years fornicating and defiling yourself.

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

I don't understand. Aren't ALL Austrian women ugly?

I agree. I personally prefer blonde-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned, All American, True Christian™ young women. I'm single right now and I don't have plans to get married for another couple years. Maybe I'll start my own thread then.

Alright, check this out...
This girl is Australian, she's pretty and shes done more for God than this entire board has!

She looks like a hippy and no damned hippy has ever done more for God than this entire board...unless they started in 2006 and worked ceaselessly all day, every day, trying to save unsaved trash. No hippy has ever done that.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

How can a flat earth have opposite sides?

[Heynow999]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

ummmm,

The article is about an AUSTRALIAN town, not Austrian. They are on the opposite sides of the world

[Kelly Bundy]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

Alright, check this out...
This girl is Australian, she's pretty and shes done more for God than this entire board has!

[ATTACH]6431[/ATTACH]

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

<< Ignorance and bigotry based on my hatred of Jesus >>

Aren't you tired of hating? Aren't you tired of being scorned and downtrodden? The loving light of Jesus offers a different way. A new way, a wonderful way...in his Holy Spirit.

Join Him, and us. Let go of the past and build a beautiful NEW life here at landover Church.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: A stern warning.

See here? Ignorance and bigotry based on my hatred of Jesus.

Perhaps if you didn't hate Jesus but loved Him instead, you wouldn't be filled with ignorance and bigotry.

[Archetypical Fool]

Re: A stern warning.

Well, with all the beer those Austr-aliens are endlessly drinking I don't see why that would be a problem. But ain't there a lot of homers down there? The men are always calling each other 'mate' after all, so that must mean they've committed the sinful act of male to male mating.
Thank the Lord though that they ain't wanting to make it a town of homers!

See here? Ignorance and bigotry based on my hatred of Jesus.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

Any man who caught sight of that might turn to stone on the spot.

Indeed, Brother Nobar, I imagine those miners and cowboys would become like a rock, instantaneously!

[Nobar King]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

What will you bet they all burn their brassieres and commit lezbean perversions right there on the steps.

Any man who caught sight of that might turn to stone on the spot.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

I do hope that all these hard-working, muscular miners and cowboys aren't donning their "beer goggles" and resorting to gangbuggery of well-dressed male tourists and missionaries. I'd hate to think that Landover's missionaries in Australia were forced to submit to such treatment!

"Queensland", indeed!

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Ugly Austrian Chicks May Apply! Praise!

Maybe if they weren't only looking for Sheilas and tried some Janes and Beckies, or even some Barbaras they'd find things less dire.