[BrotherLarry]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

Brother Hutchins,


I haven't noticed a prayer request posted for your wife. Was this an oversight? I know as you age, you must be experiencing many of the same symptoms she is displaying.


One thing is certain, the prayers of Landover's faithful are powerful. Just look what happened with my dad. Twice, the chariot was swinging low, coming for to carry him home, when suddenly the wings of prayer created an updraft and caused him to soar back to life. It was such a surprise. You can just imagine how I felt about it.


Your Brother in Jesus,
BrotherLarry

[James Hutchins]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

Sweet innocent Sister Rebecca, what Sister Joanna was hinting at is that the position of Mrs James Hutchins may become vacant quite soon. If you know what I mean.

Sadly for my wife, Mrs. Hutchins, she has become more and more scatter brained.
While the female gender does not have strong mental facilities naturally , being created to serve the Master of the house, my wife seems to be more and more confused. I have found her many times walking down the main road muttering loudly (not praying mind you) about something ("I'll show him, I'll blather, blather blather...", I'll stop beside her on my UTV and her face will be as pale as you could imagine if she had had relations with Satan.
I am terribly concerned as I have a sprawling plantation and there are many sinkholes and capped off wells around the property and it is exceedingly easy to fall in. I have already lost my two other wives and I suspect one day in the near future, my wife will make a mistake again and fall into a hole in the Earth deep in the firmament and land in a pool of fire and brimstone and suffer at the hands of the Devil (which is probably going to happen anyway).
I have learned it is best to be prepared and always walk around assuming the worst.
This gives me all the comfort I need:
1 Corinthians 13:6
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

So... while I do not want to 'count my chickens before God creates baby chickens in the shells', I am also a man who believes in being prepared, be it married life or the coming Rapture.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

Brother Larry,


Once again thank you for kind words that give me solace and the strength to carry on in this dreary life. Maybe one day I will be worthy of being welcomed into the arms of Jesus.


Yours in Christ


Thomas Taylor

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

Larry,
Long time no see. When are you coming over to pick up your UNO cards that you left at my place when I had those problems after my wife's sudden death. Just wondering.


Tom

Good Day, Mr. Taylor:


Your grief must have gotten to you, Brother. To me, all cards are of the devil and should not be touched since they can be a gateway to possession. The Lord tells us to avoid all appearance of evil.


My prayer is that your sojourn once again becomes joyful and that you continue to lean on the everlasting Arms of Jesus.


Your fellow traveler to the Promised Land,
BrotherLarry

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

Anyway, that's enough about ME. What do YOU want to know about me?

Larry,
Long time no see. When are you coming over to pick up your UNO cards that you left at my place when I had those problems after my wife's sudden death. Just wondering.


Tom

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

BrotherLarry is far too modest. He has glossed over his indefatigable efforts to bring heathens to their knees crying out affirmation to God.

Once again, Sister Handmaiden is correct. I left out my exploits during which I tirelessly worked with the homer community in NY City (and continue to work with them). I purposely neglected to mention my journeys throughout darkest Peru, Colombia, Argentina, and Brazil, where literally hundreds of men were on their knees crying out to God. I didn't mention my upcoming "Glory! Make Them Whole!" mission to Provincetown, Massachusetts. The devil leads homers there in search of sin, but what the devil doesn't know is that I plan to lay hands on those homers and fill them full of Christian love. I expect there will be thousands that I will come across during this trip.


It's just that I am too humble to continue to talk about myself all the time - that's why I asked what YOU want to know about me. As a certified equine gnathologist, I have already gained the respect of men, and women fawn all over me when they see my courageous and educated face as I smile at everyone as I pass. The devil hates me, and his minions quake at my spiritual power as the full armor of GOD envelops me with His Glory.


Perhaps you recall the musical "Camelot," during which Lancelot introduces himself to us in song with "C'est Moi!"? I can't count the number of times people say that the song reminds them of me. Here, for your help remembering, are the lyrics:


Camelot! Camelot!
In far-off France I heard your call.
Camelot! Camelot!
And here am I to give my all.
I know in my soul what you expect of me,
And all that and more I shall be.
A knight of the Table Round should be invincible,
Succeed where a less fantastic man would fail.
Climb a wall no one else can climb,
Cleave a dragon in record time,
Swim a moat in a coat of heavy iron mail.
No matter the pain, he ought to be unwinceable,
Impossible deeds should be his daily fare.
But where in the world
Is there in the world
A man so extraordinaire?
C'est moi! C'est moi, I'm forced to admit.
'Tis I, I humbly reply.
That mortal who
These marvels can do,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.
I've never lost
In battle or game;
I'm simply the best by far.
When swords are crossed
'Tis always the same:
One blow and au revoir!
C'est moi! C'est moi! So adm'rably fit!
A French Prometheus unbound.
And here I stand, with valour untold,
Exeption'ly brave, amazingly bold,
To serve at the Table Round!
The soul of a knight should be a thing remarkable,
His heart and his mind as pure as morning dew.
With a will and a self-restraint
That's the envy of ev'ry saint
He could easily work a miracle or two.
To love and desire he ought to be unsparkable,
The ways of the flesh should offer no allure.
But where in the world
Is there in the world
A man so untouched and pure?
(C'est moi!)
C'est moi! C'est moi, I blush to disclose.
I'm far too noble to lie.
That man in whom
These qualities bloom,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.
I've never strayed
From all I believe;
I'm blessed with an iron will.
Had I been made
The partner of Eve,
We'd be in Eden still.
C'est moi! C'est moi! The angels have chose
To fight their battles below,
And here I stand, as pure as a pray'r,
Incredibly clean, with virtue to spare,
The godliest man I know!
C'est moi!

And now, I'm off to straighten yet another stallion's jaw in Middle Island, NY.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

I was just praying with the other pastors over your situation, Sister.

I believe you had a policy through the church on Tom?

Come on by my office tomorrow. We can talk about your future in the church and what kind of husband the Lord is leading you toward.

I need to make sure Schlomo Liebowitz knows to prepare a few things for you to sign.

[handmaiden]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

I can very well afford a place in Freehold considering the auto dealerships and car repair shops are mine once my dad passes away. He's been at death's door a few times and I keep praying God will pull him through. Instead He keeps pushing him back.


I was merely commenting on rents and asking if people receive rewards for their tithes to the point that the cost isn't prohibitive.


Sister Handmaiden is correct, I do not like to discuss myself. This may seem unusual for someone who has all the traits I have: handsome, virile, well-built, intelligent, well spoken, articulate, a master poet and songwriter, muscle bound and endowed as well as some of the horses I so carefully tend. Certified in gnathology, I intend to care for the stallions of Jesus one day.


But there's more about me: I also completed a certificate in veterinary topics. I am a student, also - seeking the Ph.D. in creation science and training in horse psychology too. But that's just the tip of the iceberg.


Anyway, that's enough about ME. What do YOU want to know about me?

BrotherLarry is far too modest. He has glossed over his indefatigable efforts to bring heathens to their knees crying out affirmation to God.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

I can very well afford a place in Freehold considering the auto dealerships and car repair shops are mine once my dad passes away. He's been at death's door a few times and I keep praying God will pull him through. Instead He keeps pushing him back.


I was merely commenting on rents and asking if people receive rewards for their tithes to the point that the cost isn't prohibitive.


Sister Handmaiden is correct, I do not like to discuss myself. This may seem unusual for someone who has all the traits I have: handsome, virile, well-built, intelligent, well spoken, articulate, a master poet and songwriter, muscle bound and endowed as well as some of the horses I so carefully tend. Certified in gnathology, I intend to care for the stallions of Jesus one day.


But there's more about me: I also completed a certificate in veterinary topics. I am a student, also - seeking the Ph.D. in creation science and training in horse psychology too. But that's just the tip of the iceberg.


Anyway, that's enough about ME. What do YOU want to know about me?

[Sister Rebecca]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

Sweet innocent Sister Rebecca, what Sister Joanna was hinting at is that the position of Mrs James Hutchins may become vacant quite soon. If you know what I mean.

Oh dear. And here I was getting somewhat excited about two TC ladies banging about together at home and around town. My my. Now I feel a bit flushed and bothered to think I mistook what dear Sister was saying. But that also explains why I couldn't find the Widow J Hutchins in the Freehold phone directory. She isn't a widow at all! Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt to introduce myself to the very much alive Mr. James Hutchins. Nothing inappropriate since he is indeed a married man.

[Basilissa]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

I do come with a bride price, but now that you mention it, I may indeed have to search elsewhere. Brother Larry may in fact be too young and/or not manly enough.
As for the second Mrs James Hutchins, well now I've never considered rooming with another True Christian ™ Lady. I've always had a good strong man to tell me what to do and lead me away from temptation with a firm hand and a good-sized buggy whip. But as long as the second Mrs James Hutchins is a good solid True Christian ™ I can't see as how it would harm anything for two ladies to live together. No sin in that. Besides, I'm sure if that were the case then Pastor Zeke would be sure to come by on a regular basis to assure I am praying on my knees.
I'm off to contact the second Mrs. James Hutchins to see if she would like some company and a helpful hand around the house for a few months. Thank you dear for the suggestion.

Sweet innocent Sister Rebecca, what Sister Joanna was hinting at is that the position of Mrs James Hutchins may become vacant quite soon. If you know what I mean.

[Sister Rebecca]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

But unless you have private means, you might need to look elsewhere. I did hear a rumor that the second Mrs James Hutchins is looking a bit peaky these days.


All the very best in Christ, Rebecca dear,
Joanna

I do come with a bride price, but now that you mention it, I may indeed have to search elsewhere. Brother Larry may in fact be too young and/or not manly enough.
As for the second Mrs James Hutchins, well now I've never considered rooming with another True Christian (tm) Lady. I've always had a good strong man to tell me what to do and lead me away from temptation with a firm hand and a good-sized buggy whip. But as long as the second Mrs James Hutchins is a good solid True Christian ™ I can't see as how it would harm anything for two ladies to live together. No sin in that. Besides, I'm sure if that were the case then Pastor Zeke would be sure to come by on a regular basis to assure I am praying on my knees.
I'm off to contact the second Mrs. James Hutchins to see if she would like some company and a helpful hand around the house for a few months. Thank you dear for the suggestion.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

Furthermore, he is currently not a resident of Freehold, though he is champing at the bit waiting on Pastor Zeke's final approval on the matter.

Wasn't he complaining the other day that he couldn't afford to live in Freehold? He was talking about it here - and that was just rental prices!

I don't know what your financial situation is, Sister Rebecca and I'm not asking because it's none of my business and anyway I wouldn't understand the answer. But unless you have private means, you might need to look elsewhere. I did hear a rumor that the second Mrs James Hutchins is looking a bit peaky these days.


All the very best in Christ, Rebecca dear,
Joanna

[Basilissa]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

Well, if he agrees to wed, I am a former resident and hold a small amount of sway with Pastor Zeke and the Housing Commission. I'm sure I could repent on my knees before good Pastor Zeke and convince him to allow my new husband Larry and I to purchase a home back in Freehold.

Of course! Just tell Zeke that the man you're planning to marry is "the horse guy." For some reason, Zeke can never remember his name.

[Sister Rebecca]

Re: Need a good strong TC husband

Well, if he agrees to wed, I am a former resident and hold a small amount of sway with Pastor Zeke and the Housing Commission. I'm sure I could repent on my knees before good Pastor Zeke and convince him to allow my new husband Larry and I to purchase a home back in Freehold.