[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Now, now, Pastor. There will be no murder and/or mayhem at my wedding.

Why of course there won't be! Perish the thought. Yes, we will all get along just for you. Really. No, REALLY!

EDIT 2: Oh, and one other thing. I hate gold. It's ugly and overdone. Your ring can be gold if you want, but mine's going to be either silver, platinum, or white gold. With just a single diamond. That'd be perfect. And I'd never forgive you if you made me wear a gold ring for the rest of my life.

I'm sure we can find a nice silver ring. In fact, I shall donate it as a wedding present. After the ceremony we can have SS play JESUS-ON-THE-CROSS while all of the pagan women are.....um....cooking.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Now, now, Pastor. There will be no murder and/or mayhem at my wedding. I simply won't have it. While the guests are there, you can minister to them (gently), but for just one day, I'd like my heathen friends and the Christian guests to pretend to get along (consider it a wedding gift to me). The Christians can sit on one side of the church, and the heathens can sit on the other. I'm sure it won't be that difficult to restrain yourselves, will it? Just this once? Please?

No, we've given you enough liberty, and only as long as you agreed with us.
The unsaved will NOT enter the Church!
And I doubt they will even be allowed outside.
Maybe we can get them a big TV screen as in those drivein cinemas instead...
Of course.. none will actually still be around after the welcome.

Well, he may wear whatever he likes, but I'm afraid I haven't known him long enough to have him as a Bride's Maid (I am truly sorry about this, Twink, but I think you'd make a darling flower girl!). Besides, I've already picked my Bride's Maids, assuming they'll agree.

No sodomites will be allowed!!
Nor will we allow any unsaved bride's maids inside the Church.

EDIT: This one would be so perfect if those rays were purple, to match my dress. Is there one like that?
Alie's Pick

No, there isn't one with purple rays, also that would be too gay.
Personally I prefer the same model but with black, so that's the one I'm wearing.

Are you nuts? Have you taken complete leave of your senses? True Christian™ Pastors do NOT officiate at the "weddings" of sodomites, nor do we attend such controversial functions. You can be assured that Pastor Phelps will be making his presence nearby however, along with all of his flock.

And please refrain from posting any photos of you and your homer bum-chums on this Godly forum.

Uhm.. There must be some mistake good Pastor, this is MY wedding.
And I certainly won't allow sodomites (Twink especially) anywhere, except in the bonfire before the ceremony.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Ok, who gave the female the impression she was allowed to make decisions about this? I'm pretty sure that this is how Greenham Common got started.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

The Christians can sit on one side of the church, and the heathens can sit on the other.

HA! Do you really think God would allow heathens to taint His church? Get that thought out of your head right now! The ceremony will be held just outside of Freehold, in Brother Bob Wilson's barn! It was going to outside, but none of the flock want to tempt being around if Jesus decides to smite the unSaved and we get little pieces of heathen on our good clothes!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

If it's ok with you, Alie, may I bring my beloved rottweilers, Daisy and Raptor, with me? They might discourage any christian looking to give me a 'warm welcome'.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Are you nuts? Have you taken complete leave of your senses? True Christian™ Pastors do NOT officiate at the "weddings" of sodomites, nor do we attend such controversial functions. You can be assured that Pastor Phelps will be making his presence nearby however, along with all of his flock.

And please refrain from posting any photos of you and your homer bum-chums on this Godly forum.

[WickedWitch]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

It's a GREAT idea! All of these sinners and witches all arriving at Landover the same day! We can have quite a celebration, and maybe a giant bonfire! *Giggles excitedly*

Now, now, Pastor. There will be no murder and/or mayhem at my wedding. I simply won't have it. While the guests are there, you can minister to them (gently), but for just one day, I'd like my heathen friends and the Christian guests to pretend to get along (consider it a wedding gift to me). The Christians can sit on one side of the church, and the heathens can sit on the other. I'm sure it won't be that difficult to restrain yourselves, will it? Just this once? Please?

But you'd have to make sure none of the guests come carrying any fire or stones. I imagine that with a group of us heathens who they'd love to catch, they'd see it as a prime opportunity.

Pastor Al's comment

You see? You see????

I know, I'm hoping this is a problem that can be resolved with civility and good manners.

If Twinkerbelle is wearing a dress as one of your "bridesmaids", I'd advise you to have him wear some Kevlar underneath. The fury of the Godly men of Landover will be so great, I doubt they'll be able to contain it long enough to lynch him.

Well, he may wear whatever he likes, but I'm afraid I haven't known him long enough to have him as a Bride's Maid (I am truly sorry about this, Twink, but I think you'd make a darling flower girl!). Besides, I've already picked my Bride's Maids, assuming they'll agree.

EDIT: This one would be so perfect if those rays were purple, to match my dress. Is there one like that?
Alie's Pick

EDIT 2: Oh, and one other thing. I hate gold. It's ugly and overdone. Your ring can be gold if you want, but mine's going to be either silver, platinum, or white gold. With just a single diamond. That'd be perfect. And I'd never forgive you if you made me wear a gold ring for the rest of my life.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

It's a GREAT idea! All of these sinners and witches all arriving at Landover the same day! We can have quite a celebration, and maybe a giant bonfire! *Giggles excitedly*

Praise Jesus, good Pastor, what an excellent idea!
Maybe you could also honor us by being best man, as that would really grant this marriage a blessing from God.
Thank you in whatever case, and Praise Jesus!

Well he's definitely not invited. Especially not with that attitude.

Of course not, but before the marriage celebration begins, me and some of the Godly men of LBC would like to give the heathens a warm welcome.
A VERY warm welcome...

So of course we want Star Finder to attend that welcoming too.
I even have a present for him; seeing as he is a collector of rocks and metals, I want to give him a few fine pieces of lead.
Any heathen attending the welcoming may get a few, that's how generous we are.


And I'm looking at ties right now.. How about one of these:

http://www.2002ties.com/ties/closeups2/799.htm

http://www.2002ties.com/ties/closeups2/819.htm

http://www.2002ties.com/ties/closeups2/818.htm

http://www.2002ties.com/ties/closeups2/989.htm

I have some trouble finding Godly rings however, most are too cheap and doesn't mention Jesus in any way.
I'll keep looking there, but I'll probably have them custom made.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Well of course you're coming! So are Lilith and TwinkBoy and Rex! You know, I think I'm going to have to start a thread all about who's invited... *Giggles excitedly*

If Twinkerbelle is wearing a dress as one of your "bridesmaids", I'd advise you to have him wear some Kevlar underneath. The fury of the Godly men of Landover will be so great, I doubt they'll be able to contain it long enough to lynch him.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Well of course you're coming! So are Lilith and TwinkBoy and Rex! You know, I think I'm going to have to start a thread all about who's invited... *Giggles excitedly*

But you'd have to make sure none of the guests come carrying any fire or stones. I imagine that with a group of us heathens who they'd love to catch, they'd see it as a prime opportunity.

It's a GREAT idea! All of these sinners and witches all arriving at Landover the same day! We can have quite a celebration, and maybe a giant bonfire! *Giggles excitedly*

You see? You see????

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Well of course you're coming! So are Lilith and TwinkBoy and Rex! You know, I think I'm going to have to start a thread all about who's invited... *Giggles excitedly*

It's a GREAT idea! All of these sinners and witches all arriving at Landover the same day! We can have quite a celebration, and maybe a giant bonfire! *Giggles excitedly*

[WickedWitch]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Speaking of wedding guests, am I invited? I know that if you're going to marry Sall...er....SS it'll be all xtian so it'd be good to have a fellow heathen about, wouldn't it?

Well of course you're coming! So are Lilith and TwinkBoy and Rex! You know, I think I'm going to have to start a thread all about who's invited... *Giggles excitedly*

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

My HAT is only SPF 50!

Really? I didn't know tinfoil came in SPF 50.

To get back on topic, will you be coming to my wedding, Pastor?

Speaking of wedding guests, am I invited? I know that if you're going to marry Sall...er....SS it'll be all xtian so it'd be good to have a fellow heathen about, wouldn't it?

[WickedWitch]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

No. I am quite traumatized by the suggestion of SPF 70 sunblock.

Okay, Pastor Pistle, just for you, I'll post a picture of my sunblock.


To get back on topic, will you be coming to my wedding, Pastor?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

That isn't the brand that mine is. Sorry. Maybe that particular brand doesn't go to 70, but the one I have does. If you're really so doubtful of me, Pastor, I will take a picture of my sunblock for you (when I get home). Would that put your mind at ease?

EDIT: This isn't my brand either, but I'm just showing you that SPF 70 does exist: Sunblock If you still want to see what I have, I can post a picture later.

No. I am quite traumatized by the suggestion of SPF 70 sunblock.