[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Hmmmm I don't think I would give up my culture, even for Jesus.

[SalvationSeeker]

Salvation Seeker, I did a little shopping. Which do you want for your wedding?

No proper ties?
I've never been too fond of bowties.

And you should keep your racist comments to yourself. *Beats RetardFace with her Mighty Stick of Justice* What are you even doing in here, anyway? That post has nothing to do with my personal ad or my wedding. Sod off!

Never mind Star-Finder, dear..
He's just jealous that he could never consummate a marriage since his stones were blown off.
He's only trying to "hit you up" for an invitation.


I don't mind that you're a gook, Jesus can make you as white as snow.
Don't worry about it.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Salvation Seeker, I did a little shopping. Which do you want for your wedding?

[WickedWitch]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

another slant-eye! You should marry Hitoshi's horney friend.

And you should keep your racist comments to yourself. *Beats RetardFace with her Mighty Stick of Justice* What are you even doing in here, anyway? That post has nothing to do with my personal ad or my wedding. Sod off!

[Star Finder]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

I am a gook but I can't cook worth a darn. (in fact I'm ordering out for Rice tonight)

another slant-eye! You should marry Hitoshi's horney friend.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

The correct response is "Join'em".

The correct response to ANYTHING a True Christian™ man tells you is "Yes, sir, I will." Unless he's telling you not to do something, in which case "No, sir, I won't" is more applicable. Also, "Praise Jesus!" is acceptable in nearly all circumstances, but not all (see the 2006 mid-term elections for an example of a situation in which shouting "Praise Jesus!" might not be considered suitable.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, I have ovaries where my soul should be...

And the rest is up to you menfolk. I'm going through with this forced wedding, and I imagine I'll be putting up with a lot of stupid requests from my husband-to-be once this whole thing is over, and all I'm asking if that you allow me to pick out the colours and the dresses. That not so much. If you're all such tough men, I think you should be able to handle that. Besides, girls dream of their wedding days their whole lives... It would be so upsetting if I couldn't have at least a few things to be the way I've always pictured them.

Your wedding day is one day. Your afterlife is eternal. How do you picture that?

[WickedWitch]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

...they're not your wife?

The correct response is "Join'em".

I suppose that's all right, as long as the Church Elders allow it and your decisions are in line with theirs.

Just a few rules:
No bright faggot colours, white and/or black only!
Nothing homerish in neither colour, shape, or form!
Same goes for the tux and the dress!
And flowers? Doubtful!

No. No, no, no, no, no. If I'm going to get married against my will, I'm going to have a few things done my way. I will have red roses and purple calla lillies and pretty yellow daffodils (not all in the same arrangement, of course, that would end up looking silly). My bouquet will be red roses only. My dress is going to be purple, and your tie will match. No stupid looking bow-ties are allowed within the wedding party. If guests want to look like fools and wear bow-ties, they can, but I won't have anyone messing up my wedding pictures with those horrible things. My Bride's Maids will wear yellow dresses with red accents and your Groom's Men will have red ties. None of these colours are allowed to be bright: I don't want bright purple, red, or yellow on people. On the flowers, that's all right. The reds on the clothes will be deep, as will the purples. The yellows are going to be this shade: link to the yellow I've chosen.

And the rest is up to you menfolk. I'm going through with this forced wedding, and I imagine I'll be putting up with a lot of stupid requests from my husband-to-be once this whole thing is over, and all I'm asking if that you allow me to pick out the colours and the dresses. That not so much. If you're all such tough men, I think you should be able to handle that. Besides, girls dream of their wedding days their whole lives... It would be so upsetting if I couldn't have at least a few things to be the way I've always pictured them.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Ah, I see. I suppose that does make some sense. But I am picking the colours, the flowers, my dress and your tux.

I suppose that's allright, as long as the Church elders allow it and your decisions are in line with theirs.

Just a few rules:
No bright faggot colours, white and/or black only!
Nothing homerish in neither color, shape, or form!
Same goes for the tux and the dress!
And flowers? Doubtful!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

"If you can't beat'em..."

...they're not your wife?

[WickedWitch]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

He meant that me and the Church elders will have to negotiate it.
You're not invited, as we cannot have the future bride standing there, blushing and everything while we make plans for the wedding.

Ah, I see. I suppose that does make some sense. But I am picking the colours, the flowers, my dress and your tux.



"If you can't beat'em..."

[Brother Temperance]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

My circular logic! Goodness you are impossible.

So you admit that it is impossible for your circular logic to prevail against Jesus' truth? Praise!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

I know exactly how it looks to you. But like I said, because of your beliefs you wouldn't try to protect your children from the Flying Spaghetti Monster, nor will I try to protect mine from a hell I don't believe exists.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is, in fact, one of Satan's many disguises! Certainly, we would protect our children from its evil and perverse influence!

You can clearly see the Flying Spaghetti Monster/Satan in this ancient mural, about to engage in unspeakable acts of depravity with a minuscule-tallywhackered man who has disrobed in anticipation of contact with the phallic "noodly appendage"!



Oh yes, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is every bit as real as Satan!!

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

From what I understand, there won't be any negotiating because it's already been decided and I apparently have no say.

But that won't stop me from saying no.

He meant that me and the Church elders will have to negotiate it.
You're not invited, as we cannot have the future bride standing there, blushing and everything while we make plans for the wedding.

[Enobarbus]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

So, if you don't like this post, you can blame Salvation Seeker, because I'm only here because he told me to come here and post. old :p

I think this is kind of pointless because I'm not actually looking for a relationship, but seeing as I like talking, especially about myself, what the hell, right?

Good gracious, really?

and an extremely proud Canadian (I was born under my flag and I will live and die under my flag). I am Pagan and I am a Witch. I'm not gay, but I am pro-gay. I don't think I would ever have an abortion, because I desperately want to be a mother, but I support women who choose abortion.

I was tempted to make some comments about how and where you were conceived, but for the sake of the pure Landover Ladies, won't go into it here.

...but I'm a good massuse. I've never heard a single complaint from anybody I've ever massaged; in fact, they don't really say a lot because I tend to relax them so much that they fall asleep.

Are you sure that they are relaxed? I nearly dozed off halfway through your post and often fall asleep if I try to read more than two or three of your effusions. But this is not from relaxation.

I'm afraid that it doesn't surprise me that you have not recanted of your witchery. You will have all of eternity in the company of the greatest and most vile witch of all -- Satan himself -- to regret your foolishness.

[Lady Sorrow]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Well Miss Undecided! Clearly the fact that you've posted all this screams that what you want is a Godly man to cure you of your sinning ways and to cure that sassy mouth of yours!

You are not being at all grateful to Mister Seeker for his most generous offer to make you his wife. It seems he'd be able to teach you a thing or two about proper women's manners!
Why, it is an honor to have a Godly man make an offer for you, I myself am waiting until that one of the Pastors finds a Godly man for me, so I can start doing what I was put on this Earth to do, make babies. Really, dear, you talk of studying? A woman doesn't need to know that. It won't help you in childbirth, or when you're cleaning the floor.

Pastors, maybe Undecided needs to take some lessons from the wiser Landover ladies? Maybe they could help brainwash her make her into a proper Christian lady(r).