[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Sister M&Ms Needs a Life! Suggestions?

eh hem , cough cough

Is a doctor cupping your beanbag?

Back off, Mayfield.

[JennyD]

Re: Sister M&Ms Needs a Life! Suggestions?

eh hem , cough cough

Brother Eliot, I thought you were going to have that checked out.

Some would make comments about how odd a coincidence it is that the back of your throat broke out in a strange rash just a few days after you counselled Ted Haggard.

I wouldn't make such comments, of course.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Sister M&Ms Needs a Life! Suggestions?

Is a doctor cupping your beanbag?

Back off, Mayfield.

How old was the oldest father in the Bible and close are you to that age?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

How IS your endowment, Brother Hatchett? Will there be enough for that chair you wanted at LBU?

And how's that heart condition coming along?


Sister, I realize you're rather jealous of my trim figure -- how many months along are you now? Seven, eight? Oh, only three? -- but that is no cause to go making insinuations that my diet means anything other than a healthy respect for the body the Good Lord gave me.

Perhaps if you cut back so you were eating for two instead of six, you'd not be packing on quite so many "baby pounds".

As I am a high ranking member of the Ladies of Landover, I'd hate to have to put out an notice that our members should look for alternate monthly accommodations due to certain establishments being run by unmarried women with slight liberal inclinations.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

As I am a high ranking member of the Ladies of Landover...

Why do you think Sister Jenny didn't sound more excited about the "advertising" dress we're making for her?

I ordered 200 yards of a strong poly-blend that should hold up, and that will make at least 5 of them, so she doesn't have to launder the same one over and over. It might be a little heavy in warm weather, but at least it won't get creased and wrinkly....which would make it look like she's bad at ironing, and attract the wrong sort.

I had the bill sent to her house.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

I'm not sure that Brother Hatchet's digestive system could handle that moo-goo-gai-glop organic mess she whips up in her cauldron "wok" or whatever it is. Maybe he could rent her out for a few months as a servant girl first, just to see how it might go.

A dry run, so to speak.

[JennyD]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

I hope you people aren't going to force me to tell you about my late husband. The memories are very painful, and I really don't want to discuss it, OK?

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

I hope you people aren't going to force me to tell you about my late husband. The memories are very painful, and I really don't want to discuss it, OK?

Wait....does that mean you already have a suitably modest wedding dress you can wear around town, after we stitch the U to the chest?

Because I ordered that polyblend fabric for overnight delivery.

[JennyD]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Wait....does that mean you already have a suitably modest wedding dress you can wear around town, after we stitch the U to the chest?

Because I ordered that polyblend fabric for overnight delivery.

It means I'm a widow, and blended fabrics are unGodly.

Brothers and Sisters, I think Mistress Cookie is rapidly falling into sin, because of her unmarried nature! She ordered a blended fabric!

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Mistress Cookie needs a husband! Suggestions?

Oops. Well, when all that fabric arrives at your house tomorrow COD, I'd suggest you either not "hear" the bell, or explain it was all a terrible misunderstanding. Golly....good luck!

I just got a whole new slew of pm's in response to the title of this thread being changed, and it's frozen my mailbox again.

I know you were trying to help, Dear Sister, but some might see this as harrasment. I only say that because I would hate for you (or anyone else who took it upon themselves to try to procure for me in this thread this afternoon) to be hit with a lawsuit by someone, or something.

[JennyD]

Re: JennyD needs a lawyer! Suggestions?

I hope the new title meets with your approval.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: JennyD needs a lawyer! Suggestions?

I hope the new title meets with your approval.

Oh, it looks lovely. Thank you.

It wasn't really me that was upset (because you know I'm just not that way about things), it was Bobby-Joe who was all in a tither because the server was crashing because all these pm proposals or whathaveyou were flooding into my mailbox all at once, and it happened twice, and then a few of the pastors were disgruntled and thought I was auctioning myself off or something, when their lawyers say they have a claim on Dearly Departed Daryl's estate...and they don't want some "playboy" type sweeping me off and claiming half before it's all resolved...or something. I don't know. I really don't have a head for business and all that fine print.

BUT ANYWAY, TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT: I didn't know the Bible was so adamant about polyester blends! Where does it talk about that, again? Daryl wore these horrible leisure suits sometimes. I should have known right then he was the devil.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

I'm not sure that Brother Hatchet's digestive system could handle that moo-goo-gai-glop organic mess she whips up in her cauldron "wok" or whatever it is. Maybe he could rent her out for a few months as a servant girl first, just to see how it might go.

A dry run, so to speak.

It's called Moo Joo Jai Pan. You can imagine what's in it.

[The Absurdist]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

It's called Moo Joo Jai Pan. You can imagine what's in it.

Jews?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Jews?

No. Snails. It's a French dish; the JOOS call it gefilte.