[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Pastor Al has informed me that polygyny is an acceptable form of marriage. I then would gladly propose to Sister Jenny, assuming she bakes excellent pies, requires few beatings, and will share chores with my other wife/wives. I realize that Sister Jenny is barren and cannot produce new Soldiers, but I anticipate additional wives that can bear fruit. I am sure Sister Jenny will provide appropriate Christian support.

Yours in Christ

Brother Lazarus

Brother L;

Polygyny has nothing to do with multiple wives. You keep confusing it with Polygymy. What you're talking about is having concubines.

Both are acceptable lifestyles for True Christian(tm) Men.

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Pastor Al has informed me that polygyny is an acceptable form of marriage. I then would gladly propose to Sister Jenny, assuming she bakes excellent pies, requires few beatings, and will share chores with my other wife/wives. I realize that Sister Jenny is barren and cannot produce new Soldiers, but I anticipate additional wives that can bear fruit. I am sure Sister Jenny will provide appropriate Christian support.

Yours in Christ

Brother Lazarus

[JennyD]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Sister Jenny, a list of appropriate suitors will be presented to you at the next Ladies of Landover prayer breakfast. I strongly urge you not to be late with a "headache" again.

Sister, I believe the next meeting is during my unclean time.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Oh, sister! There you are. Would you mind explaining to that tartish Sister Jenny why she must remember her place and not act all uppity? I'd actually prefer that one of our elderly sisters do it but I haven't seen Sister SUV yet this morning.

YIC
Pastor Al

So it seems a husband is needed for the poor dear now more than ever. When a pastor, who has better things to do, is noticing and worrying about a sister's troubling tendency to feminazism, something must be done.
Sister Jenny, a list of appropriate suitors will be presented to you at the next Ladies of Landover prayer breakfast. I strongly urge you not to be late with a "headache" again.

[JennyD]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

That was YOU???!!!???

Is THAT how your husband had you dress to witness, Cookie?

[Nobar King]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

That was YOU???!!!???

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Anyway, Do Brother Nobar and Sister Cookie have something they'd like to share with us?

Oh my goodness! That's from the event where I first met someone from Landover, and my eyes were opened to True Christianity™ ! ! !

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

There's a women's section?

Why have I been shut out?

Is it because I'm barren, and cannot be Saved in childbearing? Is it?

We probably forgot to pay the rent of something...? You know how addle brained us women can be.

Anyway, Do Brother Nobar and Sister Cookie have something they'd like to share with us?

[JennyD]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Anyway, there was some discussion and I believe the ladies' group passed some informal guidelines about the proper attire for church. You'd have to ask in the women's only section. I never go there. In fact I had forgotten the entire incident.

There's a women's section?

Why have I been shut out?

Is it because I'm barren, and cannot be Saved in childbearing? Is it?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Don't the Freehold Laws have a restriction of size 38KJV Pastor?

We used Thumper as the model and I don't quite remember the details. Pastors usually restrict ourselves to conformity checks rather than trying to milk out the details of those sorts of regulations. I do remember 38KJV though.

Interesting story. It all came about when some of the the Ladies of Landover...who are usually not known as nurseries anyway if you follow my drift... tried to keep dear Sister Thumper out of Sunday Services because they said she was a huge distraction....or, rather, a couple of them to the men sitting near her.

Of course it wasn't true. She might have been perceived as a remote distraction to the Pastor ONCE when she sat in the front pew because from the elevated pulpit one could see that she was simply bursting with the love of JESUS swelling in her heart, yes she was! GLORY TO JESUS!

To make a long story short, I forgot a couple of minor parts of my sermon and made one or two silly grammatical errors such as describing JESUS feeding the masses by converting water to wine and giving out 'two huge jugs containing the sweet nectar of life to every man with a'...but then then I clumsily fell forward over the podium. I simply lost my footing. It had nothing to do with Sister Thumper at all!

Anyway, there was some discussion and I believe the ladies' group passed some informal guidelines about the proper attire for church. You'd have to ask in the women's only section. I never go there. In fact I had forgotten the entire incident.

[Wide-Open]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

This lady has a husband. Maybe you need enhancements.

Don't the Freehold Laws have a restriction of size 38KJV Pastor?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Rev. Rod hasn't replied.

Is it because I have a reputation for ?

Or maybe just because I'm barren . . .

This lady has a husband. Maybe you need enhancements.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Barren? Might as well marry the Great Gobi!
How do you know sister? Are you certain?

[JennyD]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Rev. Rod hasn't replied.

Is it because I have a reputation for ?

Or maybe just because I'm barren . . .

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

I do

+ =