I need a firm, loving Christian husband.

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Re: I need a firm, loving Christian husband.

Wow, did you invert that yourself? Do you want Jesus to give you a cookie for your outstanding insult?

[Poetic Peter]

Re: I need a firm, loving Christian husband.

Is that you in your avatar?

I have decided to hook you up


with high voltage instead of a woman























death to trolls!

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Re: I need a firm, loving Christian husband.

Is that you in your avatar?

[Sister Tinny]

Re: I need a firm, loving Christian husband.

Why on earth are you posting in this thread, then? Stop trolling!

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Re: I need a firm, loving Christian husband.

No, I'm not trying to ruin anything. She's just not my type. My apologies, Sister Tinny. I'm sure you don't really want me anyways, seeing as I don't fit any of your requirements. Shame.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: I need a firm, loving Christian husband.

Thank goodness I don't qualify...

Are you trying to ruin things for all the single True Christian™ women around here? Stop trying to force us to abide by your twisted world view.


Sister Tinny, I too and searching for a Godly husband, and I will include you in my prayers. Perhaps we could get together for a day of baking and prayer that Jesus will soon send us the True Christian™ husbands we so sorely need?

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Re: I need a firm, loving Christian husband.

Thank goodness I don't qualify...

[Sister Tinny]

Well, Landover single men, today is your lucky day. After my stint of evangelizing to the mooselims I've decided to finally hunker down and get hitched with a kind, upright Christian(TM) man. Here are some qualities I would prefer:

- White skin (obvious)
- Owner of at least 15 authentic Freehold Press KJV1611 Bibles (two for us, and one for each of our children)
- A good shot (guns, you perverts) OR qualified attack dog trainer
- Well-read in apologetics and Creation Science (Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron's critique on evilution, ex-homer psychology, etc.)

I am especially fond of pastors, preachers, and ministers in Christ(R) as I feel that ministry is my vocation and so sorely needed in this wretched suckular world. However, whomever Jesus sends my way will ultimately be acceptable. I am obedient, submissive (to fellow Christians), virginal, and have full, child-bearing hips to squeeze out your delightful Godly offspring.