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  • #16
    Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

    Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
    Are you sure you don't want to change it to "John Kerry"? I haven't seen this much flip-flopping since 2004.
    Sorry about that but I think I've finally settled down with "Brother Daniel" Funny joke though.

    Comment

    • #17
      Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

      Here is the kind of woman I'm looking for. I mean just look at her.
      Attached Files

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      • #18
        Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

        Originally posted by Heaven-Diver View Post
        Here is the kind of woman I'm looking for. I mean just look at her.
        Well, Daniel, this skinny young harlot that you have provided a picture of does seem to have sound political views -- if the inscription on her T-shirt can be relied on -- but is she really the sort of young woman that a pious young man would want to be seen with? Take some advice from an older and more experienced man, Daniel: I know a brazen young trollop when I see one, and that is a brazen young trollop.

        I think that it is a little early for you to be considered a fully-fledged "brother", Daniel. Most have to put in a lot of time attending church, praying, fasting, and proving their worthiness before being considered True Christians™.

        This is not to say that you don't show some good qualities and a change in title seems appropriate.
        Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

        Comment

        • #19
          Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

          Originally posted by Enobarbus View Post
          Well, Daniel, this skinny young harlot that you have provided a picture of does seem to have sound political views -- if the inscription on her T-shirt can be relied on -- but is she really the sort of young woman that a pious young man would want to be seen with? Take some advice from an older and more experienced man, Daniel: I know a brazen young trollop when I see one, and that is a brazen young trollop.

          I think that it is a little early for you to be considered a fully-fledged "brother", Daniel. Most have to put in a lot of time attending church, praying, fasting, and proving their worthiness before being considered True Christians™.

          This is not to say that you don't show some good qualities and a change in title seems appropriate.
          Thank you Enobarbus. I'll keep your advise in mind.

          Comment

          • #20
            Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

            Congratulations, young man; you received your desired name.
            You're all ready now for adventures in a new, exciting place.







            Daniel in the den of Lines

            Comment

            • #21
              Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

              Does this topic still concern me finding a good, True Christian woman? It seems that the topic has changed.

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              • #22
                Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

                Originally posted by Daniel View Post
                Does this topic still concern me finding a good, True Christian woman? It seems that the topic has changed.
                There you go, young man, showing us how little you actually trust in the Lord our God. Is it not written (Hebrews 13:8):

                Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

                The same goes for this thread. I think you'd better get yourself on your knees before the Lord before you worry too much about any displays of faith before the ladies.

                Oh, and the same goes for that young trollop you sent us the picture of a while back. I seem to have misplaced her contact information. How can we get in touch with her to offer her the personal discipling that you, yourself, will thank us for later?
                sigpic

                I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

                Comment

                • #23
                  Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

                  Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
                  There you go, young man, showing us how little you actually trust in the Lord our God. Is it not written (Hebrews 13:8):

                  Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

                  The same goes for this thread. I think you'd better get yourself on your knees before the Lord before you worry too much about any displays of faith before the ladies.

                  Oh, and the same goes for that young trollop you sent us the picture of a while back. I seem to have misplaced her contact information. How can we get in touch with her to offer her the personal discipling that you, yourself, will thank us for later?
                  Notice the word "not" in red letters. That scripture is in fact written in Hebrews 13:8.

                  Comment

                  • #24
                    Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

                    Originally posted by Daniel View Post
                    Notice the word "not" in red letters. That scripture is in fact written in Hebrews 13:8.

                    You presume to correct a Godly True Christian of Landover? I prescribe 5 hours in your prayer closet after whatever the pastors decide to do with you.
                    "If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
                    (Leviticus 21:6-7)

                    Comment

                    • #25
                      Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

                      Originally posted by Daniel View Post
                      Notice the word "not" in red letters. That scripture is in fact written in Hebrews 13:8.
                      "Is it not written" is a QUESTION, not a statement!
                      You seem to believe it says "It is not written" but it doesn't.. Read it again.

                      See, this is what happens when you try to correct a True Christian, you make a fool of yourself.
                      As always, we aren't wrong, it's the unsaved who are. You just fail to realize.
                      You were making good progress, Daniel.. Don't let the devil make you stumble now!
                      Get on your knees and pray God will forgive you!
                      Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 03-07-2007, 04:18 PM.
                      If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                      A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                      Proverbs 9:12-13

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                      • #26
                        Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

                        Originally posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
                        "Is it not written" is a QUESTION, not a statement!
                        You seem to believe it says "It is not written" but it doesn't.. Read it again.

                        See, this is what happens when you try to correct a True Christian, you make a fool of yourself.
                        As always, we aren't wrong, it's the unsaved who are. You just fail to realize.
                        You were making good progress, Daniel.. Don't let the devil make you stumble now!
                        Get on your knees and pray God will forgive you!
                        By all means, I'm sure Little Boy here would jump at the chance to fall to his knees and be showered in jesus' golden love.
                        sigpic
                        Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                        Comment

                        • #27
                          Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

                          Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                          By all means, I'm sure Little Boy here would jump at the chance to fall to his knees and be showered in jesus' golden love.
                          Just as we True Christians™ have been attempting to get YOU to do all these long years. One day Jesus will enter your heart, VanJellobrain, and on that day the entire congregation shall enjoy watching Jesus spray His golden love shower upon your face. Glory!!
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment

                          • #28
                            Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

                            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                            Just as we True Christians™ have been attempting to get YOU to do all these long years. One day Jesus will enter your heart, VanJellobrain, and on that day the entire congregation shall enjoy watching Jesus spray His golden love shower upon your face. Glory!!

                            *Regains composure*
                            I'm quite confident that won't be happening, my dear Zeke.
                            Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 03-07-2007, 11:35 PM.
                            sigpic
                            Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                            Comment

                            • #29
                              Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

                              Originally posted by Daniel View Post
                              Notice the word "not" in red letters. That scripture is in fact written in Hebrews 13:8.
                              OK, you're young and uneducated. Which is a deadly combination when reproduction (or Bible study with the sisters, whatever you want to call it) lays it's wolverine-like grip into a male's brain. If you, Daniel, expect to fellowship with the holy family of Landover Baptist Church, we need to see your notarized abstinence pledge TOMORROW. Do you understand?
                              sigpic

                              I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

                              Comment

                              • #30
                                Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman

                                Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post

                                *Regains composure*
                                I'm quite confident that won't be happening, my dear Zeke.
                                Apparently, VanHaggard is afraid she'd explode if exposed to Jesus' love.

                                Comment

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