25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

[Warrior in Christ]

Hello, some of you already know me by now. Some of my hobbies include sending unsaved and non-believers to hell through the will of the LORD and His favorite nation The United States of America(and God Bless it!), firing weapons, killing in the name of Christ and all of His teachings, working out, Bible study, and most recently, meeting other True Christians™. I'm looking for a woman that is adept in the ways of the LORD and True Teachings™ of the Landover Baptist Church™. Another very important prerequisite would have to be the abilities to cook and clean, though I don't doubt that True Christian™ women are expert in these matters.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Friend, I imagine you're going to have to fight the ladies off with a basball bat with a resume like that. Have them take a number and bake you a pie, just for starters.

Happy hunting.

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Friend, I imagine you're going to have to fight the ladies off with a basball bat with a resume like that. Have them take a number and bake you a pie, just for starters.

Happy hunting.

That sounds like one great plan Brother. But in terms of pies, I've been pretty careful lately with where I place them. It seems as though the nigra population is growing in certain areas of Colorado and there has been a sharp increase in pie theft. A coincidence? I doubt it.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Talitha]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Hi Brother Corey
Talitha here in response to your Post.
You seem like a really good honest All-American hunk Christian Male.
Now, normally I prefer my men to be rich & Geriatric more mature in years than your good self, but reading your Posts on here, well, you got me feeling like a silly Schoolgirl.

Tell me now, do they allow you to wear your erm.... Uniform....erm....at home?
............... and would you consider a (very slightly) older True Christian™ Blonde, Blue-eyed Lady?

YIC
Talitha

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Hi Brother Corey
Talitha here in response to your Post.
You seem like a really good honest All-American hunk Christian Male.
Now, normally I prefer my men to be rich & Geriatric more mature in years than your good self, but reading your Posts on here, well, you got me feeling like a silly Schoolgirl.

Tell me now, do they allow you to wear your erm.... Uniform....erm....at home?
............... and would you consider a (very slightly) older True Christian™ Blonde, Blue-eyed Lady?

YIC
Talitha

Yes, they do allow me to wear my uniform at home, I've earned the right to wear this outfit, it has had a long history of blood spilt and battles fought in the name of America and God. Why are you curious about this?

As for you, Blonde haired and Blue-eyed? I will most definitely consider you. As a True Christian™ I am quite sure you are only of the best the LORD has to offer and I would like to see any suggestions or Godly activity plans that you might have. For now I am still searching, but you will definitely be considered.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Brother V]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

As for you, Blonde haired and Blue-eyed? I will most definitely consider you. As a True Christian™ I am quite sure you are only of the best the LORD has to offer and I would like to see any suggestions or Godly activity plans that you might have. For now I am still searching, but you will definitely be considered.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

Sister Tali has some of the best pie around. Her pie is stuff of legend. If you manage to get ahold of her cherry, I assure you, it was the best around. The peach pie, also outstanding.

Her pie is outstanding with whipped cream on top. I normally make my own whipped cream, but she is a master of churning. It's been rumoured that she can get more whipped cream out of a cup, than most men can (hard to believe but true).

Her fruit pies are what she is known (mostly) for; but she also makes some delicious cream pies. (keep away from the chocolate). Also, when she's making tapioca, it's normally not a good thing.

Do I see a budding romance on the way?

YIC
V

[Talitha]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Sister Tali has some of the best pie around. Her pie is stuff of legend. If you manage to get ahold of her cherry, I assure you, it was the best around. The peach pie, also outstanding.

Her pie is outstanding with whipped cream on top. I normally make my own whipped cream, but she is a master of churning. It's been rumoured that she can get more whipped cream out of a cup, than most men can (hard to believe but true).

Her fruit pies are what she is known (mostly) for; but she also makes some delicious cream pies. (keep away from the chocolate). Also, when she's making tapioca, it's normally not a good thing.

Do I see a budding romance on the way?

YIC
V

(Blushes)
PASTOR V...... Really.

Don't forget, I'm also partial to some Dickens Cider right after Church on a Sunday.

PRAISE!!

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Sister Tali has some of the best pie around. Her pie is stuff of legend. If you manage to get ahold of her cherry, I assure you, it was the best around. The peach pie, also outstanding.

Her pie is outstanding with whipped cream on top. I normally make my own whipped cream, but she is a master of churning. It's been rumoured that she can get more whipped cream out of a cup, than most men can (hard to believe but true).

Her fruit pies are what she is known (mostly) for; but she also makes some delicious cream pies. (keep away from the chocolate). Also, when she's making tapioca, it's normally not a good thing.

Do I see a budding romance on the way?

YIC
V

Wow, that Cherry sure does sound amazing. I might have to dive into some of that pie myself. I love pie so much. I'm certain that if I could try her pie I would be quite smitten with her.

Thank you for the rest of that information Pastor V, I'll keep that in mind for future references.

And Sister, I just so have to have some Dickens I can give to you, whenever you'd like it of course. That cider is certainly a worthy and wonderful drink.

As for a budding romance? I don't know yet, we'll see. Only God and Jesus can guide us!

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Talitha]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Well Corey, you'll just have to come along to our little Church on Sunday.
I'll make sure Security allow you access to the afternoon Shin-dig.
It would be real nice if you could wear your Uniform .
There will be lots of True Christian™ Ladies there who enjoy a small Dickens in the afternoon. We usually have a fine old time passing one around.

Pastor V, do you remember the time when the Dickens Cider people delivered by Donkey?
What was it called now? The Dickens Cider Donkey? Or something like that?
I'm sure you'd remember.

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Well Corey, you'll just have to come along to our little Church on Sunday.
I'll make sure Security allow you access to the afternoon Shin-dig.
It would be real nice if you could wear your Uniform .
There will be lots of True Christian™ Ladies there who enjoy a small Dickens in the afternoon. We usually have a fine old time passing one around.

Pastor V, do you remember the time when the Dickens Cider people delivered by Donkey?
What was it called now? The Dickens Cider Donkey? Or something like that?
I'm sure you'd remember.

Well, it's only Thursday, so I should definitely be able to fly out there. I'll just use government resources to make it and I'll most certainly be wearing my uniform. I look forward to passing out Dickens and helping with the congregation. It should be a truly Godly and great experience!

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Hello Brother Warrior,

I would apply, but I am already betrothed to the Godly Pastor Zeke.


I keep waiting and waiting and waiting for this



and then this



Someday, GOD willing it will happen.....someday


Anyway, please do come out for Services like Sister Tali talked about. You will really enjoy yourself after services. I always HAVE to have a nice big helping of Dicken's on Sunday after Services. There is just something about watching Pastor Zeke in his sharp, taylored suites giving his sermon that makes me very thirsty.

So after services we can enjoy Sister Tali's homemade pie, Dicken's Cider and I will bring my famous rabbit casserole. GLORY! It's going to be so FUN!

I hope you are able to stay for a few days, that way Pastor Zeke and the other Brothers can take you into town so you can help Witness and Rebuke the strippers. The Brothers really look forward to it. Thier zeal for it is really very adorable. Pastor Zeke always gets worked up about something called a lap dance. He says he can help the strippers get closer to GOD and how it helps him come to JESUS.

Good luck with your search for a True Christian™ wife! The reason I asked you in your introduction thread if you were single is because I wanted to hook you up with my favorite Sister in Christ, Sister Tali. I see you have already met her! I think she would be perfect for you.

Hope to see you in Freehold SOON Brother Warrior!

Lve, Sister Thumper

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Hello Brother Warrior,

I would apply, but I am already betrothed to the Godly Pastor Zeke.


I keep waiting and waiting and waiting for this



and then this



Someday, GOD willing it will happen.....someday


Anyway, please do come out for Services like Sister Tali talked about. You will really enjoy yourself after services. I always HAVE to have a nice big helping of Dicken's on Sunday after Services. There is just something about watching Pastor Zeke in his sharp, taylored suites giving his sermon that makes me very thirsty.

So after services we can enjoy Sister Tali's homemade pie, Dicken's Cider and I will bring my famous rabbit casserole. GLORY! It's going to be so FUN!

I hope you are able to stay for a few days, that way Pastor Zeke and the Other Brothers can take you into town so you can help in Witness and Rebuke the strippers. The Brothers really look forward to it. There zeal for it is really very adorable. Pastor Zeke always gets worked up about something called a lap dance. He says he can help the strippers get closer to GOD and how it helps him come to JESUS.

Good luck with your search for a True Christian™ wife! The reason I asked you in your introduction thread if you were single is because I wanted to hook you up with my favorite Sister in Christ, Sister Tali. I see you have already met her! I think she would be perfect for you.

Hope to see you in Freehold SOON Brother Warrior!

Lve, Sister Thumper

Sister,

Thank you for your kind words! I'm looking forward to enjoying services this Sunday©. As for Sister Tali, I've spoken with her in private and she is amazing! I'm looking forward to becoming completely True Christian™, I feel as though I'm already on my way. I'm sure the brothers wouldn't mind inviting me to their stripper Witnessing and Rebuking© sessions. I too have heard of this lapdance; it most certainly would help any stripper find her way to God!

Sister, Pastor Ezekiel is an excellent husband for you indeed, I'm sure he will keep you in line with the teachings of Christ and help you become closer to God! I will most definitely be staying for a few days, I'm looking forward to partaking in all of the Landover Baptist Men's activities, like watching sports while the women clean the house and generally Praising Jesus©!

I'll see you there on Sunday© Sister!

[SUV]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Well! I never! Alas, I Fear I have arrived here much too late.

But in case there's still Hope - before I give you my 'vitals' Brother Warrior, tell me this: Are you in the habit of wearing those dark lenses at all times?

SUV (< that isn't a Cigarette. I'm very Certain it is something else.)

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Well! I never! Alas, I Fear I have arrived here much too late.

But in case there's still Hope - before I give you my 'vitals' Brother Warrior, tell me this: Are you in the habit of wearing those dark lenses at all times?

SUV (< that isn't a Cigarette. I'm very Certain it is something else.)

Only when I have to fire a 7.62mm round into the skull of mudlslime terrorist from 400 or more yards and the heathen and very hell-like sun in Iraq is beating down on my face. It helps me focus on what I'm here to do, send NON-BELIEVERS TO HELL!

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[SUV]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Only when I have to fire a 7.62mm round into the skull of mudlslime terrorist from 400 or more yards and the heathen and very hell-like sun in Iraq is beating down on my face. It helps me focus on what I'm here to do, send NON-BELIEVERS TO HELL!

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

Oh my GOD - I wonder if those other Sisters have left the room yet?

Now, Brother - let's see indeed if you are a KJV 1611 TRUE Christian!

Should it come to a choice between Sister Thumper's Cherry Pie and MY Home-made, Biblically-Correct DUNGBREAD.....which, I say, which would you choose?

Of course, since we are all typical Loving Christians, you'd always be Welcome to stop off at her Manse occasionally for a little Dickens.

PS Remember - JESUS shall be watching you as you type your reply