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  • #1

    Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

    Pastor Ezekiel or Reverend Osborne
    I am on the road to Davenport to pick up Emil.I just bought a double wide just out side of Freehold.Emil and I sure would like to get married on Friday or Saturday at the latest.We have been courting fer all most a month now.And I can hardly wait to meet him.
    Me and Emil was wondering if one of you would do us the honor of marring us.I know it is a short notice and all but I sure would be willing to make a very generous tithe to the LBC and pay you very well for your trouble.It sure would mean a lot to us,you people have been so nice to the both of us ,it just would not seem right without you .

    Oh by the way is there a good furniture store in Freehold? I need to buy a whole trailer full of stuff. and do they deliver on short notice?I was hoping that someone from the LBC owned a store.I just would like to keep the money in the hands of a good Christian.

    YIC Lola
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

    Hi there lola and congradulations if your looking for furniture for cheap have you checked out the Christian thrift store downtown me and my debbie we got allot of things there either that or i may soon have to get rid of a bunch of stuff that my debbie has in storage right now ill let you know once Pastor lets me move out of the garage into the servents wing of the main house.

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    • #3
      Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

      Hey lady, I can get chew any thing you want. You just say and I have here by morning.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

        Thanks for the offer Pedro and Jimmy.I want brand new stuff cause Emil and me are starting a new life .And Pardo I want stuff thats made right here in the USA

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        • #5
          Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

          What does Emil have to say about all this? I'm wondering who's driving this car...
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

            Why cant I find a nice Christan girl to marry... I had one but she died in police custody (fell down the stairs). Just my luck.
            Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup. (Psalm 11:6)

            GOD HATES FAGS
            Romans 1:18-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Timothy 1:8-11, Jude 7, etc
            DEATH PENALTY FOR FAGS

             WHITE AND PROUD

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            • #7
              Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
              What does Emil have to say about all this? I'm wondering who's driving this car...
              I am sorry Pastor for over stepping my bounds,Emil asked if I could help with some of the arrangements,forgive me I will always stand behind Emil in the future

              I dont know about a car but I gave Emil my new truck and all the money.He is well soon the head of the mobil home.

              Can you forgive me ?

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

                Lola dont fret none. Im down the hall in my room now and Marge bless her heart shes gone to bed. I just wanted to say thank you so much for cookin the finest meal I ever ate in my whole life. I feel like a rock star the way you been so nice to me and all. Im gonna go to bed now after I take a shower. Marge in room 288 two down from yours and Im two more down from hers in 292 so you know where to find me in the mornin. You call my room when ever your ready for us to come and have breakfast and well be there straight away. Oh Lola. You aint got any idea how pleased I am that Jesus Christ has brought us to gether. We must be pretty special to him if he sees fit to do this for us huh. Good night Lola!
                GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

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                • #9
                  Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

                  Miss Lola I didnt mean to hurt you I swear I didnt. I never done nothin like that ever before but every time you got me goin I couldnt stop right away. Lola are you ok? You was hurtin a little I could tell. I feel awful bad this mornin casue I aint sure but I think maybe me and you mighta sinned last night. Lola were that sex? How come if it was did you wanna do that before we was oficialy married anyhoo? And why werent one or two enough? Im kinda sore this mornin and maybe we did it too many times I just dont know. Boy howdy Im sure hungry and I hope you got a nice big breakfast ready pretty soon. I expect Marge will be oh hang on somebodys bangin hard on my door real hard gee! Be right back.
                  GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

                    Wel if that dont beat all Marge was outside my door pickin the tape off the edge a my door and shes mad as a wasp in a jar. She says we dont need a shaperone no more anyhoo and she left. I wonder why she said that and why she up and left like that. Boy shes mad. She said good luck with that tart and she was gone just like that. Lola I never had a tart before aint that like a little pie? But never mind though I like pie like yours and no other will ever be sweet enough for me for sure.

                    Dear Sweet Jesus I hope we didnt have sex last night cause if we did then we sinned about six times and you know we aint been sinnin kinda folks at all. If we sinned we are so sorry and I know we have enough tithe to smooth things over between us and you anyhoo. Thank you again Jesus. Lord I sure do love you!
                    GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

                      Lola Im awful hungry aint you got breakfast ready yet? My stomachs startin to think my throats been cut.
                      GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

                        Come on over,eggs biscuits and sausage gravy is ready

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Pastor Ezekiel were Getting Married

                          Originally posted by Brother Hank View Post
                          Why cant I find a nice Christan girl to marry... I had one but she died in police custody (fell down the stairs). Just my luck.
                          That's a shame, Brother Hank.
                          "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." -- favorite KJV verse ever!!! Our LORD is so awesome in everything he does.

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