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  • Betty Lambskin
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
    I haven't had sex in about three months so I think I'm a virgin, again. I'd be happy to meet some available single Christian womens who are interested in an older man. I can still lift a bag of cement, but only for the right woman.
    Brother Nob, praise Jesus for your blessings. I rejoice for you, and yet am sad in my heart because my husband left me. He told me he was blogging for Christ, but in reality he was chatting on Twatter (sp?) with a homosegsual in Arkansas. Lord help us in these end of days! The devil is working overtime to try and mess up our perfect walks with the Lord!

    I too have not "known" another man in many many months. I guess it doesnt matter, I am getting SOOO close to Christ! I know him better and better every night it seems! Sometimes when Im lying in my bed alone at night, I feel that Jesus is there with me - like I could reach out and stroke his blonde beard, and touch the hem of his garment, rest my head on his sweet smooth bosom. HE IS ALL THE BRIDEGROOM I COULD EVER NEED. The lord works in mysterious ways!

    Leave a comment:


  • Nobar King
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    I haven't had sex in about three months so I think I'm a virgin, again. I'd be happy to meet some available single Christian womens who are interested in an older man. I can still lift a bag of cement, but only for the right woman.

    Leave a comment:


  • Warrior of God
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by Betty Lambskin View Post
    I have since confessed and prayed with my husband over the 'dip' dream. After a good beating with his abomination-staff (a little tool we patented) and a mild to moderate stoning, I feel repulsed at the mere sight of a man carrying soccer balls.

    Have any other TCs struggled with lust?

    How relieved you must be that your husband is such a forgiving man, and so gentle hearted.

    You dream a dream fit for only a debased harlot (using dip in such a way even flouts God's bountiful provision for our sustenance).
    Blasphemy atop of wanton harlotry.

    Had you faced a man such as I who benefits from the epiphany of the Messiah's gift of a mission, you would be paying and repenting daily,
    no, several times a day.
    You need to be reminded regularly of the harvest of your whorish ways.

    I have struggled with lust...such is the mission given to me.
    I fight lust every time I encounter it in some slut of satan who seeks to revel in its embrace.
    and Praise him, I have never been defeated.
    I have pounded each and every one of those harlots into a state of Grace where they praised His name and thanked the Lord for the gift of redemption He enabled me to wield over their sin filled lives.
    You should drop to your knees now, and every spare moment you have , and seek further forgiveness...
    I hope you colour with true shame every time you see a bowl of dip...
    I suspect you are still a wanton and base creature who needs true atonement.

    Leave a comment:


  • Window-Lickky
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by vestal_mastebation View Post
    Show your support for terrorism by dipping your celery sticks in hummus...

    Armaments 5:20-23
    Thus the Lord God looketh down on that tree known as the celery tree and cursed it for its' iniquity. "Henceforth, he who dippeth any stick from this celery tree in vegetable dips shall be my enemy. I shall strike down upon thee with heavenly force and you will know that I am the Lord!"
    Armaments 5:24
    And thy Lord decree that use of the Hidden Valley's Ranch in adultery dreams shalt be punishable by refused entrance to thee's imaginary pearly gates.

    Leave a comment:


  • vestal_mastecation
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by Karmic Retribution View Post
    Some celery in some RANCH might be good..
    Show your support for terrorism by dipping your celery sticks in hummus...

    Armaments 5:20-23
    Thus the Lord God looketh down on that tree known as the celery tree and cursed it for its' iniquity. "Henceforth, he who dippeth any stick from this celery tree in vegetable dips shall be my enemy. I shall strike down upon thee with heavenly force and you will know that I am the Lord!"

    Leave a comment:


  • Karmic Retribution
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by vestal_mastebation View Post
    Wow! I didn't know that TCs took illicit drugs...
    I just indulge in a bit of hummus dip now and then.

    Some celery in some RANCH might be good..

    Leave a comment:


  • vestal_mastecation
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by Betty Lambskin View Post
    a mild to moderate stoning
    Wow! I didn't know that TCs took illicit drugs...
    I just indulge in a bit of hummus dip now and then.

    Leave a comment:


  • Joo
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by Captain James T. Kirk View Post
    Even if I could be a born again virgin, with how quickly I get chicks, it wouldn't last long! LOL! In the three minutes I have to wait between posts I could probably score.
    ...Words fail me.

    Leave a comment:


  • Captain James T. Kirk
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Even if I could be a born again virgin, with how quickly I get chicks, it wouldn't last long! LOL! In the three minutes I have to wait between posts I could probably score.

    Leave a comment:


  • Andrew Shaw
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by Betty Lambskin View Post
    I have since confessed and prayed with my husband over the 'dip' dream. After a good beating with his abomination-staff (a little tool we patented) and a mild to moderate stoning, I feel repulsed at the mere sight of a man carrying soccer balls.

    Have any other TCs struggled with lust?

    Thats the kind of thing the DOF looks for.. religeous related violence..im really speechless by how...ugh..yeah im speecless so i dont know what to say but sorry.

    Leave a comment:


  • Betty Lambskin
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    I have since confessed and prayed with my husband over the 'dip' dream. After a good beating with his abomination-staff (a little tool we patented) and a mild to moderate stoning, I feel repulsed at the mere sight of a man carrying soccer balls.

    Have any other TCs struggled with lust?

    Leave a comment:


  • Brother Temperance
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by vestal_mastebation View Post
    What flavor vegetable dip?

    I have a tub of some hippy-made hummus in my fridge that needs using up.
    Why do you support terrorism?
    Originally posted by Karmic Retribution View Post
    Andrew, it matters because he is not a true follower of the bible, does it not also say that Jesus loves everyone? Yes it does.

    Does the religion say to not judge others, that god himself should be the only one to judge them? Yes it does.
    Leviticus 19:15 Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty: but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

    We are commanded to judge our neighbours, without respecting poor people.
    1 Corinthians 2:15 But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.

    I am spiritual, so I may judge all things. There you go.

    Leave a comment:


  • Karmic Retribution
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by Andrew Shaw View Post
    Oh crapes..
    your right sorry about that man! i had forgotten who it was that said that..my apologies.
    You were confusing me for a bit too. Lol. I got lost like..

    "Is he talking about the soccer coach being a follower, or is he talking about...Wait..What?!"

    So. Back to topic.

    Is being smothered in ranch dressing by a youth soccer coach adultery?

    Leave a comment:


  • Andrew Shaw
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by Karmic Retribution View Post
    ...WHAT?! I meant...NOT THE COACH...I meant the one asking if he was african-american. Stooge.
    Oh crapes..
    your right sorry about that man! i had forgotten who it was that said that..my apologies.

    Leave a comment:


  • Karmic Retribution
    replied
    Re: CAN A MAN BE A BORN AGAIN VIRGIN?

    Originally posted by Andrew Shaw View Post
    well it dident say anything about him judgeing someone..but im sure hes done it before but that still has nothing to do with him being of african descent
    ...WHAT?! I meant...NOT THE COACH...I meant the one asking if he was african-american. Stooge.

    Leave a comment:

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