Need a wife

[Dwayne DeKalb]

The courts won't let me have my kids back because I am single. So i need a wife ASAP.
I am a farmer and have considerable acreage. I am an alcoholic but am sober now. I used to be a True Christian, but I am not now. However I will be tolerant of your beliefs.
Thank you

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Need a wife

The courts won't let me have my kids back because I am single. So i need a wife ASAP.
I am a farmer and have considerable acreage. I am an alcoholic but am sober now. I used to be a True Christian, but I am not now. However I will be tolerant of your beliefs.
Thank you

It's not possible to fall from grace once Saved.
You were never a True Christian, only a drunken pretender.
And we won't be tolerant of your beliefs however, since they damn people to hell.

And anyone here agreeing to be your wife will be banned or moderated, effective immediatly.
(And any church-member doing so will be taken to Bobby-Joe for a stern rebuke.)
We will not tolerate such extremely unholy unions to be formed on this forum!

[Miss Maisie]

Re: Need a wife

Oh, my word. This Dwayne hippy person goes to far. Next thing, he'll be posting in Hitoshi's thread about wanting to get to know Hitoshi a lot better. He seems like one of those queer types and as for Hitoshi, I'm sure he done had relations with any interested party in the past.

You're most wise, Mr Seeker. This thread could turn into an unholy union real quick. And God don't like homers, and I'm sure God don't like hippies, and Mr Dwayne seems fixin' to be both!

[Deaner]

Re: Need a wife

So i need a wife
I am a farmer and have considerable acreage. I am an alcoholic but am sober now. I used to be a True Christian, but I am not now.

Sorry Dwayne; Christ held his hand out to you in friendship and you slapped it away. You don't have a hope in hell of landing a good, Christian woman.

Your only hope is a secular woman. They're not hard to find. They think that if you have a penis you know how to fix everything on the planet. When you plead ignorance they make veiled comments about your masculinity then start flirting with the neighbour.

You dug your hole and now you're going in it Dwayne. Good luck.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Need a wife

I am a farmer and have considerable acreage.
Thank you

Just like you sex-obsessed liberals to constantly yammer on about the size of your tallywhacker. WE DON'T CARE! GET YOUR MIND OFF OF YOUR WEINER AND ONTO JESUS!

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Need a wife

The courts won't let me have my kids back because I am single. So i need a wife ASAP.
I am a farmer and have considerable acreage. I am an alcoholic but am sober now. I used to be a True Christian, but I am not now. However I will be tolerant of your beliefs.
Thank you

Sorry Dwayne, no sympathy from noddy! Bad move! You are not going to get your kids back, and you won't be getting a wife either. You will be going to Hell when you die. Here's hoping you like it hot, loser!

[Dwayne DeKalb]

Re: Need a wife

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, Call (xxx) xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.


I got this response!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Need a wife

I thought you were still going out with Sarah. Did she dump you because of this hippie phase you're going through?

She's a good woman, even if she has a bit of a foul mouth and can't hold her liquor so well. Here she is auditioning for a part in "High-caliber babes 3":

Fine woman. Your removing yourself from God's love and protection is costing you a lot, isn't it?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Need a wife

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, Call (xxx) xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.


I got this response!

Obviously you cut and pasted an entry from a personals ad.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Need a wife

Obviously you cut and pasted an entry from a personals ad.

And I bet if she was that good-looking she wouldn't need to use a personal ad..
Only unsaved people who use personal ads are the ugly ones.
Or prostitues..

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Need a wife

I bet if she was good-looking she wouldn't be a tar baby.

I'm not a racist.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Need a wife

I bet if she was good-looking she wouldn't be a tar baby.

I'm not a racist.

No, of course you're not, dear Sister Virginia!