[Brother Temperance]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

That doesn't explain it! By your theory, we poop pure calories then, that can't be true, As it's clear that there is more to poop than just calories and I am not impressed at the direction this reply has taken. Are you happy, knowing the images you've caused in my mind right before my tea break??

If waste matter is produced in Heaven, there is no doubt at all about the fact that we will have invisible angels to carry it away and dump it over the heads of sinners such as yourself.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Ms. Von Heelclicker, I am tired of your Devilish drivel. Our friend Tammy is in dire need of assistance, yet you seem to tie up our pastors with your M problem! Tammy has also informed me she is a diabetic and is in dire need of insulin syringes. But this thread has been side tracked by your problems not Tammys, so I doubt she will get the help she needs!

Why does everyone keep saying this has something to do with an 'M' problem? How could it?? I'm just asking HOW something which you say happens every day in 'hell' could possibly happen! And so far, NO ONE seems to be able to answer that!
But I'm sorry, Glendora, I didn't mean to derail your thread.

PS Tammy says she would like a few extra baby spoons so she'll always have a clean one for her precious child.

I must confess myself surprised you seem so willing to help out a convicted drug addict felon. Has she bribed you agreed to tithe, then?

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Ms. Von Heelclicker, I am tired of your Devilish drivel. Our friend Tammy is in dire need of assistance, yet you seem to tie up our pastors with your M problem! Tammy has also informed me she is a diabetic and is in dire need of insulin syringes. But this thread has been side tracked by your problems not Tammys, so I doubt she will get the help she needs!

PS Tammy says she would like a few extra baby spoons so she'll always have a clean one for her precious child.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

My word, but you're insistent on an answer to that one. Did you really come to God's favorite site on the interwebs to find fresh material for the "M" sin? Sometimes you unsaved trash just amaze me.

It's just that you can't claim something will be happening every day in a place you believe exists and then not explain how it's done! The fact that you CAN'T speaks volumes in itself!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

And you still haven't explained the whole sodomy thing, how one being could sodomize billions of people at once!

My word, but you're insistent on an answer to that one. Did you really come to God's favorite site on the interwebs to find fresh material for the "M" sin? Sometimes you unsaved trash just amaze me.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

I have already explained it in another thread. There are no calories in Heaven, so my etherial strawberries in cream will wisp away like clouds after I eat them. My heavenly body, being a temple, will not require cleaning. I won't study the Bible 20 hours a day any more or worry about sin. I shall never want for anything again. And I will laugh and laugh as all of the pug-ugly virgins who have saved themselves in nunneries are cast into the pit to service the mudslums there.

That doesn't explain it! By your theory, we poop pure calories then, that can't be true, As it's clear that there is more to poop than just calories and I am not impressed at the direction this reply has taken. Are you happy, knowing the images you've caused in my mind right before my tea break??

And you still haven't explained the whole sodomy thing, how one being could sodomize billions of people at once!

I shan't dignify that with a reply.

*snicker*

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Those are all valid questions! If there really is a heaven or hell as you claim, and it really is like you claim, then how is it possible? How do you explain it? How do these things which you claim will happen every day in heaven and hell possibly happen????

I have already explained it in another thread. There are no calories in Heaven, so my etherial strawberries in cream will wisp away like clouds after I eat them. My heavenly body, being a temple, will not require cleaning. I won't study the Bible 20 hours a day any more or worry about sin. I shall never want for anything again. And I will laugh and laugh as all of the pug-ugly virgins who have saved themselves in nunneries are cast into the pit to service the mudslums there.


That's Jesus? I thought that was some brat on the train.

I shan't dignify that with a reply.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

You should spend your time wondering how to save your eternal soul instead of how Pastor Pistle might evacuate his bowels in Heaven. Your mind is firmly fixated on satanic thoughts like the size and staying power of satan's tool, lezbeanism, monkey worship and Pastoral doo-doo logs.

Those are all valid questions! If there really is a heaven or hell as you claim, and it really is like you claim, then how is it possible? How do you explain it? How do these things which you claim will happen every day in heaven and hell possibly happen????

Can't you hear Jesus weeping?

That's Jesus? I thought that was some brat on the train.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

You horrible old meanie!
That was such a wonderful vision, and you had to go and ruin it like that! A question with that. You keep telling the heathens like me that Satan will be sodomizing us for all eternity. Seeing as, if hell existed, billions of people would be in it, how would he manage to sodomize everyone all at once?


And another question there. Seeing as the bible seems to mention that when a person goes to 'heaven' they have their downstairs removed, with all the 'feasting', how exactly would you go to the bathroom? Out your belly or ears? Just curious.

You should spend your time wondering how to save your eternal soul instead of how Pastor Pistle might evacuate his bowels in Heaven. Your mind is firmly fixated on satanic thoughts like the size and staying power of satan's tool, lezbeanism, monkey worship and Pastoral doo-doo logs.

Can't you hear Jesus weeping?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Not at all. Satan will spend eternity reading the Bible to you and giving an extra 'shove' whenever he mentions something the Bible told you to do but you ignored it.

You horrible old meanie!
That was such a wonderful vision, and you had to go and ruin it like that! A question with that. You keep telling the heathens like me that Satan will be sodomizing us for all eternity. Seeing as, if hell existed, billions of people would be in it, how would he manage to sodomize everyone all at once?

In the nonce, I will be eating strawberries in cream and enjoying my forever in the clouds where calories don't exist.

And another question there. Seeing as the bible seems to mention that when a person goes to 'heaven' they have their downstairs removed, with all the 'feasting', how exactly would you go to the bathroom? Out your belly or ears? Just curious.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

So I would never have to hear another preachy xtian, ever again?
SWEET!!!!!!!!!!

Not at all. Satan will spend eternity reading the Bible to you and giving an extra 'shove' whenever he mentions something the Bible told you to do but you ignored it. In the nonce, I will be eating strawberries in cream and enjoying my forever in the clouds where calories don't exist.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Speaking as how you would/ or did do it?

Quit projecting onto me, BJ. Just because you have strange urges towards pillows.

Here we go with the never ending urge from women to have tallywackers so they can penetrate men. Yes, Rachael, you're another gay guy stuck in a strait woman's body. We've heard this all before.

Umm......there is absolutely NO logic in that at all BJ.
Besides the fact that whatever you say, being male would be horrible. I don't know how you guys can walk around with those things down below....not to mention all the guys I see that can't seem to keep their fingers.....oh, never mind, that sentence was going nowhere good.

Hell is forever, so once you're in Hell there'll be no point in witnessing to you.

So I would never have to hear another preachy xtian, ever again?
SWEET!!!!!!!!!!

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

And I imagine the next day would be in hell's cinema watching 'the sermons of Pastor Ezekiel, live'? old

You should be so lucky!

Hell is forever, so once you're in Hell there'll be no point in witnessing to you.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Men can't have kids. Operation or no. I'm betting that he/she probably paid someone to have those kids for her, then stuffed a pillow into her shirt to make herself look pregnant.

Speaking as how you would/ or did do it?

Science can do a lot, but not that yet. Actually, I wish they could! It'd be good for men to appreciate the joy of having something the size of a watermelon squeezed out of.....never mind.

Here we go with the never ending urge from women to have tallywackers so they can penetrate men. Yes, Rachael, you're another gay guy stuck in a strait woman's body. We've heard this all before.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Yes that was sick. Why do you think 'Doris' is doing 20 to 40 years in prison? 'He/She' probably used some that sicko so called science stuff you are so proud of have those kids.

Men can't have kids. Operation or no. I'm betting that he/she probably paid someone to have those kids for her, then stuffed a pillow into her shirt to make herself look pregnant.
Science can do a lot, but not that yet. Actually, I wish they could! It'd be good for men to appreciate the joy of having something the size of a watermelon squeezed out of.....never mind.