Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Yes, they don't call it the missionary position for nothing. Adventures in Missions points out one of the fringe benefits of being a missionary: lots of impressionable, obedient adolescent girls from cultures that have no concept of secular inventions like "Age of Consent" or "Statutory Rape":



It will take a lot of work to turn them from little devils into little angels:



But if you take it like a man and keep steady hammering away, they will see the light.


For complete scripture on this issue, read this.

[sinner]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

¡Viva Méjico! The best part is that when you're done fornicating with the unsaved heathen, you can put her in the trunk of your car & bring her over to West Virginia where she can become your cook and maid.

___________________________





"I had a student ask me, 'Could the savior you believe in save Osama bin Laden?' Of course, we know the blood of Jesus Christ can save him, and then he must be executed." - Rev. Jerry Fallwell

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

when you're done fornicating

It's not fornificating if she's not married, or if her father is dead/doesn't know. Fathers and husbands are the victims of fornification - no victims, no sin.

I would tell you about Brother Nobar's experience as a missionary, but I don't know how much of it he wishes to become public. Instead I'll just post this picture of when he got back:



Yes, he got a lot souls over there and he saved the heck out of them!

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

Where's his hat? Or do I want to know?

[MrMannnly]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

Truth be told, I myself have considered this sort of business as a means to find my helpmeet. Lord knows that I need all the help I can get with cooking, as I've been known to overcook my "Hungry Man's" microwave dinners I however will keep the Lord's Will in mind, and trust that He will bring the right woman into my life when the timing is right. It just gets frustrating after years and years of near-misses: why it was just last year when I met Missy at her youth group, but her liberal parents denied us our right to get married, at least until she finishes high school and moves out. I'm not sure I can wait that long, retirement is only a few years away

But I will be strong in the Lord's Perfect Will, and trust that He will soon bring me my virgin love Until then, it's more take-out pizza!

[goodgirl12]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

i feel the same way! even tho I'm 17 i know that it don't matter 'cause i know that men are smarter then me so if a man wants me i have no right to say no!!!

[LaQrundrellia]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

Alot of the mens at my church be marrying them lil Oriental girls cus they say white women ain't obedient enough no more.

They say that each time they wive's fed a meal they feel gratitude towards they husband as unto The Lord.

[Obedient Wife]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

Alot of the mens at my church be marrying them lil Oriental girls cus they say white women ain't obedient enough no more.

They say that each time they wive's fed a meal they feel gratitude towards they husband as unto The Lord.

That's awful that the men of your church are forced to marry oriental girls, what has happened to all the good, obedient, and God fearing pure white girls at your church?

[LaQrundrellia]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

That's awful that the men of your church are forced to marry oriental girls, what has happened to all the good, obedient, and God fearing pure white girls at your church?

I don't know, but they ain't "tight enough" according to one boy, tight is slang for "cool."

[Obedient Wife]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

I don't know, but they ain't "tight enough" according to one boy, tight is slang for "cool."

Since I am white I am not really familiar with real words like 'tight' having a slang meaning. I only speak American English as God intended.

When my husband says I'm not as tight as I used to be before having kids, does he mean I'm not as cool as I used to be?

I just hope I'm tight enough for Jesus.

[LaQrundrellia]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

Since I am white I am not really familiar with real words like 'tight' having a slang meaning. I only speak American English as God intended.

When my husband says I'm not as tight as I used to be before having kids, does he mean I'm not as cool as I used to be?

I just hope I'm tight enough for Jesus.

Your husband just sayin that you need to get out there and do some jogging for the Lord, is all.

Then you be cool for him. Physical excercise is cool for us womens that don't bend over and pick rice out the patty all day long.

[Obedient Wife]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

I do need to exercise more to look better for my husband. I just hope I can be as tight as he would like. I will look into these kegel exercises.

I'm surprised to be getting advice from a nigress but thank you!

[LaQrundrellia]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

I do need to exercise more to look better for my husband. I just hope I can be as tight as he would like. I will look into these kegel exercises.

I'm surprised to be getting advice from a nigress but thank you!

Oh, we darkies is dumb but we know how to please our master as unto the Lord.

9 Exhort slaves to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, 10 not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.


Titus 2:9

[Obedient Wife]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

Oh, we darkies is dumb but we know how to please our master as unto the Lord.

9 Exhort slaves to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, 10 not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.


Titus 2:9

If you ever make your way to Iowa I think you'd find being a slave on my husband's farm would bring you closer to your heritage as a cotton picking slave and closer to Jesus!

[bindar dundat]

Re: Frustrated men: find true love as a Missionary!

I don't know, but they ain't "tight enough" according to one boy, tight is slang for "cool."

Sadly, that boy is referring to the excessive slack in said white girl's cooter flap.

On an unrelated note... missionary work is indeed one of the greatest experiences a true Christian can encounter. You can travel the world and see the (once) beautiful lands that embraced Jesus and see the ruins and sacrifices of his many ardent followers. You also have the opportunity to save the souls of the ignorant who had you not stumbled into their lives, would gladly, but naively, burn in hell.

If you want to go on a mission to plow brown girls, I should inform you the likelihood that you will find a "tight enough" girl are indeed, highly unlikely.