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Good day friends in Christ.
Today’s message is about breaking up with a non Christian girlfriend. Break ups are always hard for people but it might help if you understand that your so called Christian girlfriend is not what she claims to be.
Let’s examine this. Well first of all if she is Jewish or Punjabi or worships the great monkey god of south Bali, this does not apply and you can happily dump her and all her emotional baggage without a second thought. Try to put those nights of passion behind you and step forward.
You do not need to tell her anything other than goodbye and so long ducks. Short and sweet and to the point. Pagans do well unless they are voodoo pagans or witches and that could be dicey but normally speaking they grow their armpit hair long and go live on a lesbian commune and become the partner of some sododyke butch lesbian called “Spike”.
If fact you can use your very real Christianity to dump them. How handy is that? Remember though the real Christian is a Baptist or at the very least he is protestant.
If you are a Baptist or protestant and you are in a relationship with someone who is not, you should get out of it. And if you have already become tired of her but lack an excuse or you are too good for her and don’t want to hurt her then use your religion.
EXAMPLE:
“My religion is keeping us apart and I love God too much to offend him any more by dating you.”
It’s clean and simple and true.
A lot of girls will tell you that they are Catholic, Unitarian or Mormon or even Moslem…You probably won’t have to worry about Mormons or JW because they are as rigid in their misbegotten beliefs as they think we are. It’s okay if they think what they think and that’s another angle to play if the first doesn’t get the required results.
Example:
“Dear your religion beheads people like me and I just can’t see this continuing.”
What is she going to do? Deny it? lol.
or
and this is a good one….but if you used it, you would have to affect a rapturous look on your face.
“Joseph Smith appeared to me in a vision and he was carrying tablets of gold and he pointed at me…(sob a little from the overwhelmingness of it all at this point) and wants me to become a missionary and he said I had to live five years alone and celibate with no female contact.”
Well even Brigham Young would back that statement up. For you numpties, Joseph Smith and Brigham Young are the founders of the Mormon cult.
Well no good Mormon girl is going to thumb her nose at J. Smith and for a few years she will brag of your vision until she hears in the grapevine you married someone else.
It’s a little harder though with the other ones…Catholic girls are always being pushed to marry a good provider that can give lots of kids. We’re not sure what kind of witchcraft practises the Unitarians have but they seem eager to go out with anything in pants. they are usually frizzy haired with buck teeth so you are probably not going to be too attracted to them but there is always some geek in our faith who does not know he deserves better.
You should also be warned that a lot of lesbians like the liberality of this “faith”. There’s a good chance your present girl friend has had lesbian experiences. Bisexuality is rife in some church groups and Buddhism and Unitarianism are the worst.
The Catholic girl though could be harder to break up with because quite likely you have already experienced with her what the marriage bed should have revealed. Just try to remember that if she puts out for you then she has put out for everyone. She just didn’t discover a talent for it when she met you. Fornication is also a sin and the Catholic most likely lured you into that state of sin.
With the Catholic girl, the fact that she has already acted like a whore should make it easy for you to call her the Whore of Babylon. You can read about the Whore mainly in Revelations if you are interested and in allegation elsewhere. We believe the whore is Rome and the Catholic church…seven headed beast mentioned in Revelations are the seven hills of Rome.
So use that…blame it on her.
Christian Scientists…these are tricky. They have that whole Christian thing in their name so it sort of fools one at first. Plus they are a right strange mixture of Christianity, new age stuff and everything else not tied to something else. Dumping these are easy if you just remember one thing. She is not looking for a life partner but a convert or someone she can program. They are most easily recognised because they are outside of downtown modern buildings insisting you need a reading. If you have become one…you may have to lie. Claim to be higher up their ladder or better yet have a vision and in this vision God appeared as a southern Bali monkey God and told you to dump the loser because you were already “ONE”. Say it mysteriously enough and the silly cow will probably pay your rent after you kick her out for half a year.
The list goes on and on but all you have to know is that you do not have to burden yourself with someone who doesn’t make the grade. You require a nice chaste Christian Baptist to carry your seed so you can accomplish all you need to accomplish.
If you are the soft hearted type like myself the other kind people here at Landover you may be tempted to be gentle. You may want to let her go as easy as you can. Maybe dinner and over soft candlelight you pull one of your well practised lines. It probably doesn’t hurt to be sad faced or look unhappy. We have found that women do not do well when one is grinning and they may try to ruin the paint on your car on their way out. This is also the number one way they dump all your clothes out of a window because they foolishly forget that you have been paying the bills. Try at all costs to avoid her leaving before you. You could even put a tear into the corner of your eye and ask her plaintively…”Do you mind if I am alone for a moment or two…I just find this so hard and I need some fresh air” Then run like a scalded dog to your car and race home and change the locks!
Try to be gentle…the thick cow doesn’t understand why you are dumping her but dump her you must. If you are just tired of her endless babble that’s also a good reason.
Today’s message is about breaking up with a non Christian girlfriend. Break ups are always hard for people but it might help if you understand that your so called Christian girlfriend is not what she claims to be.
Let’s examine this. Well first of all if she is Jewish or Punjabi or worships the great monkey god of south Bali, this does not apply and you can happily dump her and all her emotional baggage without a second thought. Try to put those nights of passion behind you and step forward.
You do not need to tell her anything other than goodbye and so long ducks. Short and sweet and to the point. Pagans do well unless they are voodoo pagans or witches and that could be dicey but normally speaking they grow their armpit hair long and go live on a lesbian commune and become the partner of some sododyke butch lesbian called “Spike”.
If fact you can use your very real Christianity to dump them. How handy is that? Remember though the real Christian is a Baptist or at the very least he is protestant.
If you are a Baptist or protestant and you are in a relationship with someone who is not, you should get out of it. And if you have already become tired of her but lack an excuse or you are too good for her and don’t want to hurt her then use your religion.
EXAMPLE:
“My religion is keeping us apart and I love God too much to offend him any more by dating you.”
It’s clean and simple and true.
A lot of girls will tell you that they are Catholic, Unitarian or Mormon or even Moslem…You probably won’t have to worry about Mormons or JW because they are as rigid in their misbegotten beliefs as they think we are. It’s okay if they think what they think and that’s another angle to play if the first doesn’t get the required results.
Example:
“Dear your religion beheads people like me and I just can’t see this continuing.”
What is she going to do? Deny it? lol.
or
and this is a good one….but if you used it, you would have to affect a rapturous look on your face.
“Joseph Smith appeared to me in a vision and he was carrying tablets of gold and he pointed at me…(sob a little from the overwhelmingness of it all at this point) and wants me to become a missionary and he said I had to live five years alone and celibate with no female contact.”
Well even Brigham Young would back that statement up. For you numpties, Joseph Smith and Brigham Young are the founders of the Mormon cult.
Well no good Mormon girl is going to thumb her nose at J. Smith and for a few years she will brag of your vision until she hears in the grapevine you married someone else.
It’s a little harder though with the other ones…Catholic girls are always being pushed to marry a good provider that can give lots of kids. We’re not sure what kind of witchcraft practises the Unitarians have but they seem eager to go out with anything in pants. they are usually frizzy haired with buck teeth so you are probably not going to be too attracted to them but there is always some geek in our faith who does not know he deserves better.
You should also be warned that a lot of lesbians like the liberality of this “faith”. There’s a good chance your present girl friend has had lesbian experiences. Bisexuality is rife in some church groups and Buddhism and Unitarianism are the worst.
The Catholic girl though could be harder to break up with because quite likely you have already experienced with her what the marriage bed should have revealed. Just try to remember that if she puts out for you then she has put out for everyone. She just didn’t discover a talent for it when she met you. Fornication is also a sin and the Catholic most likely lured you into that state of sin.
With the Catholic girl, the fact that she has already acted like a whore should make it easy for you to call her the Whore of Babylon. You can read about the Whore mainly in Revelations if you are interested and in allegation elsewhere. We believe the whore is Rome and the Catholic church…seven headed beast mentioned in Revelations are the seven hills of Rome.
So use that…blame it on her.
Christian Scientists…these are tricky. They have that whole Christian thing in their name so it sort of fools one at first. Plus they are a right strange mixture of Christianity, new age stuff and everything else not tied to something else. Dumping these are easy if you just remember one thing. She is not looking for a life partner but a convert or someone she can program. They are most easily recognised because they are outside of downtown modern buildings insisting you need a reading. If you have become one…you may have to lie. Claim to be higher up their ladder or better yet have a vision and in this vision God appeared as a southern Bali monkey God and told you to dump the loser because you were already “ONE”. Say it mysteriously enough and the silly cow will probably pay your rent after you kick her out for half a year.
The list goes on and on but all you have to know is that you do not have to burden yourself with someone who doesn’t make the grade. You require a nice chaste Christian Baptist to carry your seed so you can accomplish all you need to accomplish.
If you are the soft hearted type like myself the other kind people here at Landover you may be tempted to be gentle. You may want to let her go as easy as you can. Maybe dinner and over soft candlelight you pull one of your well practised lines. It probably doesn’t hurt to be sad faced or look unhappy. We have found that women do not do well when one is grinning and they may try to ruin the paint on your car on their way out. This is also the number one way they dump all your clothes out of a window because they foolishly forget that you have been paying the bills. Try at all costs to avoid her leaving before you. You could even put a tear into the corner of your eye and ask her plaintively…”Do you mind if I am alone for a moment or two…I just find this so hard and I need some fresh air” Then run like a scalded dog to your car and race home and change the locks!
Try to be gentle…the thick cow doesn’t understand why you are dumping her but dump her you must. If you are just tired of her endless babble that’s also a good reason.
), and then this broken-hearted person will go straight to the fiery pits of Hell where Satan and his imps will "make love" to him/her.
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