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  • Helpme
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • May 2008
    • 9

    #1

    I need a girl to get me on the right track.

    I am a 19 year old white Jesus worshipping male.

    Im recovering from unholy faggot thoughts.

    I need a good God Loving girl to stop me from thinking about guys.

    My ex girlfriend tried pressuring me to do sinful sexual acts. So im looking for a conservative virgin, but big boobs are preferred.
  • Marshall
    Righteous and Patriotic
    Highest body count at the VFW
    True Christian™
    • Oct 2006
    • 3322

    #2
    Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

    While a womans outward beauty is important and no one wants an overweight flat chested lady, perhaps you should address your un natural homofaggot urges before you start asking for dates.
    God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.

    Comment

    • Eugene Hackwith
      Farmer for Christ™
      True Christian™
      • Jan 2008
      • 736

      #3
      Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

      Originally posted by Marshall View Post
      While a womans outward beauty is important and no one wants an overweight flat chested lady, perhaps you should address your un natural homofaggot urges before you start asking for dates.
      Agreed. There is no sense in getting involved with a woman when you are still a homer. If you never take care of your sodomistic urges, you'll find yourself in a loveless, sham of a marriage. No good Christian woman deserves that, and you deserve better than to be a homerfag.
      A baby is a human being, not a stem cell!

      Psalm 139:19-20
      Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
      For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.

      Comment

      • Helpme
        Unsaved trash
        Under Investigation
        • May 2008
        • 9

        #4
        Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

        yeah, thats true.

        I just need to have a girl to think about instead of charles.
        If i find a good girl then maybe i will realize what i was missing.

        Comment

        • Remy Lebeau
          LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire
          President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association
          Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 2058

          #5
          Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

          Originally posted by Helpme View Post
          yeah, thats true.

          I just need to have a girl to think about instead of charles.
          If i find a good girl then maybe i will realize what i was missing.
          We can't have you giving a good decent woman AIDS, now can we?

          You need to get rid of your perverse unnatural urges first so that your AIDS can clear up and then, and only then, will you be suitable for a good woman. You didn't really think we'd endorse you sticking your little tallywhacker(all smeared in Charles' feces, blood, and rectal issue) into a godly baby oven did you?
          Master of Godly Debating

          Latest Conquest:Sacred Heart

          Debate Record
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          Lastest Debates:
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          86 Victories
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          Past Victories (Archive):
          Uppity Atheist Pagan Witch finally keels over and DIES. America Wins Again!!!
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          Comment

          • Helpme
            Unsaved trash
            Under Investigation
            • May 2008
            • 9

            #6
            Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

            Originally posted by Remy Lebeau View Post
            We can't have you giving a good decent woman AIDS, now can we?

            You need to get rid of your perverse unnatural urges first so that your AIDS can clear up and then, and only then, will you be suitable for a good woman. You didn't really think we'd endorse you sticking your little tallywhacker(all smeared in Charles' feces, blood, and rectal issue) into a godly baby oven did you?
            what are you talking about? ive never had any kind of sex, ofcourse. I have only had thoughts about the comfort of a man (charles), unwelcome thoughts. and i need to get my virgin God-loving mind and body in the warm arms of a women.

            Comment

            • Cheshire
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Jan 2008
              • 213

              #7
              Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

              I would volunteer, but only if a Godly pastor would agree to escort me, as I've heard homers, even ex-homers, like to rape everything they see.
              Repent, or be tortured in nasty ways with sharp, pointy things!

              Comment

              • Helpme
                Unsaved trash
                Under Investigation
                • May 2008
                • 9

                #8
                Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

                Originally posted by Cheshire View Post
                I would volunteer, but only if a Godly pastor would agree to escort me, as I've heard homers, even ex-homers, like to rape everything they see.
                dont worry, i am not looking for anything sexual. Please save me from becoming a "homer"

                Comment

                • Jesussaysslipnotsucks
                  Unsaved trash
                   
                  • Jun 2008
                  • 52

                  #9
                  Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

                  Originally posted by Helpme View Post
                  dont worry, i am not looking for anything sexual. Please save me from becoming a "homer"
                  If you want nothing sexual then why would large boobs matter, and how in the name of sweet Jesus could a woman sve you from being a homer?

                  I fear your a homer for life..it is over.
                  For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.--- 1 Corinthians 9:19

                  Comment

                  • Millia
                    Unsaved Trash Whiner
                    Under Investigation
                    • Jun 2008
                    • 15

                    #10
                    Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

                    Originally posted by Marshall View Post
                    While a womans outward beauty is important and no one wants an overweight flat chested lady, perhaps you should address your un natural homofaggot urges before you start asking for dates.

                    This is a time for love, it isn't necessary to bring hatred into this. It makes me feel uncomfortable to be in a place to love and find mean spirited thought and words.
                    Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division.--Luke 12:51

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78553

                      #11
                      Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

                      Originally posted by Millia View Post
                      This is a time for love, it isn't necessary to bring hatred into this. It makes me feel uncomfortable to be in a place to love and find mean spirited thought and words.
                      What are you, some kind of hippie?
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • Jesussaysslipnotsucks
                        Unsaved trash
                         
                        • Jun 2008
                        • 52

                        #12
                        Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        What are you, some kind of hippie?
                        Sounds like a peace loving, God hating, tie dye wearing, pot smoking type hippie to me
                        For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.--- 1 Corinthians 9:19

                        Comment

                        • Brother Temperance
                          Senior Usher
                          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                          A very nice young man
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 15621

                          #13
                          Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

                          Originally posted by Millia View Post
                          This is a time for love, it isn't necessary to bring hatred into this. It makes me feel uncomfortable to be in a place to love and find mean spirited thought and words.
                          It makes me feel uncomfortable to log into the forums of God's Favourite Church and find a limp-wristed nancy sissying the place up. Man up and get right with Christ or begone!
                          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                          Comment

                          • Nobar King
                            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                            Christ's Guardian
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2007
                            • 23748

                            #14
                            Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

                            Don't they have Playboy in Australia? You know why it's called Playboy, right? It's not some homer game.
                            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                            Comment

                            • Bob4God
                              Moderator
                              Arms Dealer for CHRIST
                              Hands folded for Jesus
                               
                              • Apr 2008
                              • 5274

                              #15
                              Re: I need a girl to get me on the right track.

                              Millia, are you a hippie?
                              sigpic
                              The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
                              - Proverbs 15:3

                              CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


                              CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


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