[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Pray for my Messican Neighbor

Can anyone answer this for sure, absolutely for sure? Do Messicans really understand each other when the jabber like they do?

They nod and act like they understand, but do they really? I've always had my doubts.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Pray for my Messican Neighbor

I understand your confusion and horror that there might be a Messican or Negro living in your apartment building. First you need to understand what you're dealing with, because they have different breeding, different cultures, and different God-given proclivities from you and I. I have traveled this country, our Inner Cities, and throughout Asia and Latin America for my various business operations, and I have developed a keen ability to recognize the difference between Messicans and Negroes.


This is a Messican.


This is a Negro.

Let me know if you have any more difficulty. I have become so skilled at recognizing the difference between subhuman categories that I can spot the difference between Gooks and Slants.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Pray for my Messican Neighbor

Brother Worthington,
From your post I can now verify this person is a Messican. He seems to be laying low since nothing has yet been reported stolen from my building, but perhaps he goes out late at night to steal in other neighborhoods. My Christian principles of course require me to treat him with the Love of Jesus(R) so I have not yet complained to the building management of the grave danger that is among us.

I can't thank all of you enough for your concern and prayers. I suppose it is inevitable that he will be evicted for non payment of rent or because of increased police activity here; but until that day comes I will simply remain vigilant and encourage my neighbors to report anything suspicious. His lack of clear American speech and his obvious criminal bent is disturbing, but the LORD GOD is my protector. (2 Thessalonians 3:3)

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Pray for my Messican Neighbor

When your neighbor said where the beaches at! By beaches he means female dogs(by female dogs he means girls)

Now that's just ridiculous. Who are you, knave? Are you a messican, trying to make me feel safe and let down my guard so this criminal can attack me late at night?


I mean, so far he's not bothered me or anyone else, but it's just a matter of time before his crime spree becomes the topic of every news cast in the city. I'm sure of it.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Pray for my Messican Neighbor

Brother Larry, I am skilled at Mexican matters, owing to the proximity of their empire to my own home. Please do not be soothed into a non-vigilant state because no items of value have mysteriously disappeared. Many Mexicans have given up the practice of burglary in order to attend to their drug businesses. These businesses can be quite lucrative and, as a result, they can attract unsavory elements. Many of them are armed with gold plated pistols, which they like to produce on the slightest pretext and then begin shooting. They are notoriously bad shots, owing to the constant state of drunkenness that is usual among the Mexican race. Thus, they rarely hit their intended target, instead massacring onlookers and passersby.

My advice is to be wary of this wretch and his associates and to obtain a Kevlar vest and possibly an entire suit of Kevlar clothes at your earliest convenience. A speed loader for your revolver would be well got also.

[Saturday]

Re: Pray for my Messican Neighbor

What does "mang" mean exactly?

This is just "man" as in a term for "bro". Messicans sometimes pronounce it as "mang" althought he maybe Jamaican because of his pronunciation.


Example:

Hey man (mang), how you doin' today huh man (mang)?

"Hey, where all the beaches at, mang?" I replied, "Well, the beaches are all out on Long Island mostly - but there is a nice beach in Staten Island, too." He looked at me like I had three heads.


"No, mang!" He said. "Where all the BEACHES, mang? BEACHES!" I repeated what I had told him and he seemed to grow angry for some reason.


"You probably never had a beach in your life, mang." I told him that I most certainly had been to a beach but that I don't care for beaches because of the nudity. He shook his head and said:


"I'll make you my beach if you don't just shut up, mang."

Again, owing to his desperate attempt on making an American accent, he said "beach". In fact, what he is asking where are the sluts/prostitutes there (so instead of b***h, he said beach. Pardon my language.). .

Example:

Where be the club at huh man (mang)? I wanna see dem beaches (prostitutes).

I know these accents because Philippines is a pretty mixed bag of cultures, owing to the times our country was sometimes captured by the Spanish, Japanese, and Americans. So it was no trouble translating your roommates' clunky accent. I'm sorry if I was born in such a country.