Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Knocking out a quick prayer in the prayer closet can be a practical and fun way of showing Jesus you care.

I thought it might be a fine thing to share what we think of when we are knocking one out in the closet.

I pray that my clean limbed young Nephew will find Jesus in the same way I did (shout out to Pastor Zeke).

YIC

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

Dr Niles, this is an excellent topic - thank you for raising it.

Previously I would imagine the plight of young girls in the 3rd world who had no choice but to engage in prostitution and degradation while catering to the whims of older foreign men. I would imagine young girls with a high IQ and fluency in different languages forced to perform unsavory acts on men with no talent other than being born in different country.

However recently I find my mind drifting when I'm in the closet. It's like there is a force that is putting wicked imagery of muscular men... dancing?... yes, I believe dancing, toward me. In this vision I am being held against my will... no, maybe, I don't know... but anyway I am firmly tied up on a chair in the prone position. One by one the men approach and satisfy themselves without saying anything to me. It has the quality of some kind of punishment but I'm not frightened.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

Dr Niles, this is an excellent topic - thank you for raising it.

Previously I would imagine the plight of young girls in the 3rd world who had no choice but to engage in prostitution and degradation while catering to the whims of older foreign men. I would imagine young girls with a high IQ and fluency in different languages forced to perform unsavory acts on men with no talent other than being born in different country.

However recently I find my mind drifting when I'm in the closet. It's like there is a force that is putting wicked imagery of muscular men... dancing?... yes, I believe dancing, toward me. In this vision I am being held against my will... no, maybe, I don't know... but anyway I am firmly tied up on a chair in the prone position. One by one the men approach and satisfy themselves without saying anything to me. It has the quality of some kind of punishment but I'm not frightened.

Terrifying stuff indeed. Large muscular figures is actually more associated with Lesbiopaths: hulking brutes much more robust than normal people.

Now tell me, we’re you praying in this terrible time?

YIC

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

Terrifying stuff indeed. Large muscular figures is actually more associated with Lesbiopaths: hulking brutes much more robust than normal people.

Now tell me, we’re you praying in this terrible time?

Yes I was preparing for a long session; I had my prayer towel, my praying cream and some photographic materials for inspiration. However the visions of the dancing men made it so more intense, I may have passed out for a few minutes. It was a mess in there I can tell you!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

Yes I was preparing for a long session; I had my prayer towel, my praying cream and some photographic materials for inspiration. However the visions of the dancing men made it so more intense, I may have passed out for a few minutes. It was a mess in there I can tell you!

I would suggest getting back to basics.

All that paraphernalia is getting in your way of being opened to Christ’s love.

And you should definitely try secret prayer! Jesus sees all but if other people don’t (maybe you are at work or in the car) it makes him seethe with positivity.

Matthew 6:6 - But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly

This does mean that you need to fashion a portable prayer closet: the one I use is backpack sized and easily man portable. I take it with me when I witness as it also functions as an abuse silo where I can retire to when I am abused by Atheists who seek to ride rough shod over my most cherished beliefs as I witness to the unSaved trash: it also gives me the opportunity to knock one out in public.

YIC

[Dana723]

Re: Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

Yes I was preparing for a long session; I had my prayer towel, my praying cream and some photographic materials for inspiration. However the visions of the dancing men made it so more intense, I may have passed out for a few minutes. It was a mess in there I can tell you!

I have never heard of praying cream. Where might I get it?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

I have never heard of praying cream. Where might I get it?

When you turn the pages of the Bible(KJV1611)as quickly as many of us do (not to read as I know the Bible(KJV1611) by heart but to check nobody has added to it in the margins- in direct contravention of Deuteronomy 4:2) your fingers become chaffed.

Thusly a protective coating of specially naturally made cream prevents this (not oil based, however).

Where to get it? I normally buy it from a shop.

YIC

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

When you turn the pages of the Bible(KJV1611)as quickly as many of us do (not to read as I know the Bible(KJV1611) by heart but to check nobody has added to it in the margins- in direct contravention of Deuteronomy 4:2) your fingers become chaffed.

Thusly a protective coating of specially naturally made cream prevents this (not oil based, however).

Where to get it? I normally buy it from a shop.

YIC

I never knew that, Doctor, but it does explain the lotion Mr. Etheldreda likes to purchase at Costco in bulk. Perhaps the LORD made women a bit differently, for when I spend my special time deep in the Bible, I find my fingers are perfectly supple and up to the task of turning those pages as rapidly or slowly as Jesus leads me. Perhaps this is the one merciful treat He has given the weaker sex, for the Good Lord knows we don't deserve even an ounce of mercy.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

Perhaps this is the one merciful treat He has given the weaker sex, for the Good Lord knows we don't deserve even an ounce of mercy.

You’d think so, wouldn’t you.

You see, people don’t really understand women: studies have been done but they are still a mystery to people.

You see, why ask Science when the Bible(KJV1611) has all the answers that so called academics ignore.

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

You see, that is one of Jesus’ most amazing mysteries: He made women for us but we still don’t really know why

You see, this is proof, if proof be need be that Jesus stands so far above us that His many commands and dictates to mere men make absolutely no sense at all.

Do you see?

YIC

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

When you turn the pages of the Bible(KJV1611)as quickly as many of us do (not to read as I know the Bible(KJV1611) by heart but to check nobody has added to it in the margins- in direct contravention of Deuteronomy 4:2) your fingers become chaffed.

Sometimes in a 12 hour prayer session I have observed multiple marks in the margins of a KJV Bible and have had to rub one out. It really reddens the hands with all those sensitive nerve endings. It doesn't happen often but, a year ago at a specialst photography event in Singapore, all I could do was lock myself in the hostel room and rub 4 out, one after another. So I dare anyone to inspect my margins! Clean as a whistle.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

Today I felt the need to pray for your nephew, Dr. Niles. I pictured him in my prayer-mind as I sought the face of the LORD in earnest prayer. His lean, muscled body was utmost in my thoughts and when my prayer reached its climax, I felt relaxed and as if a burden was lifted from the bowels of my being. It warmed the cockles of my heart to know that I touched Heaven's altar with supplications in his behalf. I hope it was visible in some way on your surveillance camera of his room.


Oh, PRAISE GOD for the gift of communication with Him - a communication He welcomes and we treasure.


BrotherLarry

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Knock one out. In the closet with Dr Niles.

Jesus has blessed me with the vertigo so I’m having to stay in bed and cannot attend to my normal to-doings.

Could someone knock out a quick prayer as the house keeper keeps moving the remote out of my reach so I can’t watch my re runs of ACTS (I can’t even get up to change the video cassettes)?

I’m sure that with your help Jesus will appropriately adjust His priorities in prayer answerage away from all the amputees, hungry diseased children, blindos and the deaf (who seem to refuse to pull themselves up by their boot straps and help themselves).

Honestly, why should Jesus be burdened with offering Salvation to the sick and deprived when they refuse to accept His healing (because otherwise they would be healed)?

Prayer works: this we know.

John 15:7 - If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

So when these people keep turning up unhealed what are we to think?

That’s right: time wasters

1 John 5:14 - And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us

Amputees, blindos, deaf-aids and the bereft are that way because Jesus has correctly decided that their good health is not according to His will!

This is why we should not have Universal Health Care. What kind of good Christian doctor wants to effectively unleash streams of piping hot urine into the Baby Jesus’s crying face when he treats a sick person who God has not given the God given resources to afford treatment?

Having enough money to afford health care is a sure sign that Jesus wants you to be healthy (otherwise He wouldn’t have made you a bum on the side of the road by one of those burning metal bin things).

Proverbs 13:11 Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase

So the poor are vain, spiteful people who deserve to get ill

Leviticus 26:19 And I will break the pride of your power; and I will make your heaven as iron, and your earth as brass

These so called ‘ill’ people need buck up their ideas, buckle down and get right with God: not harp on about how ill they are and how Jesus should waste His time on people that by definition we already know He hates.

Anyway, a few minutes of your time to beseach Jesus to set me right so i don’t have to watch the same 3 hour’s of ACTS over and over again as Magda has again gone to the shops would be appreciated.

YIC