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  • #1

    I Could Use a Few Prayers, Folks

    I know the Rapture is going to come any day now....but I keep having nightmares that I won't have on the perfect dress or have my hair perfectly done when HE arrives to take us home. I'm now starting to get little bags under my eyes from the restless sleep!

    Please HELP my prayer warriors!
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    Tags: the rapture is here
  • #2
    Re: I Could Use a Few Prayers Folks

    It might be those afternoon naps, Sister. They seem so great and refreshing at the time, but I hear that they lead to restless sleep at night.

    Have you started sleeping in a dress?
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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    • #3
      Re: I Could Use a Few Prayers Folks

      Originally posted by Nobar King View Post

      Have you started sleeping in a dress?
      Heaven's no! I couldn't be carried away on a cloud in a wrinkly dress. I sleep in 100% cotton over-sized night shirts.
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      • #4
        Re: I Could Use a Few Prayers Folks

        Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
        Heaven's no! I couldn't be carried away on a cloud in a wrinkly dress. I sleep in 100% cotton over-sized night shirts.
        Thank God you do not sleep naked in a sinful state of dress Sister T. We are all awaiting the Glory of Rapture© !


        Leviticus 26:27-29

        27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
        28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
        29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

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        • #5
          Re: I Could Use a Few Prayers Folks

          Lovely Lady,

          I will do you three times better. Instead of mumbling words I don't understand and can't believe, I will come over and sooth you to sleep.

          I will cuddle next to you and sing a lullabye... "Now I lay me down to sleep, and ask the stars my hair to keep. If I die before I wake, at least I'll have had a lovely sleep..."

          I would be there like a rock falling from a tree if you ask...




          SF
          I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!

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          • #6
            Re: I Could Use a Few Prayers Folks

            Uh-oh....

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            • #7
              Re: I Could Use a Few Prayers Folks

              Don't worry sister, I'm sure once we're in Heaven the Good Lord shall provide you the finest clothing!

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              • #8
                Re: I Could Use a Few Prayers Folks

                Originally posted by Star Finder View Post
                Lovely Lady,

                I will do you three times better. Instead of mumbling words I don't understand and can't believe, I will come over and sooth you to sleep.

                I will cuddle next to you and sing a lullabye... "Now I lay me down to sleep, and ask the stars my hair to keep. If I die before I wake, at least I'll have had a lovely sleep..."

                I would be there like a rock falling from a tree if you ask...




                SF
                YOU HAD BETTER BE POSSESSED BY DEMONS AGAIN MISTER, BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR MAKING PERVERTED SUGGESTIONS AT MY FIANCÉE! WE'VE BEEN HAPPILY ENGAGED NOW FOR OVER 6 YEARS, SO I THINK SHE'S MADE HER CHOICE CLEAR. STEP OFF, HEATHEN!
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                • #9
                  Re: I Could Use a Few Prayers Folks

                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                  YOU HAD BETTER BE POSSESSED BY DEMONS AGAIN MISTER, BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR MAKING PERVERTED SUGGESTIONS AT MY FIANCÉE! WE'VE BEEN HAPPILY ENGAGED NOW FOR OVER 6 YEARS, SO I THINK SHE'S MADE HER CHOICE CLEAR. STEP OFF, HEATHEN!
                  Yeah! Over SIX years!!!!
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                  • #10
                    Re: I Could Use a Few Prayers Folks

                    WE'VE BEEN HAPPILY ENGAGED NOW FOR OVER 6 YEARS


                    Well that's your problem right there pastor. WHY have you not made these "baby soldiers for Christ" I keep hearing about??

                    Hmmm?


                    Why DO you spend so much time at the Youth Center? With the sweaty swarthy simple basketball shooters?

                    I think BTB is RIPE for wooing....
                    I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!

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