[Brother Temperance]

Re: To all "true christians"

OH no no no Mr. OYN I don't want to see that man Samual fornicate with any sheep.

BAA has already expressed such an interest because of her name. She is confused , broke and most likely molested by her father so I'm trying to help her out with some gainful employment.

Sorry, but her DoF file indicates that the drunken God-mocking mick has foot-and-mouth disease. We will try and have her humanely put down as soon as possible, but she'll need to be kept away from the livestock in the meantime.

[Star Finder]

Re: To all "true christians"

OH no no no Mr. OYN I don't want to see that man Samual fornicate with any sheep.

BAA has already expressed such an interest because of her name. She is confused , broke and most likely molested by her father so I'm trying to help her out with some gainful employment.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: To all "true christians"

Please let me know how much I need to collect from the guys. There will be six of us.

thx
SF

Are you trying to hire this young newbie, Samuel, for one of your depraved rock-worshipping bestiality rituals?

He's not some nappy-headed ho for your amusement!

[Star Finder]

Re: To all "true christians"

OH Good you're back! I have been able to procure a nice 4-year old ram from the farmer down the block. The poor guy was swimming in a pool of filthy water over at the pig farm cause of the flood, so I rescued him.

I know that you're not available on June 21st but I was hoping that July 4th would work for you or maybe June 17th - Father's Day. That would work out great.

Please let me know how much I need to collect from the guys. There will be six of us.

thx
SF

[Brother Samuel]

Re: To all "true christians"

I sincerely do have a prayer request. I request that you pray for your god to give/show me evidence that he exists within this week. If, by the end of this week, I don't receive any, I can only assume that either

1. god doesn't exist
2. god can't provide evidence (thus not being an omnipotent god- making the christian faith -among others- false)
3. god just doesn't want to

Surely, you being "true christians", your god will answer you at least in some way.

Son, the very fact that he has led you here to God's Favourite Forum should be proof enough that he exists. Fortunately for you, he has given you one more chance to get right with him before he dropkicks you into eternal Hellfire. I suggest you take full advantage of it. You should talk to one of the Pastors immediately about purchasing the plan of salvation. Listening to some of Pastor Deacon Fred's Godcasts and reading the Sermons will help put you on the right path. I also think it's time for you to pick up the Holy Bible (KJV1611) and read it through. It's the all time international best-seller for a reason.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: To all "true christians"

Nah, Lent's based on Jesus spending 40 days and nights in the desert.

Matthew 4:2
And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.

Mark 1:13
And he was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted of Satan; and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered unto him.

Luke 4:2
Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered.

Christians don't fast for forty days/nights, but they give up a food or drink that they are fond of to remember what Jesus did. Common examples are chocolate, tea, coffee and so on.

Reading the bible doesn't make me Christian. Heck, I also read The Skeptic's Annotated Bible, The Apocrypha, The Koran, The Book of Mormon and The Egyption Book of the Dead. The only one which actually appeals to me is The Skeptic's Annotated Bible, obviously.

Wow, you're a Catholic apologist! Look for SOMETHING referencing 40 days, then stick it into Easter. Why not say that it has to do with the Jews spending 40 years in the wilderness, without a compass?

God never commanded any Easter holiday. It is not in the Bible. God never commanded people to do some half-assed pseudo-fast. It is not in the Bible.

However, Semiramis ordered a 40-day fast to mourn her dead son, Tammuz, followed by celebration of his "resurrection/deification"!

That's the origin of Lent, whether you like it or not, you Catholic!

God commanded following of Passover, not "Easter". The First Council of Nicea (Catholic devil-worshippers) in 325 AD discussed dropping Passover because the Gentiles didn't want to celebrate with the Jews!

Easter is NOT a Christian Holiday, and Lent is NOT Christian! They are Catholic/Babylonian holidays!

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: To all "true christians"

So if god's people do it in the bible that makes it ok?
For example - Noah got drunk. I'm sure that doesn't make it ok to get drunk.

Genesis 9:20-21
20And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

Well, why don't you TRY to draw a conclusion (instead of quoting somebody) for once..
Did God ever say that it was ok to get drunk, or do He say the opposite?
What do other verses than this say about getting drunk?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: To all "true christians"

Nah, Lent's based on Jesus spending 40 days and nights in the desert.

Matthew 4:2
And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.

Mark 1:13
And he was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted of Satan; and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered unto him.

Luke 4:2
Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered.

Christians don't fast for forty days/nights, but they give up a food or drink that they are fond of to remember what Jesus did. Common examples are chocolate, tea, coffee and so on.

Yes, Jesus fasted for forty days and nights. Show us where He commanded His followers to do a lame, half-hearted imitation of that by giving up chocolate or potatoes or whatever you people eat for forty days and forty nights. You won't find it. That sort of thing is mocking Jesus' accomplishment, not celebrating it.

So if god's people do it in the bible that makes it ok?
For example - Noah got drunk. I'm sure that doesn't make it ok to get drunk.

Genesis 9:20-21
20And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

That story is in the Bible for a very specific purpose: to teach us not to get drunk and lie around with our genitals exposed unless we want God to turn our children into accursed darkies. How could we know that if that story wasn't in the Bible?

[Born-Again Atheist]

Re: To all "true christians"

Don't be calling me stupid. That was a reply.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Born-Again Atheist
Yeah I've read the King James' version twice and others a few times.

I'm extremely happy to hear that.
You are turning into a proper christian lady.old

So if god's people do it in the bible that makes it ok?
For example - Noah got drunk. I'm sure that doesn't make it ok to get drunk.

Genesis 9:20-21
20And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: To all "true christians"

Nah, Lent's based on Jesus spending 40 days and nights in the desert.

Matthew 4:2
And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.

Mark 1:13
And he was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted of Satan; and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered unto him.

Luke 4:2
Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered.

Christians don't fast for forty days/nights, but they give up a food or drink that they are fond of to remember what Jesus did. Common examples are chocolate, tea, coffee and so on.

Reading the bible doesn't make me Christian. Heck, I also read The Skeptic's Annotated Bible, The Apocrypha, The Koran, The Book of Mormon and The Egyption Book of the Dead. The only one which actually appeals to me is The Skeptic's Annotated Bible, obviously.

Based on what you say here, and a few previous posts, I'm convinced that you are actually a drunken mick mary worshiper trying to go undercover and sow seeds of doubt and craziness on our Godly forum. Well it won't work, papist dog.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: To all "true christians"

Nah, Lent's based on Jesus spending 40 days and nights in the desert.

Matthew 4:2
And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.

Mark 1:13
And he was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted of Satan; and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered unto him.

Luke 4:2
Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered.

And how do you know WHEN Lent would be? You don't.
And when did Jesus tell us to observe this Lent? He didn't.
Did the apostles ever observe Lent? No, they didn't.

The cahthylicks only took a pagan holiday and then tried to find some justification for it in the Bible.
They like to do that, those pagans.

Reading the bible doesn't make me Christian. Heck, I also read The Skeptic's Annotated Bible, The Apocrypha, The Koran, The Book of Mormon and The Egyption Book of the Dead. The only one which actually appeals to me is The Skeptic's Annotated Bible, obviously.

Of course not, stupid.
But following the Holy Bible would make you one, but obviously you don't follow it, and thus you will go to hell.

[Born-Again Atheist]

Re: To all "true christians"

Nah, Lent's based on Jesus spending 40 days and nights in the desert.

Matthew 4:2
And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.

Mark 1:13
And he was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted of Satan; and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered unto him.

Luke 4:2
Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered.

Christians don't fast for forty days/nights, but they give up a food or drink that they are fond of to remember what Jesus did. Common examples are chocolate, tea, coffee and so on.

Reading the bible doesn't make me Christian. Heck, I also read The Skeptic's Annotated Bible, The Apocrypha, The Koran, The Book of Mormon and The Egyption Book of the Dead. The only one which actually appeals to me is The Skeptic's Annotated Bible, obviously.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: To all "true christians"

You mean you all don't have LENT?? Geez, I don't know ANY christian of ANY denomination who doesn't take part in lent! It's a fundamental part of the christian faith! Look at the christian calender!

Yeah I've read the King James' version twice and others a few times.

I suggest you educate yourself on Lent before declaring it "Christian".

The Origin of Lent

According to Johannes Cassianus, who wrote in the fifth century, “Howbeit you should know, that as long as the primitive church retained its perfection unbroken, this observance of Lent did not exist” (First Conference Abbot Theonas, chapter 30). There is neither biblical nor historical record of Christ, the apostles or the early Church participating in the Lenten season.

Since there is no instruction to observe Lent in the Bible, where did it come from? A forty-day abstinence period was anciently observed in honor of the pagan gods Osiris, Adonis and Tammuz (John Landseer, Sabaean Researches, pp. 111, 112). Alexander Hislops, The Two Babylons, pp. 104-105, says this of the origin of Lent: “The forty days abstinence of Lent was directly borrowed from the worshippers of the Babylonian goddess. Such a Lent of forty days, in the spring of the year, is still observed by the Yezidis or Pagan Devil-worshippers of Koordistan, who have inherited it from their early masters, the Babylonians. Such a Lent of forty days was held in spring by the Pagan Mexicans…Such a Lent of forty days was observed in Egypt…”

Lent came from paganism, not from the Bible!

Next, you'll be saying that the Easter Bunny is a Christian symbol, too!!

[tommy]

Re: To all "true christians"

Yeah I've read the King James' version twice and others a few times.

I'm extremely happy to hear that.
You are turning into a proper christian lady.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: To all "true christians"

You mean you all don't have LENT?? Geez, I don't know ANY christian of ANY denomination who doesn't take part in lent! It's a fundamental part of the christian faith! Look at the christian calender!

Yeah I've read the King James' version twice and others a few times.

So you consider the "christian calender" more important than the Holy Bible?
You're dumb, I mean REALLY DUMB, aren't you?