[OnYourKnees]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

I see that once again you lack the proper delicacy and sensitivity in such matters, Ms. Van Helswingsbothways. According to the Bible there is no need for such shameless goings on that you mentioned to accomplish a Godly seeding. I can only modestly counsel that there may have been some understandable confusion concerning the use of door number one or door number two.

I have heard of such things.

Sister M&Ms, it might help in the future if you were to face him, instead of the pillow.

Before attempting such a maneuver, I strongly suggest installing blackout curtains and a surround-sound system so you may listen to soothing music; anything by Wagner should serve admirably to drown out any unwanted sounds.

[Bozo James]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

For every drop of ran that falls a flower grows............I believe, ......I believe
Come on ya'll sing along with me.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

....I'm simply wondering what was so horrific that she'd be turned off sex for a year. The only thing I can think of would be if she wasn't physically 'ready' and he was sizeable and too impatient and too eager and clumsy. Or just too eager and clumsy and her not physically 'warmed up'.

That's probably what happened.
My advice?
Have your husband look up the definition of 'foreplay'.

I see that once again you lack the proper delicacy and sensitivity in such matters, Ms. Van Helswingsbothways. According to the Bible there is no need for such shameless goings on that you mentioned to accomplish a Godly seeding. I can only modestly counsel that there may have been some understandable confusion concerning the use of door number one or door number two.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

Oh lovely Mrs. Rogers.

Don't torture me with no reply. You can use a whip or paddle but please don't avert your face from mine.

I am so happy that Mr. Rogers died so our love can blossom in the open, without furtive couplings inthe broom closet.

I await your reply.

SF

Considering your current condition, wouldn't the kitchen cabinet be more appropriate?

[Star Finder]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

Oh lovely Mrs. Rogers.

Don't torture me with no reply. You can use a whip or paddle but please don't avert your face from mine.

I am so happy that Mr. Rogers died so our love can blossom in the open, without furtive couplings inthe broom closet.

I await your reply.

SF

[Deaner]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

Have your husband look up the definition of 'foreplay'.

I refuse to look up any word you advise Ms. Hellbound but I assume you are talking about the begging part that most secular men are forced to endure. Fortunately, it's not that way in the True Christian household.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

We know all about your neighbor's child, "Suckling Pig"!

You know it was ordinary pork! Mister three helpings!
So, then I guess I'll have to tell the event organizer that you won't be coming after all.
No suckling pig for you!

And now prying into the intimate details of Sister M&Ms shameful experience? Why would you wish her to relive such disgusting perversions? For your repugnant imaginings, no doubt!

I'm simply wondering what was so horrific that she'd be turned off sex for a year. The only thing I can think of would be if she wasn't physically 'ready' and he was sizeable and too impatient and too eager and clumsy. Or just too eager and clumsy and her not physically 'warmed up'.

That's probably what happened.
My advice?
Have your husband look up the definition of 'foreplay'.

[SUV]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

Oh Mrs. Rogers. I've missed you so much. and I've grown lonely without our secret meetings.

That could be us again my sweet flower. Please let nothing stand in our way to true happiness.

By the Crepitous Christ. Now Starry, Starry Night is "hitting on" our own Chaste, Pure Mrs. Rogers.

Surely the End Times are already up my fundament & around the corner at this very moment.

JESUS!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

Yes, how do we know this wicker is not going to cast a hex on poor Sister Mary? This woman is probably a thespian out to seduce our poor Sister Mary at her moment of vulnerability.

My thoughts exactly Brother BJ. And we all know how weak and susceptable sister M&M is to the temptations of soft, nubile womanly flesh. All those years in the convent....I'd sure hate to see her backslide.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

Thanks, but I'm sure I speak for sister Maria when I tell you that she is not interested in your prayers. You see God does not hear the prayers of a jew or a witch.

Who do you think you're fooling?

Yes, how do we know this wicker is not going to cast a hex on poor Sister Mary? This woman is probably a thespian out to seduce our poor Sister Mary at her moment of vulnerability.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

I'm sorry you had a horrible evening on your honeymoon, but I shall pray that your womb bring forth a little soldier as soon as possible so you might not have to repeat the dreadful task. I know how you feel Sister Mary. May I call you Sister M&M?

Thanks, but I'm sure I speak for sister Maria when I tell you that she is not interested in your prayers. You see God does not hear the prayers of a jew or a witch.

Who do you think you're fooling?

[WiccanFollowerandPROUNDofit1976]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

As you all know, on our honeymoon, my husband (Mr. Whitford) and I came to know each other as proscribed in the Bible one horrible evening so that we could bring forth a little Soldier for Christ.
While we followed the best timing advice modern Christian Science has to offer, we'd rather avoid the filthy ordeal for another year. Please pray that my womb shall be put into God's service as speedily as possible.
Bless you, brothers and sisters.

I'm sorry you had a horrible evening on your honeymoon, but I shall pray that your womb bring forth a little soldier as soon as possible so you might not have to repeat the dreadful task. I know how you feel Sister Mary. May I call you Sister M&M?

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

Oh Mrs. Rogers. I've missed you so much. and I've grown lonely without our secret meetings.

That could be us again my sweet flower. Please let nothing stand in our way to true happiness.

How dare you say such things to our pure Mrs. Rogers!

If you want to worship rocks, we can find a few to introduce you to . . . up close and personal!

[Star Finder]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

Oh Mrs. Rogers. I've missed you so much. and I've grown lonely without our secret meetings.

My word, you youngsters go at it like a randy rabbits these days! It is quite understandable

That could be us again my sweet flower. Please let nothing stand in our way to true happiness.

[Brother Samuel]

Re: Please pray that knowing my husband "took"...

I'll be praying sister. As for you, Rachael, how dare you post some of the things you do. I'm surprised you're still around. Yet, I suppose the pastors and other senior staff let you alone as an example of what happens when you ignore what we have to say and sniff glue.