Tweet
Mark your imprecatory calendars to lobby for the death of Demoncrat mayoral candidate Miss (with countless children, mind you!) Cloressa Washington all day Monday. The Pastors are asking that all current Landover Baptist Gold and Silver level Prayer Partners to disregard the Prayer Circle Hit List included in last Sunday's newsletter. Those who have begun prayers beseeching the Lord Jesus to dip Antichrist Hellary Rodman Cliton like a teabag into boiling liquid are encouraged to finish that heartfelt entreaty. All other prayer warriors are to immediately turn the Lord's attention to the more pressing political need of preventing a liebral nigress from turning Freehold City Hall into a rest stop for weary demons on their way to Des Moines.
For those of you wishing to learn the most effective ways to goad the Almighty into killing, maiming or otherwise inconveniencing, make plans to attend my "The Positive Power of Negative Prayer: Why Stop at Just Assassinating Their Character?" seminar in the Golden Cherubim ballroom off the main sanctuary. Thursday, 8:00 pm ($200 in advance/$400 at the door/ammo provided to the first 25 prayer warriors. Glory!!
For those of you wishing to learn the most effective ways to goad the Almighty into killing, maiming or otherwise inconveniencing, make plans to attend my "The Positive Power of Negative Prayer: Why Stop at Just Assassinating Their Character?" seminar in the Golden Cherubim ballroom off the main sanctuary. Thursday, 8:00 pm ($200 in advance/$400 at the door/ammo provided to the first 25 prayer warriors. Glory!!
