[SUV]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

Once I got down on my knees and started humming a Godly tune, they were like putty in my hands. In the 4 short hours I spent with them, we experienced dozens of what I like to call "Hallelujah Moments" in every position and combination imaginable. I get excited all over again every time I think about it!

Great Grumpy GOD, Pastor! This must have been every bit as exciting as Jesus recently receiving Oral! Praise!

[True Disciple]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

Because you claim to be the child of 2 sponges of course. Did you even read your own signature? You are unable to read the Bible. You are unable to read the posting on this forum. And now you are even unable to read your own postings? How did you ever figure out how to cross a street without getting killed?

Right you are, Brother! To which school did this boy go, seeing that he can write a little, but is unable to read anything at all?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

And what is all this talk about Spongebob? You guys watch some strange shows.

Because you claim to be the child of 2 sponges of course. Did you even read your own signature? You are unable to read the Bible. You are unable to read the posting on this forum. And now you are even unable to read your own postings? How did you ever figure out how to cross a street without getting killed?

[ThrustingBoy]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

Dear Lord, it appears he is into excrement as well

Yeah, because I put that there and not you guys.

Why don't you take some personal responsibility for your self instead of blaming other.

I wasn't blaming anybody for anything, I stated where I got the idea of my sig from.

And what is all this talk about Spongebob? You guys watch some strange shows.

[Christy]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

Glory!

[Paul Jeffery]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to voice my jubilation over this newest win for Jesus. Pastor Zeke, you still lead by example, as you always have. News of your freedom reached Rockford while I was at work this morning and my supervisor wrote me up for letting out a loud "WHOOP!" within earshot of a client and for dancing down the aisle of the store while on the clock. My behavior was entirely the work of Jesus so I'll happily take the write-up. Please let me know if there is anything I might do or anything you need for the care or education of the seven cellmates you're taking under your wing. I'm less than five hours away from Freehold and remain at your beck and call.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

Thank goodness! I have been working all night on the motion you requested that I file. (The one that asks a judge to order you out of solitary and into the cell with other inmates so you could preach the word of God to them, especially the queers.) I am glad we do not need to file it anymore...unless you want to sue for the right to go into the jail every once in a while and preach to the queers?

Your motion worked, Brother. Not only am I a free man again, but I managed to convert 7 nubile young men to accept Jesus as their Savior right there in Prison!! Once I got down on my knees and started humming a Godly tune, they were like putty in my hands. In the 4 short hours I spent with them, we experienced dozens of what I like to call "Hallelujah Moments" in every position and combination imaginable. I get excited all over again every time I think about it!

Welcome back to the world Pastor Zeke. I got to say you looked rather chipper and happy when we picked you up at the county jail. Very impressive for someone who has been in the lions den, so to say. The smile on your face was very moving Pastor. All an example of the Protection of the Lord® you move under.

AMEN!! And I'd appreciate it if you would have one of your boys in security run down to the Des Moines Jail and pick up my cellmates. I just got off the phone and the judge has released all 7 of them into my custody. I'd like to relive our hours in lockup and work on some fine-tuning of their Salvation. Shout GLORY!!

So are you stating now that it is ok for somebody of a different religion to start beating you with their Holy book just because they think it is right? Because I assume it will be a cold day in Hell before you admit something like that. I assume you are giving yourself the right but nobody else because you believe that you are right and everybody else is wrong. JUST LIKE EVERYBODY THAT HAS BELIEVES RELIGION DOES.

Dear Hatemonger;

We follow the Holy Bible word for word, as has been pointed out to you on innumerable occasions. God wants those who follow other religions to be killed! All I did was scrambled the brains of bop a queer witch on the head with my steel-plated KJV Bible. He's lucky Jesus didn't get ahold of him before I did!

Once he comes out of his coma (if ever), I'll expect a heartfelt apology and his renunciation of satan. Anything less and I'll press charges against him!

[SUV]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

I thought you where a Spongebob fan.

Dear Lord, it appears he is into excrement as well

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

Haha, I am glad you noticed, but my sig is from something Bobby Joe said in the "Are you and Atheist" thread. I found it funny and liked it. But no, I do not actually think I evolved from a sponge.

Why don't you take some personal responsibility for your self instead of blaming other.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

But no, I do not actually think I evolved from a sponge.

I thought you where a Spongebob fan.

[ThrustingBoy]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

Excuse me for intruding sir but I noticed your signature. As a scientist I am naturally curious, as a sponge how do you type on a keyboard? Did you evolve arms, or are you using some sort of device for the handicapped?

Haha, I am glad you noticed, but my sig is from something Bobby Joe said in the "Are you and Atheist" thread. I found it funny and liked it. But no, I do not actually think I evolved from a sponge.

[John Scopes]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

Your closed mindedness never stops amazing me.

Excuse me for intruding sir but I noticed your signature. As a scientist I am naturally curious, as a sponge how do you type on a keyboard? Did you evolve arms, or are you using some sort of device for the handicapped?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

Your closed mindedness never stops amazing me.

I have not seen you change your opinion a tiny bit either, so you are close minded as well. The difference here being that we can back up our "closed minds" with cold hard facts from the Holy Bible.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

Your closed mindedness never stops amazing me.

So were do you find the truth friend, out of your backside? The mutterings of some drug crazed hippy? The rantings of some native American on a mushroom trip? The Bible is the bases of the entire moral system of the civilization we live in.

[ThrustingBoy]

Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

Only if the person performing the procedure follows the True Religion™ of course. And the Bible makes it very clear which religion is the True One.

Your closed mindedness never stops amazing me.