[Jo Freddie]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

Huh! Can't even speak American; it should, of course be,

"Art thou man?"

Who are we to question the words God uses to reveal his message?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

a) Are thee man?

Huh! Can't even speak American; it should, of course be,

"Art thou man?"

[Jo Freddie]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

That is satan's greatest trick, to make usbelieve that he doesn't exist, and that hell is just an imaginary place invented by bronze-age writers in order to frighten people into obedience. Well let me tell you something Mr. Noodle Pirate: HELL IS REAL and YOU are going there ANY DAY NOW because GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED!!

See somewhere deep down inside you know the truth, it tries to get out, but your brainwashing almost manages to keep it suppressed, it is no trick of satan, as satan is also a construct of those same bronze-age chasers, it is you my friend that has fallen for the old trick not I.

Many here feel threatened by my presence, my words and those of the One True God, Hallowed be His Noodly Appendages, touches something inside, an unconscious feeling that knows these words are the TRUTH, but you are yet to break through the brainwashing. I am here to help you, help you break down those walls inside that keep you from accepting the truth.

The stronger the outbursts against me, the more I know the TRUTH is making itself felt within you.

Once you are rid of those walls, gone will be that pain inside, that fire that eats away at you from within.

I offer you another prayer from "The Official Pastafarian Prayer Book"

Ponderance of thy Balls

Oh Dual Orbed One in the Sky
Thy carbohydrated-ness is reknown throughout the land
For thy appendage has touched our humble Pastafarian flock
And in our praise to thee, do we thank thee for extending your noodley appendage.
For a life of dogma sure beats living in the real world!

And with thine eye stalks, does thee watch over your Piratey Brethren
For they are both googly and snail like. And Gastropods are yea verily really cool with the kids.
And in our worship to thee, do we acknowledge that you watch over us.
Like Betty Bowers or a Military Satellite.
For thine privacy is forfeit in your eyes.

But thine mystery of thine Pulsating Meat Balls doth perplex us
They are dual Halos, (without the X-Box) which radiate thy warmth with great glee, meatiness and herbiness.
For your mincey goodness be forfeit without much garlic and onion.

And in our thoughts of thee, do we boys ponder your wobbly bits.
For a man doth think about sex every 10 seconds according to many womans magazines.
And testosterone can yea verily be a real bummer.
For it doth cause many of the worlds problems, including
24 hour sports channels and badly acted martial arts movies.

And in multiple choice format, we doth ask thee:

a) Are thee man? For thy Holy orbs possess crown jewel like qualities. (cue spine tingling music)
b) Are thee woman? For thy Holy orbs put Pamela Anderson to shame
c) Are thee both? For the post modern era doth allow many possibilities
d) Are thee are non of the above?

For thine answer is d). Lock in d)!!

For we shall praise thee in all our Might Oh Great Lord/Lordette that your sexless form shall provide inspiration and equality to Pastafarians across the land.

For subordination of women and separation of roles is an abomination in your eye stalks.

Yes thy humble snail is also a hermaphrodite, intelligently designed in your image. But alas thy brethren the slug did yea verily cop a raw deal, without thy 'Mini-Winnebago' for shelter.

And as your tentacles brush the lands of the holy mountain, shall we your pastafarian people extol thee with much joy.
For the mystery of thine balls shall result in much fragmented thinking, counter movement and disagreement, like most theological thinking.

For thine balls are the Meatiness, the Mince and the Seasoning.

For Ever and Ever,

RAmen

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

Clear evidence of your sadistic nature, you get joy from the mental image of suffering of others.

Don't think I don't see your little game Mr Freddie - if that is your name.

With your constant bickering and infanite drivel, you drive a True Christian(tm) man beyond the patience of God Himself and then, when he finally emphasizes the Truth to you, you appear surprised and you attack him again!

Your delusions about a god made of stuff that has to be made by man are ridiculous!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

I am very happy to be sure idiots like you will burn in hell for all eternity.

Clear evidence of your sadistic nature, you get joy from the mental image of suffering of others.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

You seem to need the idea of that burning lake, to give you the hope that those who's lives are more fun then yours will pay for it in the end.

Since my life is great fun, I do not think you are getting any of this. Perhaps the tomato sauce caused depression is blurring your perspective here.

I am very happy about loving Jesus and Him loving me.
I am very happy to be sure I will go to Heaven.
I am very happy to be sure idiots like you will burn in hell for all eternity.

Life is great! The afterlife will be even better!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

THERE IS NO HELL OF ETERNAL FIRE

That is satan's greatest trick, to make usbelieve that he doesn't exist, and that hell is just an imaginary place invented by bronze-age writers in order to frighten people into obedience. Well let me tell you something Mr. Noodle Pirate: HELL IS REAL and YOU are going there ANY DAY NOW because GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED!!

Jude 18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

Making nonsense bold and uppercase does not make it any more true.

Hell exists: Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

I pity your life, that knot you have twisting away inside you, eating away at your very being, sucking the joy from your existence. You seem to need the idea of that burning lake, to give you the hope that those who's lives are more fun then yours will pay for it in the end. Well I am sorry, that is just not the case. There is no eternal damnation for those who reject your fairy tales. Those sections of those fairy tales that you post in fancy colours, are still just that, fairy tales.

I want to help you lose that knot, I want you to be free to find joy in your own life and the lives of others, I want you to be free of that grey cloud that embraces your very being whenever you see someone enjoying life.

[Sister Charli]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

THERE IS NO HELL OF ETERNAL FIRE

May that be your mantra to scream as you burn!!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

THERE IS NO HELL OF ETERNAL FIRE

Making nonsense bold and uppercase does not make it any more true.

Hell exists: Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

[Jo Freddie]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

That is just pure blasphemy. I'm sure that Jesus is picking out a special place in hell for you right now mr. pirate blasphemer.

THERE IS NO HELL OF ETERNAL FIRE

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

That is just pure blasphemy. I'm sure that Jesus is picking out a special place in hell for you right now mr. pirate blasphemer.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

Our Pasta
Our Pasta, who "Arghh" in heaven, Swallowed be thy shame. Thy Midgit come. Thy Sauce be yum, On top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day our garlic bread. And give us our cutlasses, As we swashbuckle, splice the main-brace and cuss. And lead us into temptation, But deliver us some Pizza. For thine are Meatballs, and the beer, and the strippers, for ever and ever. RAmen.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

Who mentioned talking food? These are but different groups within the True Faith, I myself am a Pastafarian, others chose different ways to Honour the Great Noodle to none of these ways are wrong, just different.

differentiated as red or white sauce?

[Jo Freddie]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

Come on Jo Freddie you are just pulling our legs aren't you.
Cant you come up with a better story than talking noodles. Lenguniians , ravolids etc. Whats next talking garlic bread?
Oh wait why not a talking bush while you are at it....never mind. Back to the noodle with meat ball eyes, that is funny.

Who mentioned talking food? These are but different groups within the True Faith, I myself am a Pastafarian, others chose different ways to Honour the Great Noodle to none of these ways are wrong, just different.