[Juliette]

Re: Update on Chris

I will.

I'm urgenly in need of improving my pie baking skills. Shame on me.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Update on Chris

Maybe someone who cares will bake him a cake and put a file in it so he can escape from jail for murdering Christ in that cemetery.

You never know.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Update on Chris

Still, happy birthday friend!

Indeed! Happy Birthday to you, dear murderous goth liar!

[Wide-Open]

Re: Update on Chris

You don't need any proof. You just need to say "Dear Lord, please pray for chris" and thats it. and besides, I'm not going to release vital hard evidence to people who I am not even on a first name basis with, sorry.

Still, happy birthday friend!

[Roberta]

Re: Update on Chris

I'm told it means "Laugh's On Landover". It means you're trying to make fun of us, Roberta.

You're jealous of our relationship with Jesus, aren't you? You're trying to horn in on our Savior, and not because you want to be Saved™, but because you want some cheap physical thrill.

Guess what, honey? J.C. don't play that game! And if He did, he wouldn't be into some furry-pitted orangutan who brags about the spaciousness of her unkempt Volvo!

You are wrong, Jenny dear. It means "laugh out loud" and was a comical response to all Kreby's karma threats. Pastor Zeke has already given me an infraction for quoting John Lenin.

You do not have to throw barbs at me. You must be a very lonely girl and I will pray for you.

Yes, I do have a Volvo but I keep it scrupulously clean. I like to get off into the mountains so I am saving for an Audi. They are absolutely the best in the snow!

What vehicle do you use to get off?

Robbie

[JennyD]

Re: Update on Chris

This was a joke like Kerby's whole post. Don't you know what LOL means?

I'm told it means "Laugh's On Landover". It means you're trying to make fun of us, Roberta.

You're jealous of our relationship with Jesus, aren't you? You're trying to horn in on our Savior, and not because you want to be Saved(tm), but because you want some cheap physical thrill.

Guess what, honey? J.C. don't play that game! And if He did, he wouldn't be into some furry-pitted orangutan who brags about the spaciousness of her unkempt Volvo!

[Roberta]

Re: Update on Chris

This was a joke like Kerby's whole post. Don't you know what LOL means?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Update on Chris

You all better be careful what you say to Kerby because:

Instant karmas gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon youre gonna be dead

LOL!

Oh since she wished me dead for merely inquiring what happened to her Hellbound friend and we've asked time and again for details that she refuses to give we are Hellbound?

You oversexed hairy wilderdeast! You bore us to tears with your wanton sexual needs and depravity.

Oh. you'll be writhing alright....... but writhing in torture in the depths of hell where you belong.

Lve, Sister Thumper

[Roberta]

Re: Update on Chris

You all better be careful what you say to Kerby because:

Instant karmas gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon youre gonna be dead

LOL!

[JennyD]

Re: Update on Chris

I can, and I do. Why can't you help people pray?

Pray for what, exactly?

Maybe for your imaginary friend's soul? God would simply laugh at us for believing in and praying
for someone you made up, when there is absolutely no evidence
of this graveyard shooting, or even of his existence!

Why, you haven't even got a newspaper article to reference to show that SOMEONE named Christopher Straub was killed in a cemetery in Katy, Texas!

Let's assume for just a moment that your imaginary friend is actually real, and dead. To what end, exactly, would we pray? That he be resurrected? God doesn't play parlor games, nor does He create zombies for our amusement!

Would we pray that he not spend eternity in Hell, as God demands?

We are not Catholics, selling indulgences. We know that once someone dies, his fate is sealed; he has exercised his free will, chosen his path, and will reap the consequences at Judgment. Our prayers will not change your imaginary friend's future, and being mere mortals, we would never think to contradict God's Word.

[CIWY-the Boring One]

Re: Update on Chris

They found my friend who was missing. He was shot dead in an cemetary, he was hot in the head by a .45.The police found on him friday, and wednesday is the funeral. There is currently an ongoing investigation as to who would take the life of my friend.

He wont be leaving there, will he? Can I get a rimshot? Kekekekeke!

[Juliette]

Re: Update on Chris

You cannot expect us to pray for your friend without giving us some more information don't you think?

For all WE know he could be a Godless Goth who was killed in some filthy pervert sinful acts.


Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

I'm sure God would disapprove of that.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Update on Chris

and what is this D.O.F? Please will someone tell me.

Only The United States Department of Faith! duh!

http://www.whitehouse.org/dof/index.asp

[Nobar King]

Re: Update on Chris

What a relief.

[Kerby316]

Re: Update on Chris

Hm. I see. Well, I guess thats it then.