[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

Luckily for me, God doesn't listen to queer Swiss!

I know, right!

[Thomas Dalton]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

Luckily for me, God doesn't listen to queer Swiss!
John 9:31: Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.

So I think I'm okay. Thanks for your consideration.

[Kostya]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

Oops, I should have opened the thread. I did pray based on the title so....er.....you may get shot in the leg sometimes soon.

[Thomas Dalton]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

It seems like it wasn't divine punishment: it was all a ploy of the aforementioned gay cult to make me gay!
After your post, Brother Potter, I should have understood that they had recruited my mother for their nefarious purpose. It was indeed unimaginable my father would be such a poor shot, even after a few glasses of scotch, so he must have been drugged by her.
Then, the confirmation came after my foot turned black, and my mother said she "thought faith healing wasn't enough" and I should go to an hospital where those Satan-worshiping doctors would undoubtedly try to castrate me with the excuse of an "operation" so I wouldn't be a Christian anymore (Deuteronomy 23:1) and I would start raping nubile young men. After my father and I refused, of course, she drugged us, and took me to a hospital anyway. Luckily, Lord Jesus watched over me, and they only took off my lower leg instead of my tallywacker. He must have smitten them with great confusion like he does in Psalm 70:2.
The signs were so clear! Why have I ever trusted her?

Well, at least my father "corrected" the influence of the cult out of her, so she's okay now, I guess. Except her broken arm and collar bone of course, but it was a small price to pay to avoid the Great Lake of Fire.

Does anyone know a good, Christian prosthetic leg manufacturer? Shipping costs aren't a problem.

PS: That neighbor kid (the high-priest of the homos) will get what he deserves, mark my words...

[PrayerWarrior]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

That sounds a bit painful, but the Lord will see you through it. Hope you feel better soon!

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

As some of you may know, my dad and I were going hunting today.
I must have angered God in some way, since when my dad and I split up to cover more ground, he mistook me some time later for a wild animal and shot me in the leg.

I'm glad you are okay young man. But my prayers are with your father now. Is he always such a poor shot? Does he usually wing game in the legs and just hope they fall down?

The Christian hunter typically uses a large caliber, such as the .338 Winchester Magnum and aims for the heart. The goal is to explode the chest cavity, quickly put the wild beast down for good and shorten the distance that the meat must be hauled back to the truck before rendering.

Praise Jesus you are still among us, but your father needs improvement in his marksmanship.

In Christ

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

'Been bloodletting for two days now, and I have to say it's quite something!
My neighbor heard of the possible connection between his sinning son and my leg, and gave him a good trashing with the metal rod he's been keeping for special occasions. God must have liked the sacrifice of blood He got, since seeing a man hitting a smaller, bare chested boy and subsequently see the boy with bloody repentance all over his body perked me right up!

I could finally sleep today, exactly after I finished the KJV! My leg doesn't hurt anymore, and my foot even gets some color back! I do think it's not supposed to be this dark, but hey, I'm not complaining about missing the pain .

When I get up, father and I are going to find all members of the secret gay cult in my village, and do what God thinks is right. They deserve that for messing up my leg!

Oh to live in a world where people can be homosexual and not feel guilty about it. So many of them don't even hide it any more.



Come Lord Jesus.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

When I get up, father and I are going to find all members of the secret gay cult in my village, and do what God thinks is right. They deserve that for messing up my leg!

Glory Friend, Pastor Zeke has reminded us time and time again it is the secret gays posing as Christians that cause all the problems in the world.

[Thomas Dalton]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

'Been bloodletting for two days now, and I have to say it's quite something!
My neighbor heard of the possible connection between his sinning son and my leg, and gave him a good trashing with the metal rod he's been keeping for special occasions. God must have liked the sacrifice of blood He got, since seeing a man hitting a smaller, bare chested boy and subsequently see the boy with bloody repentance all over his body perked me right up!

I could finally sleep today, exactly after I finished the KJV! My leg doesn't hurt anymore, and my foot even gets some color back! I do think it's not supposed to be this dark, but hey, I'm not complaining about missing the pain .

When I get up, father and I are going to find all members of the secret gay cult in my village, and do what God thinks is right. They deserve that for messing up my leg!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

You may want to consider have a blood letting done to get the demons out. I have done this to a few of my field workers who were screaming in agony.
A little cut on the inner thigh (have a bucket handy). Continue untill the screaming stops. In some cases, the blood stops flowing so you have to squeeze the cut some.
Remember, you do not want to introduce any dirt so gloves on your hands, and plastic sheeting everywhere is a must do.

** If you get pale, a drink of water will perk you right up.

[Thomas Dalton]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

Well, I got to Matthew 2 already. It must be a sign of God I'm unable to sleep since it happened. The maid, at least, got fired, she complained she had her bastard son to take care of, but my father responded that she would have be fired prior if he had known she was a single mother.

I beg Jesus for forgiveness every hour, and so far he helped by switching off the pain in the lower part of my leg. I must have been praying quite vigorously, since also all the feeling in my foot is gone, although I wasn't hit there. The higher part of my leg still hurts like Hell must feel though.

My mother got reverend Bunjan to perform lay on hands on my leg, and he tells me that it will be alright. He suspects that there's a gay cult in the village that captures foxes to rape them, since the absence of foxes led to this incident. God may have tried to warn us before for this cult, and got angry when we refused to see the signs. (It can't be a coincidence a son of a neighbor tried to come out of the closet a week ago, before my neighbor corrected him and he went back in!)

What do you think, could I sue that boy for making God angry, causing my dad to shoot me?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

Anyone ideas on how to best beg for forgiveness?

On your knees, and garnished with a robust Love Offering to God's favorite Church.

[Thomas Dalton]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

Well, thanks for all your advice! I've been reading the Bible non-stop now since it happened to take my mind of things, but still can't sleep.
Well, at least it made me remember what was probably my sin: When a maid was cleaning the floor of the billiard room the other day, I was watching her and my... private parts kind of itched.

I thoughtlessly gave it a scratch, forgetting that Jesus may have taken this as a kind of a lesser sin of Onan and gave me a warning instead of outright killing me (Genesis 38:10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.)

I'll have the maid fired, and vigorously pray for forgiveness, in the hope the Lord will heal it properly. I will keep your advice in mind, brother Hutchins, for the event that the Lord doesn't heal it, then it's clear my father sinned, and I'm punished for his sin.

Anyone ideas on how to best beg for forgiveness?

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

I'm not sure what you are whining about here, Jesus does not approve of that. Suck it up and be a man. Your father was giving you another lesson in life, apparently you have not listened.

I must have angered God in some way, since when my dad and I split up to cover more ground, he mistook me some time later for a wild animal and shot me in the leg.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Please pray for gunshot wound in my leg

Oh rejoice!!!

Blessed is the man whom thou chastenest, O LORD, and teachest him out of thy law (Psalm 94:12-13)

You are so blessed!

My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor detest His correction;
For whom the LORD loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights. (Proverbs 3:11-12)

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? (Hebrews 12:6-7)

The LORD has clearly shown you the need to repent. You have a tight hold on some diabolical sin to warrant such a loving discipline.

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. (Revelation 3:19)

I will pray for you to find this terrible sin you have, that you will repent before God decides to send you a septic infection for his troubles.