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  • Wide-Open
    Director of European Evangelical Outreach
    A Shining Example of Christ's Love
    Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
    True Christian™
    • Nov 2007
    • 18449
    #1

    Um... Pastors... my allowance...

    I'm very sorry to bring this up here, and I feel incredibly uneasy about this, but I've sent several PM's about this and got no reply. An oversight perhaps? I know you are all very busy. And I've got nowhere else to ask. But since only men and no homers are allowed in here, I guess we are amongst ourselves anyway.

    Now, I know my record isn't looking very good. I did convert three people this year, but unfortunately two converted to Islam and the other to atheism. It can't have been the quality of my preaching, so I guess Satan is playing games with me.

    Could you ask Freehold Accounting Corp to have a look? I've tried calling Moses Weinberger, but he was on holiday (those guys have many days off it seems).

    Maybe they are having troubles, or maybe someone lost my file? I haven't had any deposits for 3 months now, which basically means I'm stuck in Ath with those giants and tarts, and it's a long walk to Brussels.

    So if you could have a look, I would appreciate it. Consider it an investment into the future.

    Yours In Christ, (and broke)

    Wide-Open
    Psalm 81:10:
    I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
    open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: Um... Pastors... my allowance...

      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Wide-Open
          Director of European Evangelical Outreach
          A Shining Example of Christ's Love
          Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
          True Christian™
          • Nov 2007
          • 18449
          #3
          Re: Um... Pastors... my allowance...

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
          I realize you are currently in Mexico Pastor. To convert Bozo the Troll isn't it? But perhaps someone else could have a word with FAC?
          Psalm 81:10:
          I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
          open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

            Comment

            • Rev. M. Rodimer
              Honorary True Christian™
              Forum Member
              • May 2008
              • 13996
              #4
              Re: Um... Pastors... my allowance...

              Brother Wide-Open, perhaps Landover should use a system like my church does. We have a referral system, you see.

              When Member A brings in a new member (Member , Member A receives 45% of Member B's first tithe, and a 9% residual thereafter.

              When Member B brings in Member C, Member B then receives 50% of Member C's first tithe, and a 9% residual. Member A, who brought in Member B, also receives 5% of Member C's first tithe, and 1% of Member C's regular tithe.

              Several of our members supplement their retirement incomes in this manner. However, most of our members donate their share to particular church ministries, or start new ones. It's a great way to improve outreach!

              I imagine if Landover had a system of this nature, with your record, you'd . . . er, well, you'd be on the dole.

              Have you considered employment with a local Chick-Fil-A restaurant? I understand their Christian ownership will permit you to distribute Chick tracts as "fill-a" in the bag with a customer's order.
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                Comment

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