Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Gentlemen:


If you haven't entered Naomi's Moist Pie lately, you're missing something!


ALL Naomi's Moist Pie locations now offer a special back room for our gentlemen patrons where our highly trained, experienced employees will allow you to taste the many flavors available so you can make an educated decision as to which pie you like best! Imagine having a private area where you can get your tongue titillated by such temptations as Naomi's Lemon-love, Chocolate Cream with Strawberry Honey, and our best seller, Naomi's Deep Delight, with rich and creamy toppings sure to satisfy!


For a limited time, our Des Moines and Freehold locations offer men only a 25% discount when you visit the private (and secure!) back door entrance. Always free parking and lots and lots of Christian love! We're known for it!


As always, unsaved unwelcome! Ladies, please use the main entrance and wait your turn.


Lovingly, your dearest friend,
NRL


PS: Don't be shy! You haven't been served until you've had service from Naomi's Moist Pie(TM)!

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

Miss Lamb:


I visited the Naomi's Moist Pie location on 23rd Street near the PATH train station Saturday and I've never been so impressed. When I mentioned that I knew you personally, not only was service quick and enthusiastic, but I was given royal treatment. They even gave Tommy a free piece of the Mulberry Messiah pie and presented us both with a coupon for 10 percent off our next visit.


I like that prayer is required before patrons are allowed to dine. The readings from scripture that replace the normal muzak found in other restaurants is particularly effective. One thing that makes your restaurant even more unique is separate seating for male patrons in the plush dining room while females are on folded chairs in a side room.


May God continue to bless your efforts, Sister.


BrotherLarry

[Jimmy-Roy Stewart]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

Hi their Naomi i got a idea for a food business and cause your successful id love to talk about it with you when i make my sausage rolls for the mens fellowship all the men especially the pastors love them i wonder if i could start a business making my sausage rolls what do you think?

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

Miss Lamb:


I visited the Naomi's Moist Pie location on 23rd Street near the PATH train station Saturday and I've never been so impressed. When I mentioned that I knew you personally, not only was service quick and enthusiastic, but I was given royal treatment. They even gave Tommy a free piece of the Mulberry Messiah pie and presented us both with a coupon for 10 percent off our next visit.


I like that prayer is required before patrons are allowed to dine. The readings from scripture that replace the normal muzak found in other restaurants is particularly effective. One thing that makes your restaurant even more unique is separate seating for male patrons in the plush dining room while females are on folded chairs in a side room.


May God continue to bless your efforts, Sister.


BrotherLarry

Well, hello there, young man!
It was so nice of you to share your experience with our New York location. I am always looking for young men like you, willing to work tirelessly, so let me know if you're ever in need of something to do when the horses just don't satisfy anymore.


I will also be looking for someone to take care of my property in Freehold while I am away on trips. There is plenty of living space in my home and of course it has a separate quarters if that would be more appropriate. I would of course expect you to conduct yourself as a reputable gentleman since I have a reputation to uphold.


Thank you again for your kind words about my restaurant. I hope you'll visit again soon!


In Jesus,

NRL

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

Hi their Naomi i got a idea for a food business and cause your successful id love to talk about it with you when i make my sausage rolls for the mens fellowship all the men especially the pastors love them i wonder if i could start a business making my sausage rolls what do you think?

Mr. Stewart,


I'm sorry but I don't think we've been properly introduced. Before I speak with you about any sort of business venture, why not tell me a little more about yourself? I note your location as being "pastor's garage." What exactly does that mean and which pastor?


I would like to encourage you to believe in your dreams; I would, however, need to sample your sausage roll before making a decision as to its probability of being a money maker. Perhaps we could arrange a tasting on my visit to Freehold when I hold my book signing. Would your wife like a copy of my latest book?


In our Savior,
NRL

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

If you have need for an impartial judge, I would like to offer myself as a 3rd party to this menage. In Europe I have developed a refined taste for sausage in addition to my natural affinity for pie. There is a stiff learning curve, believe me!

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

If you have need for an impartial judge, I would like to offer myself as a 3rd party to this menage. In Europe I have developed a refined taste for sausage in addition to my natural affinity for pie. There is a stiff learning curve, believe me!

Brother Dr. Anthony,
I agree wholeheartedly with you. It definitely does take a bit of getting but, once you get used to the taste, one must admit European Sausage is best.


TT

[Des]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

I was excited to try the Lemon-love, but when I saw it I was a bit let down. I settled for two Peanut butter Passions instead. Both went down quite nicely, but I was really hoping for a more exotic flavor.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

Sister Naomi,


Last time I was in I tried the hot buttered vanilla muffin. Next time I visit I hope you have some of the hot buttered chocolate muffins left. Apparently Brother Larry had had the lot.


YIC
TT

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

Sister Naomi,


Last time I was in I tried the hot buttered vanilla muffin. Next time I visit I hope you have some of the hot buttered chocolate muffins left. Apparently Brother Larry had had the lot.


YIC
TT

Dearest Brother in Christ,


Thank you for visiting Naomi's Moist Pie. We are sorry that you were unable to enjoy our chocolate muffins. Please call ahead prior to your next visit and we will ensure that a batch is waiting for you! While there, why not take my pie home as a special taste treat for later? So many choices are available for you.


In service to the Lord,
NRL

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

I was excited to try the Lemon-love, but when I saw it I was a bit let down. I settled for two Peanut butter Passions instead. Both went down quite nicely, but I was really hoping for a more exotic flavor.

Brother Des,


I am always committed to ensuring the satisfaction of our brother Christians and I am so disappointed that my lemon love didn't meet your expectations. The freshest ingredients are used daily and our exacting standards are the backbone of our business. Each pie is prayed for before it leaves our oven. I have spoken with the former manager of that location who was fired immediately when I learned that day-old lemons were used and my special ingredient was not included when your serving was prepared.

Won't you please accept my apologies and also a free coupon for anything of your choice from my menu? We'll be sure to make you leave with a smile on your face!


A servant of the Most High,
NRL

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

What on earth is going on here? At the top of the page it says: "Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!"
So why is a lowly woman posting on here. She belongs in the kitchen, in the women's section of the forum. I thought this was a safe place for we men, where we didn't have to put up with whiners or harlots.

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

Greetings Naomi! I am very impressed by the descriptions I have heard of your pie. Are any of your locations situated in or near Washington DC? I am a student at Georgetown University which is located nearby in the garrison of Georgetown. Do you serve Black men at your establishment? I have large white teeth and well oiled dreadlocks like Fab Morvan of Milli Vanilli. I also have a charming Jamaican accent and good table manners which I learned at the Methodist School in Tivoli Gardens.

[Des]

Re: Have You Had Naomi's Pie Lately?

Greetings Naomi! I am very impressed by the descriptions I have heard of your pie. Are any of your locations situated in or near Washington DC? I am a student at Georgetown University which is located nearby in the garrison of Georgetown. Do you serve Black men at your establishment? I have large white teeth and well oiled dreadlocks like Fab Morvan of Milli Vanilli. I also have a charming Jamaican accent and good table manners which I learned at the Methodist School in Tivoli Gardens.

I'm not sure I would want to eat there after one of those...island people did. I might catch something from a dish he ate from. Those close island quarters are germ factories for all sorts of things.


I also heard they are notorious for their international pie stealing rings. I may even have a few documentaries on the subject buried in my DVD collection.