Get Guns out of Schools?

[Michael Hezekiah Esq]

Sometimes it's hard to be a lawyer
Giving all you got to practice law
You love Jesus, and Jesus loves you,
Guiding you with His big loving hand.
So if you're a lawyer, you must be a good one
Even though it's hard to understand
And I'm a lawyer, a real good lawyer
But of course, I'm also just a man.

I began this post with a personally written song (to the tune of Stand by Your Man), hoping you will all understand that sometimes a lawyer has to do what a lawyer has to do. I have been asked to represent the people of the school district of South San Francisco as they seek to keep guns out of their schools. I've been approached to look over their planned proposal that will make it a class A felony to have a gun in your car when you bring your child to school and makes it a mandatory 50 year jail sentence if your child is found to be carrying a gun inside school property. I know this won't be very popular among citizens of Freehold, who have been sending guns to school with their children for years. I believe your schools were the first to offer Marksmanship as a credit course to 3rd graders. What an honor.

So please understand this is how I make money, and I mean in no way to let this suit spread to other states and infringe upon your 10 year old's right to have a 9 mm in his backpack. Perhaps you can pray accordingly both for me and the people of South San Francisco? Oh, I should also tell you that buried in the pages of their proposal is a clause that will make it a felony to harass LGBTQ children in any way and makes it a crime to try to change a person's sexual orientation. Um - sorry!

Seeking the Holy Spirit Baptism,
Mike H

[Des]

Re: Get Guns out of Schools?

Sometimes it's hard to be a lawyer
Giving all you got to practice law
You love Jesus, and Jesus loves you,
Guiding you with His big loving hand.
So if you're a lawyer, you must be a good one
Even though it's hard to understand
And I'm a lawyer, a real good lawyer
But of course, I'm also just a man.

I began this post with a personally written song (to the tune of Stand by Your Man), hoping you will all understand that sometimes a lawyer has to do what a lawyer has to do. I have been asked to represent the people of the school district of South San Francisco as they seek to keep guns out of their schools. I've been approached to look over their planned proposal that will make it a class A felony to have a gun in your car when you bring your child to school and makes it a mandatory 50 year jail sentence if your child is found to be carrying a gun inside school property. I know this won't be very popular among citizens of Freehold, who have been sending guns to school with their children for years. I believe your schools were the first to offer Marksmanship as a credit course to 3rd graders. What an honor.

So please understand this is how I make money, and I mean in no way to let this suit spread to other states and infringe upon your 10 year old's right to have a 9 mm in his backpack. Perhaps you can pray accordingly both for me and the people of South San Francisco? Oh, I should also tell you that buried in the pages of their proposal is a clause that will make it a felony to harass LGBTQ children in any way and makes it a crime to try to change a person's sexual orientation. Um - sorry!

Seeking the Holy Spirit Baptism,
Mike H

I prayed on this matter, and in my prayers it was revealed to me that God wants you to throw the case. In fact, God wants you to throw the case so
badly that it becomes mandatory for San Francisco students to not only be armed at all times, but that they are required by law to shoot homersexual children on sight.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Get Guns out of Schools?

Hiya Mike,
Taking guns out of school is like taking God out of the Bible. It just doesn't make sense. If my younger sons could have carried guns to school I am sure my eldest would have turned out differently.


YIC
TT

[Michael Hezekiah Esq]

Re: Get Guns out of Schools?

Thom, Your eldest is just fine, thank you very much - now that he is away from your incessant ridicule. I wouldn't recommend a journey to Canada any time soon, Mr. Taylor. And you still owe me $14,000.

[Michael Hezekiah Esq]

Re: Get Guns out of Schools?

I prayed on this matter, and in my prayers it was revealed to me that God wants you to throw the case. In fact, God wants you to throw the case so
badly that it becomes mandatory for San Francisco students to not only be armed at all times, but that they are required by law to shoot homersexual children on sight.

If Jesus showed you such a vision, then I shall withdraw from the case. What is more important? Money, or Heaven?


Michael H.
Atty at Law

[Des]

Re: Get Guns out of Schools?

If Jesus showed you such a vision, then I shall withdraw from the case. What is more important? Money, or Heaven?


Michael H.
Atty at Law

No no no no no! Throw the case, not withdraw. They still have to cover your legal fees.


Think of it as taking one for the team. You Jews are good at team work. Like when a bunch of you teamed up to have Jesus killed.

[Michael Hezekiah Esq]

Re: Get Guns out of Schools?

No no no no no! Throw the case, not withdraw. They still have to cover your legal fees.


Think of it as taking one for the team. You Jews are good at team work. Like when a bunch of you teamed up to have Jesus killed.

But wouldn't that be dishonest? Wouldn't Christ want me to do this the right way? And are you praying for me to receive the baptism in the Holy Ghost or just blabbering on about other things?


I will take the case, but I must be in prayer about it and seek what God would have me to do. This is not something I can do with no thought of my professional ethics.


I will talk to my Pentecostal pastor and see what his opinion is. I know he owns a gun. And the ROMANS conspired to kill Christ.


Prayerful and seeking the Holy Ghost,
Mike H

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Get Guns out of Schools?

Thom, Your eldest is just fine, thank you very much - now that he is away from your incessant ridicule. I wouldn't recommend a journey to Canada any time soon, Mr. Taylor. And you still owe me $14,000.

Dear Mike,


My eldest is dead to me. I have cast him aside and he is become naught but chaff in the wind to me.
Your check is in the post. Minus deductions for wasting my time by having me write it, it came to $0.25.


Yours,
Mr. Taylor.

[Des]

Re: Get Guns out of Schools?

But wouldn't that be dishonest? Wouldn't Christ want me to do this the right way?

I know you joos are adverse to reading the Bible, but had you bothered to, you would know that it is OK to lie for a righteous cause.


Romans 3:7 For if the truth of God hath more abounded through my lie unto his glory; why yet am I also judged as a sinner?

Look, this isn't rocket surgery. This is simple logic. Charlton Hedston played Moses, right? Moses was a Jew. Charlton Heston was also the spokesman for the NRA. Would God have let Charlton Heston play Moses and be spokesman for the NRA and not strike him down if God didn't want school boys to be armed? No He would not. God loves America, and America loves guns. Therefore, God loves guns.

[Michael Hezekiah Esq]

Re: Get Guns out of Schools?

I know you joos are adverse to reading the Bible, but had you bothered to, you would know that it is OK to lie for a righteous cause.


Romans 3:7 For if the truth of God hath more abounded through my lie unto his glory; why yet am I also judged as a sinner?

Look, this isn't rocket surgery. This is simple logic. Charlton Hedston played Moses, right? Moses was a Jew. Charlton Heston was also the spokesman for the NRA. Would God have let Charlton Heston play Moses and be spokesman for the NRA and not strike him down if God didn't want school boys to be armed? No He would not. God loves America, and America loves guns. Therefore, God loves guns.

I AM NOT A "JOO!!!!!" I am Jewish, and of that I am pleased, knowing that I am one of G_d's chosen! Your logic is ridiculous and your outfit is cheap and out of style.


Awaiting Messiah,
Mike H.
Atty at Law