[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

You must eat cooter mushrooms as well

How in the heck can you pre-steal something? Also you shouldn't refer to cunnilingus as muff munching. It's very disrespectful towards the act, the vagina and women in general.

[Dwayne DeKalb]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

Good suggestion Brother Lee, I think we can make an arguement that these tongue techniques were created by God to spread His Holy Word® and Satan pre-stole them for muff munching to mock Jesus.

How in the heck can you pre-steal something? Also you shouldn't refer to cunnilingus as muff munching. It's very disrespectful towards the act, the vagina and women in general.

[Jed_Cassidy]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

As I complete my journey in becoming a True Christian™, I pledge to practice these tongue exercises every night from 2am-9am every day of the week in order to spread the Lord's Word in a more Righteous manner. This, Brothers (most importantly, Sisters) I promise you.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

I don't think I've ever seen anything like that before. It's a shame we can't send a copy o it to every student at every Bible college in the country. as a love gift.

Good suggestion Brother Lee, I think we can make an arguement that these tongue techniques were created by God to spread His Holy Word(r) and Satan pre-stole them for muff munching to mock Jesus.

[Larry Lee]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

While further researching the revolting subject of cunnilingus, I discovered the exercises listed below. Apparently cunnilingus is quite tiring, and one needs to build up stamina. While I certainly do not condone "yodeling in the gully," I believe these exercises are useful in strengthening the tongue for extended periods of proselytizing. I urge all Landover men to perform these exercises daily so we are fully prepared to teach God's Word to others.

I don't think I've ever seen anything like that before. It's a shame we can't send a copy o it to every student at every Bible college in the country. as a love gift.

[KingJames]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

I am unworthy of Landover Baptist.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

The last thing I need is some stinky tuna salad stuck in my mustache all day long.

Grow up.

[Dr. Zaius]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

The last thing I need is some stinky tuna salad stuck in my mustache all day long.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

While further researching the revolting subject of cunnilingus, I discovered the exercises listed below. Apparently cunnilingus is quite tiring, and one needs to build up stamina. While I certainly do not condone "yodeling in the gully," I believe these exercises are useful in strengthening the tongue for extended periods of proselytizing. I urge all Landover men to perform these exercises daily so we are fully prepared to teach God's Word to others.

Exercise 1:
Stick your tongue as far out of your mouth as possible, and then try to touch your nose. Once you are in this position, hold the same muscle groups still and begin moving your tongue around. Practice in sets, moving the tongue clockwise, counterclockwise, and up and down.

Exercise 2:
With a loose jaw, point your tongue while simultaneously trying to keep your tongue in constant contact with the top and bottom your mouth. Once you are in this position, practice moving your tongue in and out of your mouth. For the more advanced student, try keeping your mouth closed and circling your tongue around inside of it, while of course, maintaining position. An extension to the advanced exercise is trying to dissolve a lifesaver held in your teeth from the inside out.

Exercise 3:
Stick your tongue straight out of your mouth, trying to keep your tongue flat and relaxed. Slowly, while holding the position, practice curling the wide tip of the tongue upward, downward and side-to-side. Practice in five sets of ten, holding each move for 2 seconds.

Exercise 4:
Keep your tongue relaxed and open your mouth. Move your tongue in and out of your mouth forwards and in both directions. Practice in five sets of twenty.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

Aaron, once again, you are ugly. Please don't talk.

Excuse me?

I'd just like to make sure you said what I thought you said.

Yep, there it is.

Listen you little creep, you come into OUR forum and start insulting us, that is too much!

Do I go to where you work and tell you how service men for money?

You're on a short road to getting banned! So keep it up!

[Melbran]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

What are you talking about? What are these "BJ'S"? And three exclamation points should be sufficient for emphasis.

Aaron, once again, you are ugly. Please don't talk.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

Well in that case....no BJ'S either!!!!!!!! It's only fair

What are you talking about? What are these "BJ'S"? And three exclamation points should be sufficient for emphasis.

[Melbran]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

Well in that case....no BJ'S either!!!!!!!! It's only fair

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

The Unsaved© harvest them to put on their pizzas Brother Hatchet. There is no helping them.

YIC

It can be difficult to have a mature conversation on these holy forums. Cooter mushrooms are serious business. I wish the Unsaved© would realize that.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Mustache Rides and You (MEN OF FAITH ONLY!!!!!!!!)

What if he posted naked pictures of himself smearing feces all over his yellow chest?

The despicable monkey practically did that in my birthday thread.