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Gentlemen, I'd like to broach a delicate subject. Many of you are confused about how to correctly position your tallywackers in your jockeys. The answer is "up."
The tallywacker shouldn't rest on the beanbag--it runs the risk of skin-on-skin friction, and since we are strictly talking about male skin here, that would make the tallywacker's proprietor GAY.
Also, wearing it down poses a problem for men who are more than adequately supplied in the groin. When it comes to the Hatchman©, the Lord gaveth, and He kept on giving. My trousers, no matter how loose-fitting, always have an enticing, mountainous bulge if my pecker is down. Consequently, I put wanton thoughts in the heads of countless women. Placing my johnny in the up position helps to avoid all of this.
Not only should you be mindful about the kinds of thoughts you are instilling in the ladies, you should be concerned about your thoughts as well. The dong is basically an antenna. When it is up, it is tuned to heavenly broadcasts. When down, it is pointing towards the Devil, receiving all sorts of wicked transmissions. The last time I had my wang down, I had salacious thoughts about Pastor Billy-Reuben's wife. Obviously I was picking up sinful signals from Satan*.
I used to have a hard time keeping it up. It was always falling down and flopping around. Then the Holy Spirit gave me a brilliant idea--tie a knot around it with pubic hair to keep it in place. Now I'm anchored and ready to serve the Lord.
How you wear your tallywacker in your underpants is a pretty good indicator of where you'll be going in the afterlife. Make sure you keep yours in a locked and upright position. Your soul depends on it.
*And Pastor Billy-Reuben's wife.
The tallywacker shouldn't rest on the beanbag--it runs the risk of skin-on-skin friction, and since we are strictly talking about male skin here, that would make the tallywacker's proprietor GAY.
Also, wearing it down poses a problem for men who are more than adequately supplied in the groin. When it comes to the Hatchman©, the Lord gaveth, and He kept on giving. My trousers, no matter how loose-fitting, always have an enticing, mountainous bulge if my pecker is down. Consequently, I put wanton thoughts in the heads of countless women. Placing my johnny in the up position helps to avoid all of this.
Not only should you be mindful about the kinds of thoughts you are instilling in the ladies, you should be concerned about your thoughts as well. The dong is basically an antenna. When it is up, it is tuned to heavenly broadcasts. When down, it is pointing towards the Devil, receiving all sorts of wicked transmissions. The last time I had my wang down, I had salacious thoughts about Pastor Billy-Reuben's wife. Obviously I was picking up sinful signals from Satan*.
I used to have a hard time keeping it up. It was always falling down and flopping around. Then the Holy Spirit gave me a brilliant idea--tie a knot around it with pubic hair to keep it in place. Now I'm anchored and ready to serve the Lord.
How you wear your tallywacker in your underpants is a pretty good indicator of where you'll be going in the afterlife. Make sure you keep yours in a locked and upright position. Your soul depends on it.
*And Pastor Billy-Reuben's wife.
So now I know why... anyway...
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