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  • #31
    Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

    Originally posted by Anesthesia View Post
    I am a woman.

    Masturbation is a natural want and feeling. Animals masturbate and they can't sin at all. So if God doesn't strike them down, then God won't strike you down.
    Animals do sin! Haven't you seen all those gay penguins in zoos! Thankfully God does smite them:



    Also, masturbation helps keep your male organs healthy. Want to avoid prostate cancer? Better masturbate!
    That's a lie told by the lieberal "scientists" to get more people to masturbate for Satan, don't be decieved!

    I masturbate and I'm not ashamed! (Remember: shame and pride are two different things.)
    Of course, pride is a sin, shame is a virtue
    Job 40:15-18 Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox. Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly. He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together. His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.

    Comment


    • #32
      Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

      I've heard that it's good luck to find a freshly eaten penguin inside of your seal after you BBQ it.
      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

        Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
        I've heard that it's good luck to find a freshly eaten penguin inside of your seal after you BBQ it.
        It always brings me good luck, at least, but I'm not superstitious, I just think is God blessing me. Mmmm, now I have a craving for baby seal brains
        Job 40:15-18 Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox. Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly. He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together. His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.

        Comment


        • #34
          Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment


          • #35
            Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST NOT BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. By associating with other people having the same weakness, the two of you can become stronger as a team. Don't suppose that two of you will quit separately, you never will. You must stick together with people who share your depravity. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken seriously for it to be wiped out. Your mind must be focused on other and more wholesome things. Read the Bible!
            Praise Pastor Ezekiel!

            I have a question, however. How does one know when one is in the presence of another sinner of this variety?

            If I am to avoid these people, how will I know how to spot them?
            Beware the cabal of Jews and bears; they are of their father the Devil!

            Comment


            • #36
              Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

              Originally posted by John Frink View Post
              Praise Pastor Ezekiel!

              I have a question, however. How does one know when one is in the presence of another sinner of this variety?

              If I am to avoid these people, how will I know how to spot them?
              Well, you could just ask them.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

                Or even worse, just take note of proffered sticky fingers . . .
                Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

                  How do I bring that up in a conversation?

                  Hey Bob, great lawn, are you an Onanist?
                  Beware the cabal of Jews and bears; they are of their father the Devil!

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

                    Maybe you should stop thinking about penises so much and get your head into your BIBLE!
                    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

                      While I applaud his intentions, THIS filthy hippie rock and roller's technique cannot be reccommended. Tattoos are as grave a sin as spanking your monkey.

                      Masturbation cure: tattoo "Jesus" on your hand


                      I laughed when someone first told me this so I wanted ot share it. First off, for those who aren't aware, Brian "Head" Welch is the former KoRn guitarist that left the band once he formed a relationship with "God". Since then he has been baptized in the Jordan River, released an album and wrote a book.
                      In a 2005 interview Brian said (in regard to how much he obeys "God"), "For example, the Jesus tattoo on my hand keeps me from masturbating and I haven't been with a woman since my ex-wife left me almost five years ago. I go to those extremes to be like Christ and it works for me."
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

                        Originally posted by Ammiel Habakuk View Post
                        Generally I just need to see this picture, and all masturbation thoughts disappear:

                        That would be enough to put anyone off
                        The glory of the LORD went up from the cherub, and stood over the threshold of the house; and the house was filled with the cloud, and the court was full of the brightness of the LORD's glory

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

                          4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Do not flex your muscles. Do not imagine yourself as attractive or sexy. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.
                          Is Jesus an advocate of self-deprecation?
                          A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

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                          • #43
                            Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

                            Originally posted by Ixi View Post
                            Is Jesus an advocate of self-deprecation?
                            Well, yes and no

                            On one hand, God says:
                            Proverbs 16:18
                            Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
                            So you don't want to be checking yourself out too much or thinking that you're all hot stuff. On the other hand . . .

                            1 Corinthians 6:19
                            What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
                            Your body is God's temple, so you should respect it and take care of it. And not abuse it with tattoos, piercings, sex, and drugs.

                            So it is good for God, and good for us!
                            _
                            _

                            Proverbs 27:17
                            Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
                            Romans 1:20
                            For the invisible things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:
                            2 Timothy 2:15
                            Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

                            ___________________
                            Connect with me on:
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                            • #44
                              Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

                              Originally posted by David Goldman View Post
                              Well, yes and no

                              So you don't want to be checking yourself out too much or thinking that you're all hot stuff. On the other hand . . .
                              Oh please, I think I'm sexy. Jesus having a problem with it is irrelevant.
                              A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

                                First of all, please forgive me Jesus for posting in the men's forum, especially on such sensitive subject. But I do have a son and my husband and I have tackled this issue with him.

                                Unfortunately, My son Skeeter's bed was literally wearing holes through the floor of his bedroom. And there were times that I thought Skeeter's dirty sheets might cause our maid to get pregnant. So the Lord called upon me to act. Anyway, I found this perfect bed for Skeeter. These beds are available from most prison supply companies.
                                Attached Files
                                Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

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