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  • #1

    Easter Dinner Expectations

    Well Im expecting a perfect ham, buttery mashed potatoes, tender green beans with onion and bacon, warm rolls from the oven, and homemade pecan pie with vanilla ice cream. But don't waste any time making a relish tray! Wouldn't mind a few cool ones as well!

    PS Women should quietly gather in the kitchen before and after dinner!
    Investment Portfolio = Canned Goods, Automatic Weapons and a KJV1611 Bible!
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  • #2
    Re: Easter Dinner Expectations

    Originally posted by Elmer Christianson View Post
    PS Women should quietly gather in the kitchen before and after dinner!
    After they have served the men they should eat in the kitchen too. Saves us from all the needless female noise.


    Leviticus 26:27-29

    27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
    28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
    29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

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    • #3
      Re: Easter Dinner Expectations

      To me, it really doesn't feel like Easter unless there is a turkey AND a ham. Is that too much to ask? I think not. I mean after all, it was Eve who got us all run out of the Garden of Eden. If she hadn't screwed up, Jesus wouldn't have had to come down here and temporarily sacrifice Himself for Eve's original sin! So, to all you wives and mothers out there, a little piece of advice:

      Show some respect for Jesus and your True Christian™ husbands and sons and lets have a proper Easter dinner with all the trimmings. You owe us at least that much.

      I've flown my mother into town so she can cook for me. It's just the two of us, as my father is with Jesus and my kids are with their unsaved mothers. On Monday, if anyone wants to come over for leftovers, please do. I usually just throw out whatever is left on Tuesday.
      sigpic


      Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



      God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



      Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

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      • #4
        Re: Easter Dinner Expectations

        I like a full spread for my Easter feast, just as Jesus no doubt did. I want the ham of course; a huge Virginia smoked ham on a platter, surrounded by new potatoes and baby carrots. A nice fat Tom turkey is always welcome on my table too. But the thing I look forward to the most is a nice leg of lamb, roasted on a spit, with a side of mint jelly. My servants put out a nice spread.

        My only problem this year is that Sister Thumper's mother is in town visiting for the Spring holidays. She is a bit....well....

        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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        • #5
          Re: Easter Dinner Expectations

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

          My only problem this year is that Sister Thumper's mother is in town visiting for the Spring holidays. She is a bit....well....
          I see what you mean. Good thing Thumper does the cooking.
          sigpic

          I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

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          • #6
            Re: Easter Dinner Expectations

            I nearly beat some sense into my wife today.
            As I was reading what you Godly Men are expecting, my lazy wench brings me bangers and mash!
            Easter dinner, and she puts this filth in front of me.
            I'm still disgusted, Brothers.
            I pray the Good Lord blessed you well on this Day of Celebration.

            He is Risen!
            Save me from the Godless UK!

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