I think I hurt my self

[Emil Sledge]

Hank downstairs and me we went over to Geenas catlick church tonight just to have fun watchin all the silly things they do and we got throwed out and when we was walkin back to the Motel 6 Hank had some money and he said we needed to stop at this one bar just for a quick drink. Well we went in there and there was girls in there dancin around in just there underpants and Hank he wanted to sit right by the edge of the table that had a fire pole and this girl she was dancin with the pole in her underpants. I had to pee right away cause that beer. I came back and Hank said sit down here and I did and this girl in her underpants she had a big time wedgy by the way and she wanted to sit on my lap and Hank gave her ten dollers. She sat on my lap but she wouldnt sit still at all and right away I thought I had to pee again so i went in a hurry to the bathroom but I couldnt pee so I came back and there she was again wantin to sit on my lap. I sat down cause Hank made me and this time she sat on my lap and rubbed her cans in my face and she wouldnt sit still at all and I was sur e I had to pee again so I said I had to go again and she got up so I could. But I couldnt pee again and I went back and sat down and Hank gave me some dollers and made me put them in the edge of her underpants and I did but I wanted to leave real bad so Hank he says ok but he was gonna stay so I walked the rest a the way back to the Motel 6 by my self. I think I shouldnt a let her wiggle around on my lap cause I think maybe she hurt me cause now my walnuts are hurting real bad now and I dont know what I did. Maybe should I go the emergincy room? I cant sleep cause they hurt so bad. Any a you guys ever have this kind a problem. Is Jesus punishing me for seein a gal in her underpants and lettin her sit in my lap and rubbin her cans in my face. I knowed it was wrong but Hank he said Id be a big pannywaist if I didnt let her sit on me. Oh boy please dont say nothin to any a the gals on this forum please cause I dont want none a them to know. I think I maybe sinned but my nuts are hurtin so bad Im pretty sure Jesus is punishin me for my sin. What can I do to make them not hurt so much? Please help.

[Hank]

Re: I think I hurt my self

Rub some ice onem Emil they'll be better

[Lola Handcock]

Re: I think I hurt my self

Hank downstairs and me we went over to Geenas catlick church tonight just to have fun watchin all the silly things they do and we got throwed out and when we was walkin back to the Motel 6 Hank had some money and he said we needed to stop at this one bar just for a quick drink. Well we went in there and there was girls in there dancin around in just there underpants and Hank he wanted to sit right by the edge of the table that had a fire pole and this girl she was dancin with the pole in her underpants. I had to pee right away cause that beer. I came back and Hank said sit down here and I did and this girl in her underpants she had a big time wedgy by the way and she wanted to sit on my lap and Hank gave her ten dollers. She sat on my lap but she wouldnt sit still at all and right away I thought I had to pee again so i went in a hurry to the bathroom but I couldnt pee so I came back and there she was again wantin to sit on my lap. I sat down cause Hank made me and this time she sat on my lap and rubbed her cans in my face and she wouldnt sit still at all and I was sur e I had to pee again so I said I had to go again and she got up so I could. But I couldnt pee again and I went back and sat down and Hank gave me some dollers and made me put them in the edge of her underpants and I did but I wanted to leave real bad so Hank he says ok but he was gonna stay so I walked the rest a the way back to the Motel 6 by my self. I think I shouldnt a let her wiggle around on my lap cause I think maybe she hurt me cause now my walnuts are hurting real bad now and I dont know what I did. Maybe should I go the emergincy room? I cant sleep cause they hurt so bad. Any a you guys ever have this kind a problem. Is Jesus punishing me for seein a gal in her underpants and lettin her sit in my lap and rubbin her cans in my face. I knowed it was wrong but Hank he said Id be a big pannywaist if I didnt let her sit on me. Oh boy please dont say nothin to any a the gals on this forum please cause I dont want none a them to know. I think I maybe sinned but my nuts are hurtin so bad Im pretty sure Jesus is punishin me for my sin. What can I do to make them not hurt so much? Please help.

EMIL I aint REAL happy

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I think I hurt my self

EMIL I aint REAL happy

Lady, what are you doing in here? This section of the forum is for MEN ONLY.

Unless you've got something hiding in your pantaloons that shouldn't be there, you've got no business in here snooping around.

[Hank]

Re: I think I hurt my self

EMIL I aint REAL happy

Dear Lordy what is she doing in here? We discuss intimate sensitive issues here thinking only MEN read them.

[Emil Sledge]

Re: I think I hurt my self

Brother Hank I dont think Lolas gonna come pokin around in here no more. Shes goin to Injunaplis tomorow to find out about her dead nancy husbands money so shell be gone anyhoo. She said the truckers she know said I got the blue balls from that girl in her underpants at that bar. Did I? It still hurts some tonight but at least I think Ill be sleepin tonight like I couldnt last night even at all. I aint never had nothin hurt like that last night and I never wanna go through that again no way. Ill never let no body sit on my lap again if I got the blue balls from it. I never knew that someone sittin on your lap could do that. I checked and they aint blue and they never was. I spose Jesus was pretty ticked off at me last night and I cant say I blame him. I musta deserved it and I aint never goin to any place where any body wanna sit in my lap no more for ever and ever and ever amen. Praise and Glory to His name!

[Hank]

Re: I think I hurt my self

Brother Hank I dont think Lolas gonna come pokin around in here no more. Shes goin to Injunaplis tomorow to find out about her dead nancy husbands money so shell be gone anyhoo. She said the truckers she know said I got the blue balls from that girl in her underpants at that bar. Did I? It still hurts some tonight but at least I think Ill be sleepin tonight like I couldnt last night even at all. I aint never had nothin hurt like that last night and I never wanna go through that again no way. Ill never let no body sit on my lap again if I got the blue balls from it. I never knew that someone sittin on your lap could do that. I checked and they aint blue and they never was. I spose Jesus was pretty ticked off at me last night and I cant say I blame him. I musta deserved it and I aint never goin to any place where any body wanna sit in my lap no more for ever and ever and ever amen. Praise and Glory to His name!

huh?

[Blakeyoung]

Re: I think I hurt my self

Emil, I may have the ability to help you with this reference to blue balls. Blue balls does not refer to the literal colour of your testes; it in fact refers to a sharp, intense pain that has occurred through you being sexually stimulated (which is perhaps the fault of the lady on your lap) and not ejaculating. Generally speaking, the ordinary heathen, would either find another woman to help him ejaculate, or do it himself. Of course being the Christian man you are you would do neither of these and as such all I can suggest is waiting it out.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I think I hurt my self

Emil -

Your "walnuts" hurt because you have offended God.

As it is written,

1. Matthew 5:29-30
   And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
   
   And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

I think you know what God wants you to do.

[Emil Sledge]

Re: I think I hurt my self

Emil, I may have the ability to help you with this reference to blue balls. Blue balls does not refer to the literal colour of your testes; it in fact refers to a sharp, intense pain that has occurred through you being sexually stimulated (which is perhaps the fault of the lady on your lap) and not ejaculating. Generally speaking, the ordinary heathen, would either find another woman to help him ejaculate, or do it himself. Of course being the Christian man you are you would do neither of these and as such all I can suggest is waiting it out.

Thank you Blakeyoung. I think I see why I deserved the blue balls which feel lots better today. I aint been studyin with Marge over to the Morning Star Baptist church lately cause she been awful busy what with Pastor Merle bein gone. Shes been ejaculating me on how to read and write better for a couple months and Pastor Merle he been ejacluating me on the King James Bible but since he been gone Pastor Mick he said hed take over ejcaulating me but he been awful busy. I aint been readin my 1611 King James Bible as much as I was before Pastor Merle left and I promise Jesus right now that my King James Bible readin aint never gonna take a back seat to nothin ever again. I got a job now and I wanna be a ejauclated man so I can ask Lola if shed let me start courtin her. She reads and writes real good so maybe she might start ejaculating me on that. And if some day I can move to Freehold like I want to then maybe one a the Pastors there can help me to become more ejacluated on the 1611KJV Bible too.

Im gonna ask Lola soon as she gets back from Injunaplis if maybe she might let me start courtin her and and maybe I might could even take her to wife and move to Freehold and my ejauclation can start right away.

Thanks again Blakeyoung. I hope Jesus will love you some day like he do me and that he never has to give you the blue balls to teach you the same lesson he teached me.

[Bob4God]

Re: I think I hurt my self

I checked and they aint blue and they never was.

Let me get this straight, you actually took off your pants and made an effort to look at yourself to see if something was wrong!!?

The devil has tricked you into sinning against GOD! One must never, ever look at oneself naked for fear of thinking dirty thoughts!

If you thought something was wrong with you, you should've just prayed to JESUS for healing and let that be the end of it. You need to repent for looking at yourself, Emil.

[Emil Sledge]

Re: I think I hurt my self

Emil -

Your "walnuts" hurt because you have offended God.

As it is written,

1. Matthew 5:29-30
   And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
   
   And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

I think you know what God wants you to do.

Reverend M. Rodimer my right eye and my right hand they aint done nothin at all. I aint real sure what sin I made that give me the blue balls but if Lola and me can one day be marryed I think maybe thats what God wants me to do.

[Emil Sledge]

Re: I think I hurt my self

Let me get this straight, you actually took off your pants and made an effort to look at yourself to see if something was wrong!!?

The devil has tricked you into sinning against GOD! One must never, ever look at oneself naked for fear of thinking dirty thoughts!

If you thought something was wrong with you, you should've just prayed to JESUS for healing and let that be the end of it. You need to repent for looking at yourself, Emil.

Thank you Bob4God. I am prayin extra hard now! I never knew and I will never offend Jesus that way again. My expereince here at the LBC has been wonderful and has been a ejacluation for sure. All the nice people that has tried to help me I sure wont never forget. I know Jesus wanted me in this forum so my religios ejaculation would be in the hands of the nice people of the LBC. Praise Jesus I am ever so greatful and I cant wait to some day move to Freehold and start tithin right away. Jesus I owe you big!

[Bob4God]

Re: I think I hurt my self

but if Lola and me can one day be marryed I think maybe thats what God wants me to do.

Well you've got that right. Getting married for sex is Biblical, and it means you won't get "blue balls" from JESUS anymore!

[Emil Sledge]

Re: I think I hurt my self

Brother Bob4God um this bein a guys only thread and Lola bein gone to Injunaplis theres something I need to find out cause I aint real sure about somethin. Ya see except for when that gal in her underpants wanted to sit in my lap and then she wouldnt sit still for nothin and Jesus give me the blue balls I aint never touched a gal no way and I keep seein sex in all this talk about marryin and such. I aint for sure what that means and if Lola will let me court her I dont want her to think its funny. The guys in the Mount Pleasant correctional they knew I didnt know and they laughed about it but they wouldnt tell me nothin. I asked Pastor Merle and he said the time werent right to talk about it. I asked Marge and she made this funny noise in her mouth and give me the stink eye. Pastor Mick he give me a little book but soon as I opened it I knew it werent for me and I threw it in the burn pile right away. Im frettin about it lots and I dont want Lola to laugh if she knows and I dont. Should I just ask her cause I think she wouldnt laugh at me for not knowin. I just have the feelin that Im gonna need to know pretty soon what sex means and if it got anything at all to do with the blue balls Jesus give me why Im scared to death.