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  • Just want to be clear on something...

    Lola just got a call from the doctor's office and I'm going to let her announce it out in the public forum herself, but SHE'S GOT A BUN IN THE OVEN!!!

    But I have questions. Firstly, now that we have a future soldier going through boot camp, our soldier making work isn't all done until he arrives, is it? I mean, we can still try for twins or better right? I suggested it to Lola as soon as we found out we got one coming, but she gave me a little peck on the cheek and said no. Come on, we can't lose our hang of it. I mean nine months? Wouldn't Jesus want us to be just as good at it nine months from now as we are right now? Shouldn't we be practicing the whole time so we can stay on top of our game for Jesus? Jesus would want us keeping our skills honed right? And Lola says she won't be unclean at all the whole time! I'd think we ought to be working as hard as ever on making soldiers for Christ's army. I mean why stop at one when maybe we can make two or three in one shot. Anyway, my brothers, what do I have to look forward to? I know I can trust you.
    GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!


  • #2
    Re: Just want to be clear on something...

    Congratulations Emil! That's fantastic news!

    As for continuing to practice, I have to confess I don't know. My wife and I certainly did, repeatedly, and in every room of the house, but I was a papist back then. I'll leave you in the good hands of our brothers who were True Christians™ while their wives were with child.

    Again, congrats!

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    • #3
      Re: Just want to be clear on something...

      Originally posted by Emil Sledge View Post
      Lola just got a call from the doctor's office and I'm going to let her announce it out in the public forum herself, but SHE'S GOT A BUN IN THE OVEN!!!

      But I have questions. Firstly, now that we have a future soldier going through boot camp, our soldier making work isn't all done until he arrives, is it? I mean, we can still try for twins or better right? I suggested it to Lola as soon as we found out we got one coming, but she gave me a little peck on the cheek and said no. Come on, we can't lose our hang of it. I mean nine months? Wouldn't Jesus want us to be just as good at it nine months from now as we are right now? Shouldn't we be practicing the whole time so we can stay on top of our game for Jesus? Jesus would want us keeping our skills honed right? And Lola says she won't be unclean at all the whole time! I'd think we ought to be working as hard as ever on making soldiers for Christ's army. I mean why stop at one when maybe we can make two or three in one shot. Anyway, my brothers, what do I have to look forward to? I know I can trust you.
      Yes, you have to stop. I worry about you "brother"! You shouldn't enjoy it and therefore why are you asking the question? It is a filthy, stinky, slimy act. Be glad you won't have to do it for at least 9 or so more months.
      Matthew:
      5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
      5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
      10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
      10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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      • #4
        Re: Just want to be clear on something...

        Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
        Yes, you have to stop. I worry about you "brother"! You shouldn't enjoy it and therefore why are you asking the question? It is a filthy, stinky, slimy act. Be glad you won't have to do it for at least 9 or so more months.
        Yes, sir. I was just worried that maybe Jesus would want us to keep working at it as we have been and that maybe we could praise His name even more by shooting for twins or triplets. That'd be the only reason I'd be willing to keep working at it. If it weren't for feeling like we ought to be doing something more for His sake, why I'd give up the idea altogether. His will be done.
        GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

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        • #5
          Re: Just want to be clear on something...

          Emil Im so jeluos I wish I had a baby maker too so I could have lots of solders for Christ
          Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup. (Psalm 11:6)

          GOD HATES FAGS
          Romans 1:18-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Timothy 1:8-11, Jude 7, etc
          DEATH PENALTY FOR FAGS

          WHITE AND PROUD

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          • #6
            Re: Just want to be clear on something...

            Originally posted by Hank View Post
            Emil Im so jeluos I wish I had a baby maker too so I could have lots of solders for Christ
            You will soon, Brother Hank! You'll see. I am talking it over with Jesus right now on your behalf and so is Lola. You're good Godly stock, Hank, and Jesus knows it! Now don't you despair and it'll all work out.


            GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Just want to be clear on something...

              Originally posted by Emil Sledge View Post
              Lola just got a call from the doctor's office and I'm going to let her announce it out in the public forum herself, but SHE'S GOT A BUN IN THE OVEN!!!
              Congratulations, brother. I'll do you the favor of not doing the math...

              Originally posted by Emil Sledge View Post
              Anyway, my brothers, what do I have to look forward to? I know I can trust you.
              Increased Tithing.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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              • #8
                Re: Just want to be clear on something...

                Originally posted by Emil Sledge View Post
                But I have questions. Firstly, now that we have a future soldier going through boot camp, our soldier making work isn't all done until he arrives, is it? I mean, we can still try for twins or better right?
                Congratulations, Brother Sledge!

                And I am reminded of a little story...

                A young couple moved into their first apartment. It was low-rent with very thin walls, so the modest couple decided to use a code word for making love (washing machine). Anyway, one night neither the man or wife were sleeping well, and she noticed some stirring in bed. So she asked "honey how about a little washing machine, it might help you sleep better". To which he replied "no thanks, it was a small load, so I did it by hand".

                PS Make sure she doesn't get too fat. Afterall, it is her God given duty to keep lookin good for her man!
                Investment Portfolio = Canned Goods, Automatic Weapons and a KJV1611 Bible!

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                • #9
                  Re: Just want to be clear on something...

                  Originally posted by Elmer Christianson View Post
                  Congratulations, Brother Sledge!

                  And I am reminded of a little story...

                  A young couple moved into their first apartment. It was low-rent with very thin walls, so the modest couple decided to use a code word for making love (washing machine). Anyway, one night neither the man or wife were sleeping well, and she noticed some stirring in bed. So she asked "honey how about a little washing machine, it might help you sleep better". To which he replied "no thanks, it was a small load, so I did it by hand".

                  PS Make sure she doesn't get too fat. Afterall, it is her God given duty to keep lookin good for her man!
                  I'm not sure I get that story, Brother Elmer, but it's sort of funny I guess.

                  Lola always does look so pretty and she alway tries so hard to look her best for me (even though she doesn't need to try so hard) and she's already been fretting about the extra pound she already put on. She eats the right things and she stays active. I've had her working on getting this new garage built and it's almost done. She only has a few more courses of shingles to haul up the ladder and nail down and she'll be done. Then she can start the easy part of putting on the siding. We had some Messicans from Labor Ready doing most of the work, but Lola's too picky for her own good sometimes and, even though she showed them a dozen times how to do stuff the right way (like finishing the concrete to her standards), it was never good enough for her. So she shingled the roof her self and I have to say it has turned out perfect, except for the one single row that was a little uneven that I made her tear off and redo. Anyway, I appreciate your concern and I know Lola would never let herself go like that. She ain't got an ounce of fat on her now and she's mighty proud of that fact. I don't see that ever changing.
                  GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Just want to be clear on something...

                    Good Going Emil! Congratulations on making a new Soldier for Christ©.

                    You have to be careful about trying for twins or triplets. You do not want to dent the baby's head or poke an eye out. Can Lola Hum?
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Just want to be clear on something...

                      Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                      Good Going Emil! Congratulations on making a new Soldier for Christ©.

                      You have to be careful about trying for twins or triplets. You do not want to dent the baby's head or poke an eye out. Can Lola Hum?
                      Um, yeah, she hums all the time. Why?
                      GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Just want to be clear on something...

                        Can she play a flute? Are there any other wind instruments she can play?

                        Do not wonder why, instead, sit back and revel in His Glory.
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                        Comment

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