[Sammy The Penitent]

Re: Manly Jokes

One more quick one:

Q: What do you get when you cross a homo Eskimo with a negro?

A: A snowblower that doesn't work.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

What's the difference between Lance Armstrong and Hitler?

Lance knows how to finish a race.




My barber told me that one.

[IHateJesu5]

Re: Manly Jokes

I'm sorry friends, but isn't this a little rude?

Women are our equals, they were made by God just as we were and they have done many AMAZING things for our world.

We should treat them a little better I believe.

and these jokes aren't really funny at all, brothers.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Manly Jokes

I'm sorry friends, but isn't this a little rude?

Women are our equals, they were made by God just as we were and they have done many AMAZING things for our world.

We should treat them a little better I believe.

and these jokes aren't really funny at all, brothers.

Not funny friend.
Furhtermore, the female is not mans 'equal' (unless that is the punch line )
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
(Women were created to assist men.)

Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Exodus 20:17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
(Women are property. Less valuable than a house but more valuable than slaves and livestock.)

Matthew 18:25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
(Jesus considers women (and children) to be property that can be sold.)

[WashedWithHisBlood]

Re: Manly Jokes

I'm sorry friends, but isn't this a little rude?

Women are our equals, they were made by God just as we were and they have done many AMAZING things for our world.

We should treat them a little better I believe.

and these jokes aren't really funny at all, brothers.

You're telling us that it is rude to denigrate woman, but it is not rude to have a profile name which says I hate Jesus????

Well here is a joke for you, you filthy sinner you.

Whats the difference between a female and a bucket of turd?

The bucket, lol.

[ToysInTheAttic]

Re: Manly Jokes

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created.

"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don't exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws together...bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."

[Paragon of virtue]

Re: Manly Jokes

Another long one making the rounds on the God forsaken social media circuit, but I laughed silently in spite of myself


In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her
and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do
know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly,
you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,
and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very
quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the
electric chair.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

A buck nigra takes a white girl home from a club.

She says, "Show me if it's true what they say about black men".

So he stabs her & takes her purse...

[Kriid Do Vokul]

Re: Manly Jokes

How many women does it take to change the light bulb in the kitchen?
Who cares, let the b*tch cook in the dark.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Manly Jokes

How many women does it take to change the light bulb in the kitchen?
Who cares, let the b*tch cook in the dark.

How does that make any sense? D you want her to burn the house down and kill the little ones?

If you arn't man enough to fix a darn lightbulb you must be some kind of sissy boy.

YIC

[Kriid Do Vokul]

Re: Manly Jokes

And if you can't protect your house from the ineptitude of a woman, how can you protect your family from the guile of Satan and his followers?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Manly Jokes

And if you can't protect your house from the ineptitude of a woman, how can you protect your family from the guile of Satan and his followers?

That's why you do the DIY so your wife can concentrate on things that won't burn the house down like cooking and bringing up the kids.

Seriously, what point are you trying to make? That you don't like DIY? That you hope kids will die in a blazing conflagration?



God Bless

[Kriid Do Vokul]

Re: Manly Jokes

That's why you do the DIY so your wife can concentrate on things that won't burn the house down like cooking and bringing up the kids.

Seriously, what point are you trying to make? That you don't like DIY? That you hope kids will die in a blazing conflagration?



God Bless

There was no point that I was trying to make. I was honestly asking for advice. While there may be a more appropriate place for that, I am currently not allowed to make a new thread there. Nor am I allowed to ask others via private message.
My sincerest apologies for any confusion I may have caused you.

YIC

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Manly Jokes

There was no point that I was trying to make. I was honestly asking for advice. While there may be a more appropriate place for that, I am currently not allowed to make a new thread there. Nor am I allowed to ask others via private message.
My sincerest apologies for any confusion I may have caused you.

YIC

You protect yourself from Satan's whiles, guiles and smiles you need only read the Bible, learn it, live it and shout the message to all those dirty sinners that Jesus hates and will send to Hell

Glory!

[Kriid Do Vokul]

Re: Manly Jokes

Thank you. I'll be sure to take your words to heart.
To get back on topic and paraphrase a different joke; a man and a woman were walking down the street. The woman walked into a bar. The man ducked.