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  • Product development specialist needed for TC™ enhancement device

    Gentlemen, By now you've heard the news that Mary-worshiping scientitians in Italy have demonstrated the efficacy of tallywacker lengthening protocols, which, the Mary-worshipers report, can extend one's manfulness by a Godly full inch.

    Jesus loves us. The least we can do for Him is develop a suitable True Christian™ device in His honor.

    Unfortunately, none of the pastors here at Landover have any expertise in the area of new product development and marketing. If there's a True Christian™ out there who does possess the specialist knowledge and experience needed to bring the "Landover Meat-Of-The-Word®" to market, I hope they will contact a senior pastor immediately.
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    I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

  • #2
    Re: Product development specialist needed for TC™ enhancement dev

    Having done lengthy testing on the "Soap on a Rope" theory while taking my weekly shower, I have disproved that hypothesis.

    I then forged ahead with the "Brick on a Rope" theory and the Missus tells me the results are promising.

    I've maintained various charts tracking the process and even have a lab coat I wear while conducting my research. I feel I can now contribute invaluable knowledge in this field.

    Please consider this my application.
    The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

    "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

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    • #3
      Re: Product development specialist needed for TC™ enhancement dev

      I had great succes as a youngster with a suction device, specifically a vacuum cleaner. From the age of 11 to 14 daily sessions doubled my length from 2 to 4 inches. I discontinued the procedures at that point, didn't want to become a freak.

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      • #4
        Re: Product development specialist needed for TC™ enhancement dev

        Brothers,

        I am sorry to report that while I am interested in the results of this research I can contribute nothing. I swore being chaste to our almighty God and Savior - so I never touch my own penis. (It is OK to use that word in a Men Only forum isn't it?)

        It would not be fair to begin touching myself - even for reasearch - and make martyrs out of the men in the public restrooms that have used the urinal next to me as I "no handed" it.

        -ND

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        • #5
          Re: Product development specialist needed for TC™ enhancement dev

          Brother Lee, I believe Brothers Enoch and Dint have disqualified themselves.

          I am of the opinion my lab coat is enough to scare off most other applicants.

          Lets talk weekly pay, insurance benefits, and the retirement plan.
          The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

          "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Product development specialist needed for TC™ enhancement dev

            Shout Glory!!!

            I've been contacted by the LBC Penil Enhancement and Joy Juice Committee and we have begun negotiations on my employment package.

            I believe it was wearing my lab coat to the interview that turned the trick. Well, that, and my extensive note-taking while conducting my own experiments. And my cousin Jethro serving on the committee. And my Missus bringing a number of freshly baked pies. And my offering to share my other research project - filthy magazines the have no redeeming value in our society.

            Although I was hoping for $1500 weekly, we settled on $1250 with a quarterly bonus based upon millimeter increments. An added benefit is a freshly laundered lab coat on a daily basis. The chink laundry next door to the clinic has agreed to waive the "No tickee, No coatee" requirement in exchange for access to the un-Godly number of cats hanging around the back door of the lab - where, oh where, did they come from?

            The insurance plan includes long-term disability coverage should I "overextend" myself while conducting research. My wife will serve as a mediator whenever a question arises about longevity of the disability.

            The retirement plan is acceptable, I think. The committee has retained the services of the Madoff Foundation for investment advice. (The name sounds familiar so they must be okay since I think I heard about them on Fox News.)

            The committee has told me I will start after the first of the year. Or as soon as they have returned from their fact-finding trip to Thailand.
            The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

            "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

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