Modern men are WEAKLINGS!

[Timofey]

Re: Modern men are WEAKLINGS!

Only effeminates like effeminates!!!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Modern men are WEAKLINGS!

Well just look at who we have "leading" our country! A sissified negro. God hates the effeminate!

He may be the president, but I'd hardly call what that one is doing "leading" the country!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Modern men are WEAKLINGS!

Well just look at who we have "leading" our country! A sissified negro. God hates the effeminate!

1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

[Timofey]

Re: Modern men are WEAKLINGS!

Benefit BBQ for the Rehabilitation Center to follow Thursday goat rendings.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Modern men are WEAKLINGS!

I asked my husband, Mr. Whitford, and he said that goats will be provided for a modest fee once the men of Freehold feel they have strengthened up to sufficiently Old Testament standards.

Wonderful! I will see you both on opening day and at church tomorrow as well. I am looking forward to trying that Alligatorwine!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Modern men are WEAKLINGS!

Will The Taut Christian be providing baby goats for rending practice?

I asked my husband, Mr. Whitford, and he said that goats will be provided for a modest fee once the men of Freehold feel they have strengthened up to sufficiently Old Testament standards.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Modern men are WEAKLINGS!

From the beginning of time, men were robust and built to LAST. Adam, the very first man, lived to the ripe old age of 930! Through the years, thanks to sin and the increased liberalism that brings, lifespans got shorter. Now it takes a miracle from God for anyone to live to even 100.
But it's not just a shorter life all this namby pambyism has wrought. Men are PHYSICALLY WEAKER, mere shadows of their former selves!

Judges 14:5-6 Then went Samson down, and his father and his mother, to Timnath, and came to the vineyards of Timnath: and, behold, a young lion roared against him.
And the Spirit of the LORD came mightily upon him, and he rent him as he would have rent a kid, and he had nothing in his hand: but he told not his father or his mother what he had done.

Yes, it's unfair to compare the strength of any man to that of Samson, especially when the Spirit of the LORD comes mightily upon him, so it wouldn't be right to expect any man to be able to rend a lion. BUT BEING ABLE TO REND A KID (baby goat) WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS ONCE CONSIDERED COMPARATIVELY EASY!
How many of today's sissified men can TEAR A GOAT APART WITH THEIR BARE HANDS?!!?
Horror at this realization has prompted my husband, Mr. Whitford, to announce his new business venture: a new BIBLICALLY CORRECT gymnasium for MEN ONLY... The Taut Christian.
Gone will be the useless free weights and treadmills that populate today's liberal atheist gyms. Instead, this facility will concentrate on building muscle through prayer and True Christian™ fellowship.

1 Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

After working up a good sweat from wrestling with the demons that have weakened modern gentlemen, members will then be provided with discounted bottles of Mr. Whitford's new sports drink - Alligatorwine.

1 Timothy 5:23 Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities.

The Taut Christian - located at 478 Jesse Helms Boulevard - will accept early membership enrollment starting Monday, August 9th, with its Grand Opening on Wednesday, September 8th.
Free samples of Alligatorwine will be made available after church tomorrow, Sunday August 8th, and will be given out every Sunday until the gymnasium opens. After that, it will only be available at The Taut Christian until a rollout throughout select stores in the Freehold area starting February 2011. (All dates depending on if the Final Trumpet doesn't sound first.)

Disclaimer: My husband - Mr. Whitford - wants to apologize for allowing me to post in Promise Enforcers, but as you know he is always very busy and keeps his secretary, Bernard, up to his ears in work so I am here under his command.

That sounds wonderful Sister! As all of you know I never was the most robust individual, and the complications after my Ex-Gay(c) surgery that left me in need of an elaborate network of trusses and girdles certainly did not help. I could definitely use some Biblically sound spiritual girding, especially in my loins, as that part of my body was most drastically affected by the infection.

Will The Taut Christian be providing baby goats for rending practice? If not, I can bring my own from the Landover University Animal Experiments breeding mill. Would a fawn due in a pinch? We have several dozen orphaned by some ballistics experiments we performed for Project Habakkuk.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

From the beginning of time, men were robust and built to LAST. Adam, the very first man, lived to the ripe old age of 930! Through the years, thanks to sin and the increased liberalism that brings, lifespans got shorter. Now it takes a miracle from God for anyone to live to even 100.
But it's not just a shorter life all this namby pambyism has wrought. Men are PHYSICALLY WEAKER, mere shadows of their former selves!

Judges 14:5-6 Then went Samson down, and his father and his mother, to Timnath, and came to the vineyards of Timnath: and, behold, a young lion roared against him.
And the Spirit of the LORD came mightily upon him, and he rent him as he would have rent a kid, and he had nothing in his hand: but he told not his father or his mother what he had done.

Yes, it's unfair to compare the strength of any man to that of Samson, especially when the Spirit of the LORD comes mightily upon him, so it wouldn't be right to expect any man to be able to rend a lion. BUT BEING ABLE TO REND A KID (baby goat) WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS ONCE CONSIDERED COMPARATIVELY EASY!
How many of today's sissified men can TEAR A GOAT APART WITH THEIR BARE HANDS?!!?
Horror at this realization has prompted my husband, Mr. Whitford, to announce his new business venture: a new BIBLICALLY CORRECT gymnasium for MEN ONLY... The Taut Christian.
Gone will be the useless free weights and treadmills that populate today's liberal atheist gyms. Instead, this facility will concentrate on building muscle through prayer and True Christian™ fellowship.

1 Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

After working up a good sweat from wrestling with the demons that have weakened modern gentlemen, members will then be provided with discounted bottles of Mr. Whitford's new sports drink - Alligatorwine.

1 Timothy 5:23 Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities.

The Taut Christian - located at 478 Jesse Helms Boulevard - will accept early membership enrollment starting Monday, August 9th, with its Grand Opening on Wednesday, September 8th.
Free samples of Alligatorwine will be made available after church tomorrow, Sunday August 8th, and will be given out every Sunday until the gymnasium opens. After that, it will only be available at The Taut Christian until a rollout throughout select stores in the Freehold area starting February 2011. (All dates depending on if the Final Trumpet doesn't sound first.)

Disclaimer: My husband - Mr. Whitford - wants to apologize for allowing me to post in Promise Enforcers, but as you know he is always very busy and keeps his secretary, Bernard, up to his ears in work so I am here under his command.