[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Pie conspiracy

If my wife is involved, she will have to endure a hell of a thrashing. Now that I think about it, the pies I've been eating in the last couple of days tasted different from her normal. I remember seeing some boxes or something in the trash but thought nothing of it.

It sounds to me like your wife could be a major player in this whole lesbian blood orgy conspiracy. She could even be the kingpin.

[David Micheal]

Re: Pie conspiracy

Now that you mention it , there is something fishy going on with the pie at my place too. The other night I could swear there were ice crystals in the blueberries. The Mrs. supposedly just made that pie that morning!!.

I'm pretty lenient about most things. The cup cakes don't have to be perfect.
The honey buns can be a little saggy. The sweet rolls can be a little dry.
But darn it my pies have to be fresh, mouth-watering tasty and a lip smacking delight. If my Mrs. is in on this conspiracy you can bet there will be hell to pay!!!

If my wife is involved, she will have to endure a hell of a thrashing. Now that I think about it, the pies I've been eating in the last couple of days tasted different from her normal. I remember seeing some boxes or something in the trash but thought nothing of it.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Pie conspiracy

Mistress Cookie thank you for being honest with us. I had apple strudel last week and I did not see anyone stretching dough with Phebe. Can these things be purchased frozen too?

Again, please do not report that I am helping with this investigation, but "Yes", you can buy frozen strudels at the supermarket.

HOWEVER, a super-crafty chef adept in trickery would try to throw you off the track by buying frozen phyllo dough, and then assemble the "strudel" using that dough combined with a homemade filling.

It's only the repeated stretching and pulling and rolling of that particular type of crust that's hard. And it's undoubtedly the first place a wayward wife would try to cut corners.
.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Pie conspiracy

Brothers, I discovered store bought pies in MY home. Brother Seth found frozen pie crust boxes in his trash.
I am speechless to say the least. Have you found any thing abnormal about your wives pies? Are they a little to perfect? Sure Phebe blamed the pies on Helen our house guest. Sister BIG claims that she has not used a frozen crust in 6 months. Brothers are we a pawn in a pie conspiracy? Gentleman check your freezers and trash. This is what I found in my refrigerator, pies from a store And a coupon book hidden in the cupboard.

I have known Widow Helen for years, and I can say with absolute certainty that she would never consider a store-bought pie. Why, the stores don't even HAVE mince meat pies (with real meat)!

And while Helen's pie may occasionally be a bit dry, never has the flakiness of her "au naturel" crust been called into question.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Pie conspiracy

So ... if the womenfolk are NOT baking pies, what do you suppose they are doing during their pie baking time????

Internets Sexcapades??!!

Probably a lesbian orgy! (See my post above.)

I do believe we are going to have a close look at time management. Quilting bee yea right!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Pie conspiracy

So ... if the womenfolk are NOT baking pies, what do you suppose they are doing during their pie baking time????

Probably a lesbian orgy! (See my post above.)

[Brother Barnabus]

Re: Pie conspiracy

So ... if the womenfolk are NOT baking pies, what do you suppose they are doing during their pie baking time????

Internets Sexcapades??!!

[James Dewitt]

Re: Pie conspiracy

I get it flown in from Intercourse, Pennsylvania. They grow the best rhubarb in the world.

Have you witnessed her making a crust? Keep an eye on her. No telling how devious these females can be.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Pie conspiracy

I get it flown in from Intercourse, Pennsylvania. They grow the best rhubarb in the world.

My cousin lives just down the road from there in a small town called Blue Balls and he was telling me all their produce was exceptionally good this year but dealing with the Amish to get it is always difficult.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pie conspiracy

Had any good apple rhubarb pie lately? Have you seen any Rhubarb growing wild during this unusually hot, dry summer?

I get it flown in from Intercourse, Pennsylvania. They grow the best rhubarb in the world.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Pie conspiracy

Sister Thumper knows better than to try and pass off a store-bought pie on me. Even a frozen pie crust will get her a couple of black eyes and a sore behind for a week.

Had any good apple rhubarb pie lately? Have you seen any Rhubarb growing wild during this unusually hot, dry summer?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pie conspiracy

Sister Thumper knows better than to try and pass off a store-bought pie on me. Even a frozen pie crust will get her a couple of black eyes and a sore behind for a week.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Pie conspiracy

Mrs. Porter pulled this stunt once with a cheap "store-baked" pie from Albertsons. Something just tasted funny and she wouldn't look me in the eye, so I demanded she empty her purse on the kitchen table. Sure enough, there was a store receipt and "Apple Pie - Bakery Item" was the only item purchased. Not only did she waste my money on bus fare to the store, but she paid $6.99 for a foul tasting pie!

Sobbing like a tot, she made excuses that she hadn't felt well that morning and that she couldn't be expected to bake every day. I started unbuckling my belt, but Jesus said "No,no. Not for this my son". As a man of Christ, I reached for the KJV instead and, as always, He guided me to the appropriate verse:

"He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much." Luke 16:10 - KJV

In the end she understood and thanked me for only suspending her access to the newspaper crossword puzzle for 6 months.

And her pie has only improved since that day of deception.

Praise Jesus Christ for His solutions to everyday life!

[James Dewitt]

Re: Pie conspiracy

Just as I suspected, pie fraud plain and simple. I wonder just how high it goes? Could a certain Pastors Fiancee be serving false pie? I feel the need to call a private detective, surveillance in required.
Mistress Cookie thank you for being honest with us. I had apple strudel last week and I did not see anyone stretching dough with Phebe. Can these things be purchased frozen too?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Pie conspiracy

Gentlemen, please don't let my culinary sisters know I have posted here, but a particular item you may want to be on the lookout for as PRE-MADE is strudel of all types.

Strudel crust is made by stretching the dough very thin, to the size of an entire kitchen table (!) It takes 2 people to do it. Then it is spread with shortening, folded up and rolled, chilled, and stretched thin again....several times. All this before it is spread with filling, rolled up, and finally baked.

If a strudel is set before you and you know your wife has not had a friend over to help with the baking, you will know that the strudel is a fake.

I would never eat "strudel" anyway. It sounds European, and therefore gay.