Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

[Levi Jones]

Re: Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

Brother Jed, I know now is a difficult time with you having to plan both a wedding and a funeral, but I hope we can get together for a prayer breakfast some time.

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

Everyone knows you can only catch Aids from toilet seats that satan has sat on with his foul decrepid poo hole.

I have no idea about your toilet habits, but I rarely touch toilet seats with my anus. I doubt that Satan has much different way of taking care of his business. However, you are not too much off there. One way you can get AIDS is by touching gaysexual person, or something gaysexual person has touched, so you really can get AIDS from public toilet.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

I guess you came out retarded if that's how you think you catch the AIDS fool. Everyone knows you can only catch Aids from toilet seats that satan has sat on with his foul decrepid poo hole.

You think this because... this is the excuse your mother gave you?

Son, making up lies like you do do not fool Gd one Iota. He is well aware of the details of your sordid life. It rains because baby Jesus weeps for your soul.

[dicker]

Re: Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

My problem there is that I'm worried the boy (I only make sons) would come out retarded with the AIDS.

I guess you came out retarded if that's how you think you catch the AIDS fool. Everyone knows you can only catch Aids from toilet seats that satan has sat on with his foul decrepid poo hole.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

Even though your wife has breast cancer, telling her to consider secular treatments is just like putting your hand in GOD's face and proclaiming:
"Sorry GOD, but you're wrong , and I don't think my wife should die".
Whatever you do, don't let yourself be bullied by your wife into letting her see a Doctor. She'll insist on it, but don't give in, lock her away until the cancer consumes her. GOD wants her dead, he has gifted her the cancer, and it would be inhumane of you to stop her going to Heaven.



Just my two cents. Once she's dead, get straight back out there big man, there's plenty more fish in the sea.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

I guess I'd still have to wait until after the wedding to get her pregnant though, right?

Brother, I would make sure that any act of sexual reproduction is registered with the government in the form of a marriage license before the fact. Maybe if we keep the bureaucracy busy worrying about our sex lives, they will forget to tax the top 1%, keeping us the richest nation in the world.

[Jedediah]

Re: Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

I have considered going ahead and getting her pregnant again. I figure they can hook her up to one of those Terry Schaivo machines at least until the baby comes to term. And at that point, we could let nature run its course and I could trade her in.

My problem there is that I'm worried the boy (I only make sons) would come out retarded with the AIDS. I'm raising a Christian household, and there is no room for abominations under my roof.

I'm thinking about going ahead and lining up bornagain_gurl1992 to move in with us and learn how to do the chores, have my dinner ready at 5:30pm every day, change the diapers, and whatnot. Maybe we can even coordinate the wedding and the funeral into one event. I'll check with the Pastors about that.

I guess I'd still have to wait until after the wedding to get her pregnant though, right?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

Brother, I like to think about woman as I do about cars. When they are used up, or develop expensive faults, you go to the showroom to pick the next one.

I understand your dilemma re: Hebrews 13:17, but I don't think that verse should keep you from weighing your options and do a bit of tire-kicking.

Sure, you might try to get your current wife pregnant again, but a) there's no guarantee that she'll make it and b) it would - you'll always see - probably be a baby-girl.

Talk about time wasters...

I think both God and the KJV are on your side here. Sure, you might have to postpone the new marriage until your current wife goes to heaven passes away, but I would make sure that you can remarry the next day.

Good luck Brother!

[Bobby Joe Wayne]

Re: Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

Do like Newt Gingrich and find a new one!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

She's used up, time to move on and find a younger, healthier model.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Wife Has Cancer: Do I Have to Wait for Her to Die Before I Get a New One?

What should I do?

Well friend, far be it from me to offer advice, seeing as I'm simply a woman, and a simple one at that, but if your wife is a True Christian™ woman surely she won't have any problems preparing your children for their new mommy and the new siblings she's sure to bring you. Perhaps while your sickly wife still has energy she could show your new fiance your favorite pie recipe and how you like it served. May God bless you finding a new, younger, and healthier wife soon!

[Jedediah]

Sad news, friends.

Rebekah has been diagnosed with breast cancer, and despite my most fervent prayers, it seems that God still wants to call her home. We're even getting desperate enough to consider secular cancer treatments.

The thing is, I am still a relatively young man, barely into my 30s. I only have five sons so far, hardly what one could consider to be a full quiver (Psalm 127:3-5). I have been frequenting chatrooms for Quiverfull Singles the last several weeks so that there is as little downtime as possible if/when Jesus finally calls my helpmeet of nine years to Heaven. And I have at least two prospective replacements lined up.

I have been praying over this and reading the Scriptures, and it seems that as long as I can afford both their upkeep, I would be able to take on another wife under Biblical Law.

Exodus 21:10
If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.

Really, the only thing I can see that is standing in my way is secular law (Hebrews 13:17). However, I have been reading lately about how Newt Gingrich handled two similar situations: When Newt's first wife got cancer, Newt handed her divorce papers in the hospital. When Newt's second wife was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, Newt showed her the door. What I have learned from Brother Newt's example is that sick wives are like crippled packhorses - absolutely useless dead weight.

While grateful for my helpmeet's years of service, having me wait around for her to die or recover before going on to sire new Soldiers for Christ is simply not fair to me. Even if she makes it, waiting around for a year or two while she gets better is one or two fewer sons I will have a chance to make in my life.

Jesus tells us that we can only divorce our wives in the case of adultery (Matthew 5:32). I would like to start grooming a prospective new helpmeet, but I cannot see a path forward while honoring God's commandments to obey secular law while only divorcing in the case of adultery.

What should I do?