Auction: My grandmother's old muff

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

I'm sure many of your wives are nagging you about their muffs. "Mine's ratty and worn," says one persnickety woman; her friends (including your wife) jump on the bandwagon. "Mine's all stretched out," says another. Next thing you know, your wife is whining to you that she needs a new muff!

Well, have I got a treat for you! My grandmother's old muff -- hardly used. But an antique!

I was planning to offer it on eBay, where similar items sell for about $300. But I thought it better to first see if my brothers at Landover would like to get a whack at it first.

Here's a picture to whet your appetites:


Unlike most more modern muffs, this ermine muff includes the heads and tails of the little critters that will keep your wife's hands toasty warm in classic Victorian style.

Who will start the bidding at $250?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

Goodness! This brings back horrible nightmares of my childhood. I'd be sitting on the floor, playing with my 'Jesus of Nazareth' set and I'd look up to see my grandmothers stinky muff. "James" she'd say in that hideous cackle of hers, "Have you seen my muff today?" I'd run screaming from the room but she would find me in my closet and stuff her muff in my face.
She even made me put my hands in it to prove it would not bite. The strange sensation of sticking a finger in that hairy thing haunts me to this very day.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

Goodness! This brings back horrible nightmares of my childhood. I'd be sitting on the floor, playing with my 'Jesus of Nazareth' set and I'd look up to see my grandmothers stinky muff. "James" she'd say in that hideous cackle of hers, "Have you seen my muff today?" I'd run screaming from the room but she would find me in my closet and stuff her muff in my face.
She even made me put my hands in it to prove it would not bite. The strange sensation of sticking a finger in that hairy thing haunts me to this very day.

James, surely you'd want your wife to have a nice, clean, fresh muff, right?

This one has been stored in a cedar chest for decades. It smells like a forest!

[Bob4God]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

I know you'd like to share this opportunity for our wives to get their hands on your grandmother's muff, and frankly, I can't blame them because it looks just so warm and soft.

But I am not sure an auction is the best way to go about selling that furry thing, especially on GOD's forum. What if JESUS flings our servers over like the money changers' tables in the temple?

Maybe it would be better to run an ad in the Freehold paper?

Something like "For sale: Grandma's muff" might do the trick in getting it out of your house.

That way, local residents could simply come to your house and have the chance to stick both their hands into your grandmother's muff before deciding if they really wanted it.

[Nobar King]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

I'll give you 50$ for your used muff.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

I am not interested in your grandmothers old muff, or any muff for that matter. As far as I am concerned, Muffs, no matter how furry or warm, have no place on a Christian forum. And certainly not in a male only sub forum.

The posting of muff pictures on these boards, if they must be posted at all, should be in the Ladies forum. What sort of a Christian man wants to look at pictures of muffs?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

I am not interested in your grandmothers old muff, or any muff for that matter. As far as I am concerned, Muffs, no matter how furry or warm, have no place on a Christian forum. And certainly not in a male only sub forum.

The posting of muff pictures on these boards, if they must be posted at all, should be in the Ladies forum. What sort of a Christian man wants to look at pictures of muffs?

The kind of man who wants to buy it as a surprise present for his wife, before she starts nagging him about how worn out hers is!

Or the kind of man who has himself noticed his wife's stretched-out, misshapen muff and doesn't want both of them to be embarrassed by it when going to parties!

Brother Nobar has bid $50. I didn't know he had a special lady!

[Nobar King]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

Brother Nobar has bid $50. I didn't know he had a special lady!

I don't always kiss and tell. However, it is close to Valentine's day and I need some suggestions for a nice gift to give. No more than 50$.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

I don't always kiss and tell. However, it is close to Valentine's day and I need some suggestions for a nice gift to give. No more than 50$.

Well, we will see how the bidding goes.

Is it for Princess? I bet she'd love a nice muff to warm her hands!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

I'll give you $50,000 for it. It's like to see how it looks on my 14 year old Indonesian houseboy.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

I'll give you $50,000 for it. It's like to see how it looks on my 14 year old Indonesian houseboy.

Bidding has closed! Sold to the fine, upstanding gentleman with the slender, androgynous houseboy!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

$50,000

Wow. You thought to pray for a great deal of money this year Pastor. I wish I was smart and responsible enough to pray for that much money.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

That's such a shame :sad:

My wife's muff is pretty much worn out (she has had hers for 32 years) that I can barely rouch it: and it's pretty manky, now.

I would have so liked to get such a brand spanking new one for my wife. It would make her feel young again.

Oh well, I'll just have a really good look at other women's muffs from now on till I find good one.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

I'll give you $50,000 for it. It's like to see how it looks on my 14 year old Indonesian houseboy.

Pastor, I was about to ship the muff to you, but your PrayPal transaction code was invalid. Perhaps you made a typo?

Please let me know when that's corrected. Obviously, I don't want to ship this valuable muff without insuring the package, and that's rather pricey . . . So I will need your transaction to clear before I can afford to ship.

Thanks!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Auction: My grandmother's old muff

Pastor, I was about to ship the muff to you, but your PrayPal transaction code was invalid. Perhaps you made a typo?

Please let me know when that's corrected. Obviously, I don't want to ship this valuable muff without insuring the package, and that's rather pricey . . . So I will need your transaction to clear before I can afford to ship.

Thanks!

No, just go ahead and ship it. You know that the church is good for it, and besides we don't want those photographs of you on your knees ministering to anonymous hairy truckers at the rest area on I-5...people might misunderstand.