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Gentlemen, electronic massagers are extremely popular today with the fairer sex. They are commonly used on the neck, shoulders, and back. The neck, shoulders, and back. Women shouldn't even let their husbands touch them to that extent. If your wife is using one of these gizmos, she is essentially doing it with a robot.
A woman holds the shaft of the massager while getting drilled in the shoulder.
I shouldn't have to explain that robot-on-human action is an abomination in the eyes of God Almighty. That's a given. What is truly troubling me? These vibrating electronic machines are probably cross-breeding with our wives. If you don't think it's possible for two completely different things to combine to form a single, hideous entity, then explain tofurkey.
If you think explaining tofurkey is hard, trying eating it.
These tiny, clever, and diabolical machines that we know as massagers want to create a terrifying hybrid race that will possess the best of both worlds: the indefatigability of robots and the human ability to love.
One possibility of what the terrifying hybrid race might look like.
Robots have always been jealous of our ability to love. I have seen countless sci-fi movies in which a robot quizzically tilts its head and queries, "What is this human emotion called love?" This new race, a combination of the respective strengths of robots and humans, will be viewed as ideal mates by women, thus making men obsolete. They will surely kill/enslave all of us.
They will be irresistible to women: they'll be able to tirelessly copulate and convincingly snuggle afterwards.
For now, I'm calling these things "mandroids." I also kind of like "beaubots" and "guyborgs." I suggest we hold a fun contest to name these insatiable, blood-thirsty, half-robot, half-human freaks of nature.
Women should naturally want to live dull and dutiful lives in submission to their Christian husbands rather than engage in amazing sex night after night climaxing over and over with caring lovers who have boundless energy, but they can't be relied on to make the obvious choice. Get rid of your wife's massager before it's too late. The future of mankind depends on it.
A woman holds the shaft of the massager while getting drilled in the shoulder.
I shouldn't have to explain that robot-on-human action is an abomination in the eyes of God Almighty. That's a given. What is truly troubling me? These vibrating electronic machines are probably cross-breeding with our wives. If you don't think it's possible for two completely different things to combine to form a single, hideous entity, then explain tofurkey.
If you think explaining tofurkey is hard, trying eating it.
These tiny, clever, and diabolical machines that we know as massagers want to create a terrifying hybrid race that will possess the best of both worlds: the indefatigability of robots and the human ability to love.
One possibility of what the terrifying hybrid race might look like.
Robots have always been jealous of our ability to love. I have seen countless sci-fi movies in which a robot quizzically tilts its head and queries, "What is this human emotion called love?" This new race, a combination of the respective strengths of robots and humans, will be viewed as ideal mates by women, thus making men obsolete. They will surely kill/enslave all of us.
They will be irresistible to women: they'll be able to tirelessly copulate and convincingly snuggle afterwards.
For now, I'm calling these things "mandroids." I also kind of like "beaubots" and "guyborgs." I suggest we hold a fun contest to name these insatiable, blood-thirsty, half-robot, half-human freaks of nature.
Women should naturally want to live dull and dutiful lives in submission to their Christian husbands rather than engage in amazing sex night after night climaxing over and over with caring lovers who have boundless energy, but they can't be relied on to make the obvious choice. Get rid of your wife's massager before it's too late. The future of mankind depends on it.
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