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  • Nobar King
    Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
    Christ's Guardian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2007
    • 23748

    #1

    Manly ways to open a beer:

    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
  • Rev. M. Rodimer
    Honorary True Christian™
    Forum Member
    • May 2008
    • 13996

    #2
    Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

    Why is this "man" opening his own beer?

    I prefer, "Woman, get me a beer, and open it this time!"
    Bible boring? Nonsense!
    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

    Comment

    • Dr Laurence Niles
      Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
       
      • Jan 2012
      • 9063

      #3
      Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

      God gave me my teeth for a reason

      YIC
      1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

      Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

      Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

      Comment

      • Mary Etheldreda
        Gushing for Jesus
         
        • Sep 2011
        • 23775

        #4
        Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

        Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
        Why is this "man" opening his own beer?

        I prefer, "Woman, get me a beer, and open it this time!"
        In the Etheldreda home, "Beer me" is all that is necessary. "Woman" is implied.


        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

        Comment

        • Nobar King
          Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
          Christ's Guardian
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2007
          • 23748

          #5
          Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

          You don't let your woman run your chainsaw, do you?
          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

          Comment

          • Adam Fag
            Unsaved trash, some kind of fag
            • Jan 2012
            • 632

            #6
            Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

            Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
            You don't let your woman run your chainsaw, do you?
            Oh, I would. They seem to like it and they do have more spare brain than us.

            I use these
            Proverbs 20:23 Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good.

            Comment

            • James Hutchins
              True Christian™
              Just a Regular Nice Guy
               
              • Jun 2009
              • 29453

              #7
              Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

              I hold my hand up slightly, as if the beer is/should be there already. Once in a while, I have to 'snap' my fingers.

              I really do not like talking to Mrs. Hutchins much. She understands the unspoken word just fine.
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

              Comment

              • Rev. M. Rodimer
                Honorary True Christian™
                Forum Member
                • May 2008
                • 13996

                #8
                Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

                Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                You don't let your woman run your chainsaw, do you?
                While I wouldn't really call Widow Helen "my woman", no, I wouldn't want her near a chainsaw. That would likely be a serious mistake.

                I'm quite happy for her to run a bottle opener, though.
                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78556

                  #9
                  Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

                  The youngsters have made it into an art form.

                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Scott123
                    Unsaved trash, suspected drunk papist
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 38

                    #10
                    Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

                    I prefer not to drink beer, i like to keep my body sacred.

                    God bless.
                    Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78556

                      #11
                      Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

                      Originally posted by Scott123 View Post
                      I prefer not to drink beer, i like to keep my body sacred.

                      God bless.
                      Right. A sober mick. As if.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • Scott123
                        Unsaved trash, suspected drunk papist
                        • Dec 2010
                        • 38

                        #12
                        Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        Right. A sober mick. As if.
                        I am glad you take humour from my nationality, sir.

                        I wish there was a way to prove it to you.
                        Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9

                        Comment

                        • TiffanyWillBlowYou
                          Unsaved trash, eurotrash whore
                          • Jun 2012
                          • 13

                          #13
                          Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

                          Originally posted by Scott123 View Post
                          I prefer not to drink beer, i like to keep my body sacred.

                          God bless.
                          AMEN!

                          I prefer spooge myself.
                          1 Corinthians 11:3
                          But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                          Comment

                          • I love Dionysus
                            Unsaved trash, suspected queer
                            • Jun 2012
                            • 4

                            #14
                            Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

                            Tiffany. we need to get together sometime.
                            1 John 2:22 Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.
                            23:Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.

                            Comment

                            • Adam Fag
                              Unsaved trash, some kind of fag
                              • Jan 2012
                              • 632

                              #15
                              Re: Manly ways to open a beer:

                              Originally posted by I love Dionysus View Post
                              [Tiffany + stuff]
                              (…er, she don't drink?)
                              Proverbs 20:23 Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good.

                              Comment

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