X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Re: My Ministry to The Japs

    Pastor Ezekiel, I shall pray that the Coq Au Vin you are served there is the crowing variety of cock and not the flowing variety.
    sigpic

    I Kings 7:23

    And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

    New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

    Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

    Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

    Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: My Ministry to The Japs

      What is it about the slopes that makes them fascinated by the effluvium of humanity?

      Genesis 38:9-10 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.

      God bless
      1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

      Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

      Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: My Ministry to The Japs

        I'm surpised he didn't use a little nutmeg.
        The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: My Ministry to The Japs

          Well the slants have found a new way of enraging Jesus, and I'm sorry to say I was witness to it. Some jap invited me to be a judge at what I thought was going to be a Bible Recitation contest. Once inside, the doors are bolted and THIS is what happened next.

          World Record in Japan: Largest Orgy

          Japan has successfully set a new world record. Having 250 men and 250 women who commenced to have sex in the same place at the same time, completing the world biggest orgy ever!

          The Orgy, which can be purchased on DVD, was held in a warehouse with a professional camera crew taking pictures and recording the entire event, which was pretty hot and sticky.

          Imagine what it must be like to come stumbling across a room filled with 500 people having oral sex and screwing their brains out. Not to bad a way to end your day huh?


          It all seemed a little too organized for our personally liking but leave it to the Japanese to accomplish a goal. Especially if it had anything to do with naked women and sex.

          The entire event was actually filmed and available for purchase on DVD (NSFW!) for around $40.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: My Ministry to The Japs

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Well the slants have found a new way of enraging Jesus, and I'm sorry to say I was witness to it. Some jap invited me to be a judge at what I thought was going to be a Bible Recitation contest. Once inside, the doors are bolted and THIS is what happened next.
            I wonder why so many of those women seem to have little square pieces of paper attached to their nipples

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: My Ministry to The Japs

              Originally posted by IreneS View Post
              I wonder why so many of those women seem to have little square pieces of paper attached to their nipples
              Are they post-it notes with their names and entry numbers on?

              Pastor Zeke, I don't see any men in that photo. Were they at the other end of the room? Or is the claim that there were 250 men and 250 women just a cover-up (not an appropriate expression, in the circumstances!) for a rug-munching fest?

              Yours, in the prayer closet,
              AW
              2 Timothy 3:16

              All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


              Comment


              • #22
                Re: My Ministry to The Japs

                Originally posted by IreneS View Post
                I wonder why so many of those women seem to have little square pieces of paper attached to their ..etc
                They are probably testosterone patches

                DO NOT CLICK

                I can't believe that women who do not need it would ever take testosterone as an aphrodisiac. There is an art festival coming up soon here and there are Japaneses available whom I could ask for you. Well, I already asked them but they took all my liqueur for cocktails and became very unreliable I can tell you but some of them are quite artistic in a heathen sort of way I dread to think what happens with a brush in their hand I avoid them at all times.

                I hope that is helpful.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: My Ministry to The Japs

                  My father made it his mission to kill all those people back in the 1940's by dropping bombs on them.

                  Clearly, his efforts were not successful and the worst of them survived.
                  God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: My Ministry to The Japs

                    Originally posted by IreneS View Post
                    I wonder why so many of those women seem to have little square pieces of paper attached to their nipples
                    Irene,

                    I was able to find about 25 photos of these Japanipples where their nubile, perky baby feeders were covered by these black pieces of paper. It must be a local disease. I was going to post them here but then I thought, "The men won't want to see this stuff; it should be discussed in the women's area." But then, oddly enough, Mother said I shouldn't do it. I always listen to Mother. Can't you just hear the menfolk here complaining if I had done so?

                    Your Friend,

                    NRL
                    1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                    Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                    Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                    Locations in 50 States and Canada
                    !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                    Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                    Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: My Ministry to The Japs

                      Naomi, You could always send them to me by PM, then the menfolk won't need to know about it.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: My Ministry to The Japs

                        All right, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ALREADY!!

                        This is supposed to be a sanctuary for the men away from the shrill incessant yapping of the simple-minded womenfolk.

                        Now, I'm not singling anyone out, I am speaking to all you broads who have forgotten you ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

                        You seem to have forgotten the backhand of your fathers and husbands, who seem to have been remiss in their duties lately. If they have gotten lazy, tell them I will be glad to spank all of you. It's time to make things right.
                        sigpic

                        I Kings 7:23

                        And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

                        New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

                        Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

                        Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

                        Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: My Ministry to The Japs

                          Yes please, Dr Snyde.
                          And I'll never look in this part of the forums again.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: My Ministry to The Japs

                            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                            Well the slants have found a new way of enraging Jesus, and I'm sorry to say I was witness to it. Some jap invited me to be a judge at what I thought was going to be a Bible Recitation contest. Once inside, the doors are bolted and THIS is what happened next.
                            I doubt that the japs have broken any world records here. The population at the time of God's wrath at Sodom and Gomorrah is estimated to be between 600 and 1200.


                            Estimated population at the time of the destruction was between 600-1200.

                            The location of the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah are detailed.
                            Other punishments in the Bible (KJV1611) for sexual orgies gives us some indication of what awaits the japs (as if the recent tsunami and accompanying nuclear radiation were not enough).

                            And Israel abode in Shittim, and the people began to commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab. And they called the people unto the sacrifices of their gods: and the people did eat, and bowed down to their gods. And Israel joined himself unto Baal-peor: and the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel. And the Lord said unto Moses, Take all the heads of the people, and hang them up before the Lord against the sun, that the fierce anger of the Lord may be turned away from Israel. And Moses said unto the judges of Israel, Slay ye every one his men that were joined unto Baal-peor.

                            - Numbers 25:1-5
                            As if the orgy was not enough to anger Jesus, the finale was topped off by a massive spilling of seed.

                            zoom ups on various individuals and ejaculations on the breasts to complete the production

                            Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                            brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                            ...and get off my lawn
                            sigpic

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: My Ministry to The Japs

                              The Japs have now invented a machine that steals a man's precious seed! And they're all over the ornamental countries! Imagine my surprise when I stepped onto this contraption to get weighed and instead got sexually assaulted! I'm standing there reading the directions on the screen, and while my attention was diverted, the thing managed to unzip me, expose my tallywhacker, and milked it dry!



                              I tried it a few dozen times at various places around the orient, and the result was the same each time. Now I suppose the chinks will start producing clones in my image.
                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: My Ministry to The Japs

                                THIS is what happens in the godforsaken island I do my ministry in. These depraved slants don't even have the godly guts to use a Smith and Wesson to do God's work!

                                Japanese girl band AKB48 attacked with a saw at fan event

                                Two members of the hugely successful band, Rina Kawaei and Anna Iriyama, taken to hospital with hand and head injuries

                                Two members of the Japanese girl group AKB48 were taken to hospital after being attacked by a man wielding a saw at one of the band's meet-the-fans events, police said on Monday.

                                Rina Kawaei, 19, and Anna Iriyama, 18, both broke bones in their right hands and received cuts on their arms and heads caused by the 50cm (20in) saw at the event in Iwate in northern Japan.

                                Reports said the attack came after a mini concert early on Sunday afternoon as fans were lining up to shake hands with performers inside booths.

                                Kawaei and Iriyama were inside the same booth when a man in the queue suddenly produced a saw, the Yomiuri daily said.

                                Fans told Japanese media they heard a shriek, apparently from one of the young women, saying "stop it!".

                                Some of the 100 or so staff and security guards at the event pounced on the attacker and held him until police arrived, reports said.

                                One fan said Kawaei was covered in blood when she was taken away by medics to a waiting ambulance.

                                A 24-year-old man, identified as unemployed Satoru Umeta, was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder, police said.

                                "We have started questioning the suspect this morning to know details, including his motive," a detective with Iwate prefectural police told AFP.

                                AKB48 is part talent show, part pop act, a venture in which a pool of more than 100 girls and young women compete for a spot in the limelight when each new hit is released.

                                The group – one of the most successful acts of all time in monetary terms – is built on being accessible to its legion of fans, appearing at regular events all over the country to shake hands and pose for pictures, as well as on social networking sites.

                                Members must strive constantly for popularity if they wish to retain their spot, and girls who contravene strict rules – such as having boyfriends – are dropped back into the general talent pool.

                                Where line-up changes often sound the death-knell for musical acts, the frequent rotation of AKB's members is key to keeping them at the top of Japan's pop scene.

                                Fans are currently voting for the girl they want to lead the collective for the next year, using ballot slips only available with the purchase of their newest single. The results will be announced in a nationally televised extravaganza on 7 June.
                                Why aren't they voting for Jesus, instead of these rice-chomping, buck-toothed whores? This is why I need you all to double your Love Offerings, so I can travel with a complete security detail!

                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X