[Brother Temperance]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

See, that wasn't so hard! You men just need to think a little. Or perhaps a lot...

Are you asking us to lie? One again, the secularists show their contempt for morality.

[not_satan]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

aaaaahahaha......damn this stuff is halarious....and sadly so so true

[hellion]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

Are you asking us to lie? One again, the secularists show their contempt for morality.

Maybe you need to lie because you can't find love. Maybe that's why you're so up-tight and angry all the time, because you can't truelly love. All you can love is your idiotic beliefs.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

Maybe you need to lie because you can't find love.

I don't need to lie because I have found love — true love, the kind described in the following Scripture passage:

Eph. 5:22-24: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.

Maybe that's why you're so up-tight and angry all the time, because you can't truelly love.

Uptight and angry all the time? Us?



Maybe you're so uptight and angry all the time because you just don't want to accept God's plan for you as a female.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

I don't need to lie because I have found love — true love, the kind described in the following Scripture passage:

Eph. 5:22-24: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.

Uptight and angry all the time? Us?

Is that Michael Richards on the left there?

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, love. We True Christians are FULL of love, as God commands:
Deuteronomy 6:5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

Have a look at Darren's answers, landoverites. Right there are answers that would not get you castrated.

No, my dear Rachel.

Those are the answers given by someone ALREADY castrated.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

What are you thinking about? Sweet Jesus.

Do you love me? Almost as much as I love Sweet Jesus.

Do I look fat? SWEET JESUS, that's one bodacious boo-tay! Gimme some sugar!

Do you think she is prettier than me? She's not nearly as sweet as you. Or Sweet Jesus.

What would you do if I died? LET'S FIND OUT, YOU INCESSANTLY NAGGING . . . Er, I mean, pray that Sweet Jesus would enjoy your bodacious boo-tay in Heaven as much as I enjoy it here. And still share it with me when I get there!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

What are you thinking about? Sweet Jesus.

Do you love me? Almost as much as I love Sweet Jesus.

Do I look fat? SWEET JESUS, that's one bodacious boo-tay! Gimme some sugar!

Do you think she is prettier than me? She's not nearly as sweet as you. Or Sweet Jesus.

What would you do if I died? LET'S FIND OUT, YOU INCESSANTLY NAGGING . . . Er, I mean, pray that Sweet Jesus would enjoy your bodacious boo-tay in Heaven as much as I enjoy it here. And still share it with me when I get there!

Brother, are you speaking in tongues? What on earth can those words mean? Surely you wouldn't lower yourself to using unintelligible nigra street slang on God's favorite forum...

[tommy]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

Very funny topic, pastor Ezekiel!

With you, heaven won't be boring.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

Brother, are you speaking in tongues? What on earth can those words mean? Surely you wouldn't lower yourself to using unintelligible nigra street slang on God's favorite forum...

My apologies, Pastor.

I believe I may have been tainted by my encounter with those three bucks I asked Remy about. I'd heard it rubs off!

I shall go to my dungeon -- er, basement prayer room -- with Rosa and have her help me purge my mind of such filth.

[Arethusa]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

[/list]
1:Killing Islamists for Jesus.
2:After Jesus? Sure. You're my silver medal.
3:Nothing a diet and eating less won't fix.
4:Of course I do, but she's not fat so do you blame me?
5:Try and get a newer model so I can make more babies for Jesus Army.

These are the best answers yet. No. 2 is my favourite. Your wife is certainly blessed, Marshall.

[see_the_light]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

Brothers, we have all been in those uncomfortable situations when a woman starts asking questions that seem simple enough, but are actually satanic traps designed to ruin an entire weekend.

The 5 toughest questions a woman can ask a Man are:

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

.

I'm afraid inspiration has never been my strong point.

For ANY of the questions above the answer is simple:

QUESTION (1 to 5)

ANSWER: "What?"

Repeated question (already a bit off-balance)

ANSWER: "Don't be silly woman!"

if any sound is uttered ...

ANSWER: "ts ts ts ts" (and gently but surely going for the whip... and the gag)

WORKS EVERY TIME! PRAISE THE LORD!

[Elmer Christianson]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

1. What are you thinking about? Nothing Dear
2. Do you love me? Every Night
3. Do I look fat? HUH?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me? Ye-What?
5. What would you do if I died? Wonder off in the wilderness.

[Lezbean (On Moderation)]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

Brothers, we have all been in those uncomfortable situations when a woman starts asking questions that seem simple enough, but are actually satanic traps designed to ruin an entire weekend.

The 5 toughest questions a woman can ask a Man are:

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

1: Dunno
2: Yep
3: No
4: Nope
5: Dunno

O, sweet, simple answers, you can't go wrong! Of, course, if I had to really answer these questions, I would do so convincingly!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 5 Tough Questions

Shout GLORY!!