Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

[Didymus Much]

Re: Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

...I know that I am overstepping my boundaries by a) reading and posting on this forum and b) giving an advice to a True Christian™ Man...

Yet, you went ahead and did it anyway. Are you starting to enjoy the "corrections" your husband gives you?

...Have you thought about female circumcision? Although I don't think it is mentioned in the Bible...

No, it's not. Are you sure you've read it?

...it is a simple solution that will make it impossible for your wife to feel any pleasure during the act of procreation.

You mean you've never found your Grafenberg spot? Is your husband hung like a mouse?

[Basilissa]

Re: Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

I have taken precautions to avoid such a disgrace, but never-the-less satan has managed to worm his way into my wife's nether-region. And this in spite of fervent prayer, use of the thrice blessed gunny sack, lovingly applied kidney punches, etc.

It began during an especially vigorous seeding session. I was determined and driven by the Holy Spirit to implant another son within her belly. As I approached arrival, I was suddenly distracted by a series of low grunts, punctuated by a high pitched shriek. In utter disgust, I withdrew before the demon within her could sink its fangs into my manhood. What occured next will haunt me forever.

Satan took his parting shot and delivered a devestating sucker punch to the prostate, forcing my seed to spill upon the sheets, and sending billions off unborn babies directly into the lake of fire...

Being too mentally and physically exhausted to beat the devil out of the woman, I decided to leave her confined in the gunny sack for the night, so she could pray for forgiveness without distraction.

Unable to fall asleep, partly because of the thoughts weighing heavily on my mind, and partly because of the incessant screaming, I sought solice through self deception...maybe those unGodly grunts and groans were born of discomfort,or maybe even pain. A smile spread across my face and I was soon sleeping like an infant...

However, the next morining my woes were renewed. Despite her meditatons within the blessed gunny sack, she arose with a twinkle in her eyes and a lilt in her step. She seemed less nervous, less on edge...never a good thing.

Brothers, I need your guidance and prayers, please help me! If this happens again, I'll have to stone her!

Yours in Christ,
WH

Dear Sir,

I know that I am overstepping my boundaries by a) reading and posting on this forum and b) giving an advice to a True Christian™ Man, however, you seem truly concerned about this issue. Have you thought about female circumcision? Although I don't think it is mentioned in the Bible, it is a simple solution that will make it impossible for your wife to feel any pleasure during the act of procreation.

[Alterboy]

Re: Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

Give her more chores to do! That will suck the demon of lust right out of her.

[Mr. Sam Woo]

Re: Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

Hey buddy, we all been there! I know it not fun when you can't please your wife!

You stick with me buddy, I got powdered rhinoceros horn! Shhhh! Very hush, hush! Loose lips sink ships, right buddy?

I sell you small vial for $300. Normally $350, but I give you deal! One pinch of rhino powder and you can keep it up for days!

I 73 years old! Works like a charm every time!

You send me your number, buddy, I take care of you!

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

Why are even fornicating? God says your body IS NOT for fornication.
1 corinthians 16:13 and 1 corinthians 16:15

You can't fornicate with your wife!



YiC,

Zech

[Uss_Columbia_SSN771]

Re: Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

Why are even fornicating? God says your body IS NOT for fornication.
1 corinthians 16:13 and 1 corinthians 16:15

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

If she's enjoying it you are obviously taking too much time. Get it done as quickly as possible.

Amen Brother Godfly, taking too much time at these activities only feeds the devil's workshop of female fantasy. I would only add that every True Christian™ husband should do a thorough inspection of any magazines lying around the house and make sure that any subscriptions to Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Vogue, and anything by Oprah (including her television shows) be banned.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

I would suggest aversion therapy.

Get some apomorphine from your locale vet and give this to your wife just before you start with sex. You need to be quick because in about 5 minutes she will be agony with the cramps and the vomiting.

After you have done this 10 or 20 times she will have gone so off recreational sex that you will practically have to force her; I found this would speed the whole process along nicely and you would have extra time to vacate the room before she fouls herself.

YIC

That sounds like a good idea...I do have some rupinol that I confiscated from a homer date-rapist during my days as a youth councellor. Do you know if it works on women?

[Godfly]

Re: Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

If she's enjoying it you are obviously taking too much time. Get it done as quickly as possible.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

I would suggest aversion therapy.

Get some apomorphine from your locale vet and give this to your wife just before you start with sex. You need to be quick because in about 5 minutes she will be agony with the cramps and the vomiting.

After you have done this 10 or 20 times she will have gone so off recreational sex that you will practically have to force her; I found this would speed the whole process along nicely and you would have extra time to vacate the room before she fouls herself.

YIC

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Brothers, I need your help...I think my wife enjoys being seeded!

Brother,

This is a certain woman in Des Moinse I hire to deal with my female house staff when they have a demon upon them like you seem to describe. I caution against you directly correcting your wife because in her sinful state she may sink into depravity so it's best another woman disciplines her. I can send the contact information on for Ms Robin. if you do contact her be away she does dress in an unconventional fashion, but that is only to put sinners on notice.

I hope this helps

[Witch Hammer]

I have taken precautions to avoid such a disgrace, but never-the-less satan has managed to worm his way into my wife's nether-region. And this in spite of fervent prayer, use of the thrice blessed gunny sack, lovingly applied kidney punches, etc.

It began during an especially vigorous seeding session. I was determined and driven by the Holy Spirit to implant another son within her belly. As I approached arrival, I was suddenly distracted by a series of low grunts, punctuated by a high pitched shriek. In utter disgust, I withdrew before the demon within her could sink its fangs into my manhood. What occured next will haunt me forever.

Satan took his parting shot and delivered a devestating sucker punch to the prostate, forcing my seed to spill upon the sheets, and sending billions off unborn babies directly into the lake of fire...

Being too mentally and physically exhausted to beat the devil out of the woman, I decided to leave her confined in the gunny sack for the night, so she could pray for forgiveness without distraction.

Unable to fall asleep, partly because of the thoughts weighing heavily on my mind, and partly because of the incessant screaming, I sought solice through self deception...maybe those unGodly grunts and groans were born of discomfort,or maybe even pain. A smile spread across my face and I was soon sleeping like an infant...

However, the next morining my woes were renewed. Despite her meditatons within the blessed gunny sack, she arose with a twinkle in her eyes and a lilt in her step. She seemed less nervous, less on edge...never a good thing.

Brothers, I need your guidance and prayers, please help me! If this happens again, I'll have to stone her!

Yours in Christ,
WH