Masturbation Advice Website Blocked by JesOS(c)

Pastor Ezekiel

Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study

Join Date: Sep 2006

Posts: 78556
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Masturbation Advice Website Blocked by JesOS(c)

06-02-2013, 05:20 PM

It has come to my attention that there are several websites that actually advocate for people to masturbate. As you all know, this offends God, and masturbation has been a passion of mine for several years.

This is just to announce to the brothers that henceforth all access by females to THIS website will be blocked by our JesOS(c) Operating System. They don't need to see such filth, and they're so weak-minded that they'd start diddling themselves non-stop if they read the heathenistic filth posted on that page.

I continue to use the site for my personal research.

If any of you men find other such sites, I can see to it that (once I screen them) they are placed on the banned list too.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Dr Laurence Niles

Psychotheological Analyst Therapist

Join Date: Jan 2012

Posts: 9063
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06-02-2013, 06:19 PM

Re: Masturbation Advice Website Blocked by JesOS©

Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

It has come to my attention that there are several websites that actually advocate for people to masturbate. As you all know, this offends God, and masturbation has been a passion of mine for several years.

This is just to announce to the brothers that henceforth all access by females to THIS website will be blocked by our JesOS© Operating System. They don't need to see such filth, and they're so weak-minded that they'd start diddling themselves non-stop if they read the heathenistic filth posted on that page.

I continue to use the site for my personal research.

If any of you men find other such sites, I can see to it that (once I screen them) they are placed on the banned list too.

I feel sorry for Jesus: with His omniscience He is obligated to watch young men, plying their filthy trade on PC or Mac.

How I would hate to have to watch youthful, clean limed young youth, sweat dripping from their brow as they 'pump their chambers' until culmination.

YIC

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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