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  • Old Iron Crotch
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
    So now you're saying Jesus is a pedophile?

    He said:

    Matthew 19:14
    But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

    He did not say:

    Lumpy's Book of Perversions 23:9
    "Bind the little children, and lubricate them well, so I may go in unto them: for this is how they shall serve Me in Heaven."

    Your vile ideas make me ill, Lumpy.

    Neither Jesus nor our friend Bob4God is a disgusting, sex-crazed monster like you!

    I never accused Jesus of pedophilia. I do have my suspicions about Bobbing4Gonads.

    Nudity does not, in and of itself, indicate a desire for, or constitute an invitation to sex. Sometimes it's just a way to keep your clothes dry.

    Leave a comment:


  • SUV
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Seeing the 'headline' of this post so disgusted and dismayed me; imagine - a Boy without a Circie! - that I read nothing and jumped Straight to the end in order to say: JUST DO IT!!!

    For God's Sake. You'll thank yourself in the morning. Or maybe a few mornings. After the Pain and Bleeding stop

    Leave a comment:


  • Rev. M. Rodimer
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
    Of course - you can't swim in a water-logged robe.
    So now you're saying Jesus is a pedophile?

    He said:

    Matthew 19:14
    But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.


    He did not say:

    Lumpy's Book of Perversions 23:9
    "Bind the little children, and lubricate them well, so I may go in unto them: for this is how they shall serve Me in Heaven."

    Your vile ideas make me ill, Lumpy.

    Neither Jesus nor our friend Bob4God is a disgusting, sex-crazed monster like you!

    Leave a comment:


  • Bob4God
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Lumpy, as our own Pastor Deacon Fred stated in his spring break sermon, "He [JESUS] doesn't like to flop about, displaying his enormous dangling holy parts in public"

    Quite obviously the boys we're talking about didn't have the same since of modesty and shame concerning their "floppy parts," for which they have now been rebuked for displaying to each other.

    Leave a comment:


  • Old Iron Crotch
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Originally posted by Bob4God View Post
    Naked?

    Of course - you can't swim in a water-logged robe.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bob4God
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
    I don't think Jesus would have been upset about a group of boys having a swim. Having grown up in a hot, dry climate, he might have even welcomed the chance to join them for a dip.
    Naked?

    Leave a comment:


  • Old Iron Crotch
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Originally posted by Bob4God View Post
    Well, Lumpy, it still stands that tallywackers are a part of your womanly duties, regardless of their appearance.

    I have no "womanly duties." I make love with my husband because I want to, not because I have to. It is a joy, not an obligation.

    I've been married to my lovely wife for six years, and even though it's Biblically okay to see her naked, I prefer to turn out all the lights before any kind of "activities." My parents' protective words still ring in my ears, "If you so much as imagine somebody who is not your wife naked, JESUS will send angels to come and poke out your eyes!"

    Why would you imagine another woman while looking at your wife?
    And angels will NOT poke out your eyes for imagining, or even actually seeing naked people.

    GLORY TO GOD, AND BLESS THEIR SOULS FOR SAVING ME FROM SUCH LURID TEMPTATIONS OF THE FLESH!

    Oh, and what is it that YOU think JESUS would've done?
    I don't think Jesus would have been upset about a group of boys having a swim. Having grown up in a hot, dry climate, he might have even welcomed the chance to join them for a dip.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bob4God
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Well, Lumpy, it still stands that tallywackers are a part of your womanly duties, regardless of their appearance.

    I've been married to my lovely wife for six years, and even though it's Biblically okay to see her naked, I prefer to turn out all the lights before any kind of "activities." My parents' protective words still ring in my ears, "If you so much as imagine somebody who is not your wife naked, JESUS will send angels to come and poke out your eyes!"

    GLORY TO GOD, AND BLESS THEIR SOULS FOR SAVING ME FROM SUCH LURID TEMPTATIONS OF THE FLESH!

    Oh, and what is it that YOU think JESUS would've done?

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
    I don't think that's what Jesus would have done.
    Like you would know anything about Jesus.

    Leave a comment:


  • Old Iron Crotch
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Originally posted by Bob4God View Post
    I REBUKE YOU, WOMAN!

    The only thing you need to know about tallywackers is that they are a part of your womanly duties. You're not even supposed to BE in this section of the forums! Also, you call yourself hateful, a feminazi, and a witch! I REBUKE YOU THREE MORE TIMES, AND AGAIN FOR BEING PROUD OF YOUR SINS!

    That was not what I originally posted - your mods changed my post.
    I said that the only reason to circumcize was if there was a medical problem such as phimosis. Otherwise, leave the penis intact.

    Brother Rodimer,

    Rest very assured I have no interest in young boys but to see them on the right hand of GOD ALMIGHTY in the Kingdom of Heaven. I haven't enjoyed seeing naked people since the day I was saved.

    Not even your wife?

    But because I myself want to stroll the streets of gold with our Savior and talk about the people we never really liked back on Earth, I will allow you to look for any signs of uncleanliness there might be in my Godly mind.

    Well, my first instinct was to rebuke them sharply for being naked in front of each other and for splashing around in what was obviously very cold water. They could catch a terrible cold!

    Then I saw that the heathen wasn't even circumcised, and I remembered what Matthew said about not letting uncircumcised people be around you.

    I started to open my mouth wide to do the LORD's will, when I realized I wasn't sure what he was exactly telling me to do, so I had to stop and listen. GOD warned me that because this little injun brat is new to the group, I shouldn't scare him and send him back to tell his parents and have them come scalp me, or sue me for a bunch of money so they can open their own casino. He has enlightened me that, instead, I should corner him in front of all the boys back at church and find out if he's some kind of homo-pervert, and then lead him to CHRIST, no matter how long it takes, GLORY TO GOD AND AMEN!

    Thank you, Brothers in Christ!
    I don't think that's what Jesus would have done.

    Leave a comment:


  • Nobar King
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Sounds like you have everything pretty much under control. Is there anything else about this injun that's worrysome to you?

    Leave a comment:


  • Bob4God
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
    Fine - there is nothing wrong with a boy being cut. In fact, there is no good reason for having a p***s.
    As a hateful feminazi witch, I think the p***s should always be removed.
    I REBUKE YOU, WOMAN!

    The only thing you need to know about tallywackers is that they are a part of your womanly duties. You're not even supposed to BE in this section of the forums! Also, you call yourself hateful, a feminazi, and a witch! I REBUKE YOU THREE MORE TIMES, AND AGAIN FOR BEING PROUD OF YOUR SINS!

    Brother Rodimer,

    Rest very assured I have no interest in young boys but to see them on the right hand of GOD ALMIGHTY in the Kingdom of Heaven. I haven't enjoyed seeing naked people since the day I was saved.

    But because I myself want to stroll the streets of gold with our Savior and talk about the people we never really liked back on Earth, I will allow you to look for any signs of uncleanliness there might be in my Godly mind.

    Well, my first instinct was to rebuke them sharply for being naked in front of each other and for splashing around in what was obviously very cold water. They could catch a terrible cold!

    Then I saw that the heathen wasn't even circumcised, and I remembered what Matthew said about not letting uncircumcised people be around you.

    I started to open my mouth wide to do the LORD's will, when I realized I wasn't sure what he was exactly telling me to do, so I had to stop and listen. GOD warned me that because this little injun brat is new to the group, I shouldn't scare him and send him back to tell his parents and have them come scalp me, or sue me for a bunch of money so they can open their own casino. He has enlightened me that, instead, I should corner him in front of all the boys back at church and find out if he's some kind of homo-pervert, and then lead him to CHRIST, no matter how long it takes, GLORY TO GOD AND AMEN!

    Thank you, Brothers in Christ!

    Leave a comment:


  • Brother Temperance
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
    Perhaps you should teach your daughter how not to get pregnant.
    As far as I'm aware, the most effective way of not getting pregnant is to be a man. Are you saying that he should give his daughter a tallywhacker? That's just weird.

    Leave a comment:


  • Old Iron Crotch
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
    This started off OK with Lump posting something biblical, but then it's instantly devolved into a thread about Lumpiness, and not uncircumcised boys. Do you think we could stay on topic at least once?
    Fine - there is nothing wrong with a boy being cut. In fact, there is no good reason for having a p***s.
    As a hateful feminazi witch, I think the p***s should always be removed.
    Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 06-02-2008, 11:35 PM. Reason: guttertalk edited

    Leave a comment:


  • Rev. M. Rodimer
    replied
    Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

    I'm shocked to see Lumpy quote the Bible, correctly, and in a useful and relevant manner.

    Pardon me while I pick my jaw up off the floor.

    Now, Bob4God, I must say words I never thought I would utter: "Lumpy is right."

    There is no reason for you to be concerned about a Christian boy being uncircumcised. To be honest, I'm a bit more concerned about the thought of you taking a crew of teenage boys into the woods alone and closely watching them as they towel off their naked, muscular bodies. Is it possible you have a bit of an excessive interest in young boys?

    I think you should tell us exactly what was going through your mind while you stared at them splashing in the water, dripping on the shore, and as you were investigating their choo-choos. Leave nothing out; it will help us to help you purge your mind of any uncleanness.

    Leave a comment:

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