Feminization and underfunding of the US Military to blame for DC Navy Yard Massacre

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

In "Mailbag: who is to blame for the Washington Navy Yard shooting?", I should have added "Inadequate Funding for the Military" to the list of suspects. This incident has certainly made me update my Military Wishlist:

Jeb's Military Wishlist:

1. Flying aircraft carrier group, so we can fly an aircraft carrier group into the Caspian Sea (Cost: a trillion or two)
2. Gold plated bomber jets, so we can carry out stealth bombing raids disguised as a rappers "pimped out" learjet (not to be confused with currently existing bombers that merely cost as much as if they were gold plated.) (Cost: same as existing bombers)
3. An improved version of the F-35 lightnings ][ (cost: 1.5 trillion) improved to make it as effective in counterinsurgency warfare as the P-38 Lighting from WW2 (cost: $134,284 each)
4. A tank-aircraft carrier with a pool on top for floatplanes to land on. (Cost: about a trillion)
5. Jetpacks. If only to make the sci-fi nerds quit whining. (Cost: Mid billions)
6. More golf courses. The Department of Defence may own more golf courses than anyone else in the world, but who knows what the North Koreans are up to? There's a lot of sweet hills there, just add a few sand traps and who knows what they could do? (Cost: priceless)
7. An F-22 raptor that drops actual raptors. Just because. (Cost: Seriously, I think the palaeontologists would do this for free).
8. A gun that shoots a bullet with a gun on it that shoots a bullet with a gun on it with a bayonet on it. (Cost: A a few billion)
9. Cavalry and Bayonets, in order to make a lie out of Obama's debate with Mitt Romney. (Will pay for itself, because we can impeach Obama for lying!)
10. WW1 Ironclads, since Mitt Romney likes them. (Cost: a fixed percentage of our GDP, the way Mitt Romney likes it.)
11. A big cluster bomb that covers an area the exact size and shape of Mecca. (Mid billions)
12. Stealth embassies. (Billions)
13. Because the 40 generals, admirals and civilian equivalents based in Europe haven't stopped Russia from getting uppity, let's add another 40, and promote the rest to new, higher ranks like "Generalisimo" or "UberAdmiral". (cost: low to mid billions)
14. A gun like in that movie. You know, the cool one. (Cost: a billion or two)
15. Propaganda campaigns to stir up unrest in all the places China has invaded since 1979. (Cost: free, until China hurries up and invades somebody)
16. A Headquarters in Washington that doesn't let crazy people with a history of gun violence just walk in and shoot all your admirals in the face. (Cost: how much do brain transplants cost again?)

This is only the latest in a long string of "keystone cops"-style failures, all of which are caused by a lack of spending on the military:

History of the US military since WW2:

1950's:

• Defeats North Korea, but due to lack of funding MacArthur threatens to nuke China, bringing them into the war. Which catches MacArthur completely off guard. Stalemate snatched from the jaws of victory.

1960's:

• President assassinated. By a guy who was trained by the US Military. I bet the Marine Corps would have done more soul-searching if he'd missed.
• Military deployed to race riots in search of snipers. They shoot lots of bystanders, but find no evidence of any snipers anywhere. With funding we could have found or made evidence.
• Drops more bombs on Southeast Asia than in all of WW2, loses due to lack of funding. A few more WW2-loads and we would have won. Now it turns out that Red Vietnam is doing capitalism better than the Republic Of Vietnam ever did, meaning we were on the wrong side the whole time. With more money we could have figured this out in time.

1980's

• Taliban and proto-Al Queda funded, due to lack of funds.
• Mission in Beruit is bombed. Hundreds of marines die, Reagan cuts and runs, due to lack of financing.
• Glorious victories over the evil empire of Grenada and the evil empire of Panama! However, no victory over the evil empire of El Salvadorian peasents, due to an insufficiency of funding.

1990's:

• Our former ally Iraq is bombed into the stone age, at the loss of only a quarter million troops crippled by gulf war syndrome. When the dust settles we realized that Iraq was the only thing preventing Iran from conquering the world. This Blue-On-Blue self-inflicted wound was caused by lack of money.
• To the complete surprise of our spies, the USSR decides to disband, leaving us with no enemies that can't be dealt with by the Coast Guard, the FBI/interpol, and our allies. The expected reduction of the military to it's traditional peacetime size does not occur, due to lack of funding.
• Run out of Somolia by a bunch of starving kids. Lack of funding again.
• Military comes to the rescue of children at Waco's Branch Davidian cult, ends up watching them burn alive instead. Nobody thought to put a fire truck nearby due to a shortage of funding.
• Planned week-long bombing of Serbia ends up taking months, empowering the KLA, a Muslim terrorist group. World learns that our stealth fighter can be shot down by old soviet tech. Due to lack of spending. Chinese embassy bombed due to lack of funding.

2000's:

• 12 guys with boxcutters and some play-dough destroy our financial and military HQs. We could have stopped them if we could have afforded our own box cutters and play-dough.
• Saddam's regime destroyed. Cost: 5 dead. Due to a lack of funding, the military stays in Iraq. Cost: 5,000+ dead, $3,000,000,000,000 estimated costs, Iran empowered yet again. Due to lack of cash.
• Afghanistan, a nation poorer than 1000AD england, defeats our plan to make it as moderate and westernized as it was under the Soviets (who even put an Afghan in space). Heck, with a bit more funding we could have put an Afghan on the moon, but you know, deficiency of funding.
• 1,000,000 terrorists on the loose, according to the no-fly list. Due to a lack of funding, hardly any of them have been caught, not even the many toddlers.

2010's:

• Military trusts masses of top-secret documents to a private. Who wants people to call him Chelsea. Due to lack of funding for gaydar stations.
• Billions spent to turn Libya from the richest part of Africa, ruled by our newest (if weirdest) ally, into typical African chaos. And we suffer the Benghazi embassy attack, the worst thing to happen to America since Valley Forge.
• Snowden affair. More mega-secrets lost, lack of money again.
• Guy walks into Pentagon-equivalent, shoots 12 people. With more funding we could have bought new technology to counter his magic Siamese Kickboxing powers or something.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Feminization and underfunding of the US Military to blame for DC Navy Yard Massacre

lack of funding

Our economy wouldn't have been in it's current disastrous shape if we just had properly funded all those wars! Clearly something that should never be in the hands of a democrat.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Feminization and underfunding of the US Military to blame for DC Navy Yard Massacre

Our economy wouldn't have been in it's current disastrous shape if we just had properly funded all those wars! Clearly something that should never be in the hands of a democrat.

I blame the Clintons.

[Truvuv]

Re: Feminization and underfunding of the US Military to blame for DC Navy Yard Massacre

Why do feminazis have to try to ruin this country?

[Donovan A. Mordecai]

Re: Feminization and underfunding of the US Military to blame for DC Navy Yard Massacre

I'll tell you what the elephant in the room is:

We only spend 52% of our tax revenue on defense. It seems to me, that figure is pretty low, and I'm guessing that the offensive budget is shoehorned in there somewhere, further depleting the resources we need for protection.

It's pretty clear that we need to funnel more into the DOD, and siphon it from dead end drains like education and social security (no benefit to justify the cost).

What good will all that fancy secular education do you if you're speaking arabic?


God Bless
DAM

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Feminization and underfunding of the US Military to blame for DC Navy Yard Massacre

I'll tell you what the elephant in the room is:

We only spend 52% of our tax revenue on defense. It seems to me, that figure is pretty low, and I'm guessing that the offensive budget is shoehorned in there somewhere, further depleting the resources we need for protection.

It's pretty clear that we need to funnel more into the DOD, and siphon it from dead end drains like education and social security (no benefit to justify the cost).

What good will all that fancy secular education do you if you're speaking arabic?


God Bless
DAM

Praise Jesus! You hit the nail on the head.

And while we're on the subject how's about the U.S. Government doing it's fair share!? Washington owes LBC years worth of back Tithes! And baby Jesus needs a new pair of shoes!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Feminization and underfunding of the US Military to blame for DC Navy Yard Massacre

Jeb's Military Wishlist:

Flying aircraft carrier group, so we can fly an aircraft carrier group into the Caspian Sea (Cost: a trillion or two)

Obama, I TOLD YOU SO SO!

Now due to Obama's stinginess we have lost the geostrategically vital Crimea, giving the Evil Empire a stranglehold on:

cattle breeding, poultry keeping, and sheep breeding. Other products produced on the Crimean Peninsula include salt, porphyry, limestone, and ironstone -Wikipedia

Yes, global economic collapse is inevitable. Without a source of ironstone, Putin now has a monopoly on obscure forms of obsolete tableware:

Wikipedia: Ironstone is used as a component in some ceramics, commonly known as "ironstone china". Josiah Wedgwood also manufactured a "stoneware" china in the 19th century. It was commonly used for heavy-duty dinner services in the 19th century.[3] Charles James Mason (son of the potter Miles Mason) took out a patent for "Mason's Ironstone China" in 1813.[4] Ironstone china was very popular during the 1970s.

And with the world's porphyry mines in Putin's hands, how can we make Byzantine statues? We've been checkmated!

Wikipedia: As early as 1850 BC on Crete in Minoan Knossos there were large column bases made of porphyry

We've collapsed back to a pre-1850 level of technology!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Feminization and underfunding of the US Military to blame for DC Navy Yard Massacre

Fun fact: when America bombed the Romanian oil refineries in 1943, we took 500 casualties and had no effect on oil production.

This year Saudi oil production was cut in half by a handful of drones, or something else, because we literally don’t know what hit us.

If it was Iranian missiles we would have been shown pieces of them by now, so I’m thinking it really was a bunch of toy planes with grenades on them.

Look at the bright side: the more wars a country loses, the better the uniforms get. Just think of how shiny the parades are going to get now that Vietnam is Vietnormal.