[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

Wow, I didn't know Jesus was a sadist

And you STILL don't know that. How is it sadism when sinners wantonly reject their chance at redemption? You hellbound unsaved scum do it to yourselves! Just like the mudslime scum brought the War on Islam on themselves.

And people say his persecutors were sick? Tsk tsk tsk tsk...

No, His persecutors are hellbound scum, just like you are, retard. Your persecutions actually BLESS us and CURSE you. Isn't that a nice neat system Jesus has?

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

Wow, I didn't know Jesus was a sadist

And people say his persecutors were sick? Tsk tsk tsk tsk...

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

Oh don't worry harlot. All True Christians™ will hear you roar, wail, scream and thrash as satan tortures you for all eternity. You'll give Jesus a good laugh, thats a promise.

Better repent now!

Wow, I didn't know Jesus was a sadist

[Window-Lickky]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

This is some music I listen to that LBC would ban for Teens.



1. Demon Hunter (Actually a Christian Band singing of Jesus's praise.)
2. Paramore
3. Bullet For My Valentine
4. Job For A Cowboy
5. Shinedown
6. Godsmack
7. Linkin Park
8. Skillet (Another Christian Band)
9. Flyleaf (Christian baaaaaaaaaaaaaand)
10. Three Days Grace
11. Three Doors Down
12. Green Day
13. The Used
14. Taking Back Sunday
15. Big & Rich
16. Billy Joel
17. Bon Jovi
18. AC/DC
19. The All-American Rejects
20. Atreyu
21. Apocalyptica
22. The Rasmus
23. Avenged Sevenfold
24. Black Sabbath
25. Ozzy Osbourne
26. Cartel
27. Our Lady Peace
28. Gorillaz
29. Buckcherry
30. Breaking Benjamin
31. Disturbed
32. Static X
33. Slipknot
34. Korn
35. Earth, Wind & Fire
36. Foreigner
37. Fort Minor
38. Franz Ferdinand
39. Nine Inch Nails
40. Fuel
41. Gackt
42. Gary Jules
43. Gazette
44. Jethro Tull
45. Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
46. Journey
47. Led Zeppelin
48. The Clash
49. The Sex Pistols
50. Marty Casey
51. The Lovehammers
52. My Chemical Romance
53. Men Without Hats
54. Papa Roach
55. Pink Floyd
56. Plain White T's
57. Poison
58. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
59. The Raconteurs
60. REO Speedwagon
61. Stevie Nicks
62. Stone Temple Pilots
63. Finger Eleven
64. Stone Sour
65. Styx
66. System of a Down
67. Tokyo Rose
68. Weird Al Yankovich
69. White Snake
70. Guns & Roses
71. Utada Hikaru
72. Thrice
73. Trace Adkins
74. ZZ Top
75. Yellowcard
76. Wild Cherry
78. 10,000 Maniacs
79. Weezer
80. 10 Years
81. Insane Clown Posse
82. Lamb of God
83. Adema
84. Aerosmith
85. AFI
86. Southbound Fearing (Christian Band)
87. Right Side Cast (Christian Band)
88. Abba
89. Biddu Orchestra
90. Demons & Wizards
91. Blink 182
92. Blue Oyster Cult
93. Bread
94. XTC
95. Charlie Daniel's Band
96. Jimmy Hendrix Experience
97. Lupe Fiasco
98. Coheed and Cambria
99. Cowboy Troy
100. Evanescence
101. Fall Out Boy




That's only a small portion of the bands I listen to.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

Today's banned artists are Woody Guthrie, Joe Hill, Bob Dylan, Shannon Murray, Avskum, and all folk/country music generally. The young kids, they go to their raves to get pilled up and mosh around to their acoustic folk singer-songwriters, and then in the morning they get up and join trade unions to overthrow America and Jesus. Not on my watch, and I would hope not on any of yours either. If you catch your child downloading any of this trendy new folk music onto their eyepods, the loving Christian thing to do is to beat the Communist demons right out of them - after all, better black and blue than red.

Bob Dylan music at a rave? Now there's a visual!!!
Can't you just see it - kids slam-dancing to "Blowin in the Wind" and waving glow sticks in time to "The Times They Are A-Changin"...

And what, pray tell, is an eyepod? It sounds like part of a squid's anatomy, certainly not anything you could download music to.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

Today's banned artists are Woody Guthrie, Joe Hill, Bob Dylan, Shannon Murray, Avskum, and all folk/country music generally. The young kids, they go to their raves to get pilled up and mosh around to their acoustic folk singer-songwriters, and then in the morning they get up and join trade unions to overthrow America and Jesus. Not on my watch, and I would hope not on any of yours either. If you catch your child downloading any of this trendy new folk music onto their eyepods, the loving Christian thing to do is to beat the Communist demons right out of them - after all, better black and blue than red.

[Shallow-izer (On Moderation)]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

I propose we ban all Christian gospels and Christian music, and such.

Why?

I do not approve of the lies it spreads.

^___^

And as a teen, I find it as stale as country.

Which also should be banned.

I have spoken my will!

DO IT!

[GothicDragon (Quarantined)]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

lol the chocolate in smores is supposed to be squishy anyway isn't it?

[Miss Hikari]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

I have crackers....but the chocolate melted on the way here ...we can have squishy smores I guess...

(but don't feed the TCs, they are on a strict diet of bible juice...they get bloated easily) (lol...jk)

...Darn. Squishy smores are ok though!
And you're right, the TCs are bloated! Maybe they need some Pepto-Bismol...
Want some champagne? (jkjk)

[GothicDragon (Quarantined)]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

I have crackers....but the chocolate melted on the way here ...we can have squishy smores I guess...

(but don't feed the TCs, they are on a strict diet of bible juice...they get bloated easily) (lol...jk)

[Miss Hikari]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

Hi!, can I join the party? I brought marshmellows...

You're not a TC, so sure!! Do you have chocolate and graham crackers too? We need smores! A hell party is nothing without smores.

[GothicDragon (Quarantined)]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

Aah, finally some sane people... Lil_Lolita_Girl21 and Dances with Joy.
BT, my only question is, does god really care if I listen to Dir en Grey or Church music? It's all the same. Notes being played and people singing.

And Peter, Epic. Frikking. Win. for knowing Faith + 1.

And BT, I still have so much music you haven't banned yet.

And being roasted does sound fun. At least all the interesting people will be roasting with me. Group Party in Hell! *serves appetizers and tosses a beach ball*

Hi!, can I join the party? I brought marshmellows...

Oh my goodness!!! Miss Hikari and Dances With Joy are sane!!!!!Still haven't banned any music i listen to BT!!!!!!!!!!!!

same here...

Please see my sermon on the ways in which satan uses rock music to decieve HERE. It just might save you from eternal damnation.

....how about no, lol

God, Allah, Jehovah, are all one and the same.

Agreed.

Personally, in my opinion, hell's not that bad. I think I rather be roasting on a spit, than stuck with you guys for an eternity. That would be hell in it's self.
I have to agree with this point as well .

Which is where your immortal soul comes in. Do YOU believe in an afterlife?

yes, just not the same one you believe in

[Miss Hikari]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

Friend, God and Satan are not the same thing. This is pretty basic stuff we're dealing with here.

But how do you know that Allah/Jehovah/Buddha/etc = Satan?

So, when one of your unsaved buddies makes a reference to an unGodly cartoon, it's cause for an "epic frikking", but if a Christian recognises that reference, it's cause for you to insult them even more? Typical lieberal double standards.

Hmm... He recognized it first. That's why it's epic. If you had gotten there first it could have been epic too.

Listen here you awful little emo queen, 99% of those sodomites are probably mewling about other sodomites when they whine on about their "romantic feelings" or "lost love", and authority quite rightly frowns on the misuse of horse tranquillizers, so there goes your argument.

OI! I have morals! I wouldn't touch emo with a 30 foot pole. Emo, is nasty. I
And I've never even seen a horse tranquilizer. And have you ever heard the song Butterfly's Sleep by L'arc en Ciel? That song is lost love, in music form. But it's nice that you called me a queen. Thanks for the compliment, BT. *blows a kiss*

[quote=Brother Temperance;69002]

What an original opinion. We've certainly never heard that one before. Why not douse yourself in petrol and set yourself alight right now, if it's so much better than spending time here?

Mail me some petrol, and maybe I'll do it. And it's fun spending time here. Gives me a daily dose of laugh.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

God, Allah, Jehovah, are all one and the same.

Friend, God and Satan are not the same thing. This is pretty basic stuff we're dealing with here.

Does being Christian rob you of a sense of humor?

So, when one of your unsaved buddies makes a reference to an unGodly cartoon, it's cause for an "epic frikking", but if a Christian recognises that reference, it's cause for you to insult them even more? Typical lieberal double standards.

Hahahaha... No. That rules out none. The majority of my music is about romance, lost love, and defying authority, and *gasp*I even have some Gospel music on there.

Listen here you awful little emo queen, 99% of those sodomites are probably mewling about other sodomites when they whine on about their "romantic feelings" or "lost love", and authority quite rightly frowns on the misuse of horse tranquillizers, so there goes your argument.

Personally, in my opinion, hell's not that bad. I think I rather be roasting on a spit, than stuck with you guys for an eternity. That would be hell in it's self.

What an original opinion. We've certainly never heard that one before. Why not douse yourself in petrol and set yourself alight right now, if it's so much better than spending time here?

thanks!! you have common sense too!!!!!

If you two want to start up a mutual appreciation society, you're more than welcome to do so, but while you're here using up our bandwidth and exclamation marks, we'd prefer you did so for some reason vaguely connected to Jesus. This is a Church forum, after all.

Either way, there is nothing physical to fall into your fiery lake or for your devil to rape or otherwise harm.

Which is where your immortal soul comes in. Do YOU believe in an afterlife?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: BANNED MUSIC for Teens - List it Here

Let me explain to you how being unsaved trash works when you die.

You're dead. Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
Hit that Paypal button at the bottom of this page at once to set up a Salvation™ guaranteeing tithing schedule.
Surrender you soul to Jesus and
JOIN US.
Praise Jesus!

How exaactly does all this happen to a non-corporeal essence? When a person dies, the body is usually embalmed, placed in a lead-lined box, which is bolted shut and buried approximately six feet below the earth's surface, nowhere near the core, which is where I assume you believe your hell to be. Or the body is burned in a crematory and the ashes returned to the family. Either way, there is nothing physical to fall into your fiery lake or for your devil to rape or otherwise harm.